Wednesday, December 30, 2009

And the Workouts

I must admit, the plans for the next three months scare the living tar out of me. Hehe. Oh well, the experts/gurus are always saying that if your goals aren't making you sh*t your pants, then you didn't shoot high enough.

Here, then, are the workouts I have planned, as well as the measurements I took this morning. I'm going to be heading up north for a couple of days and won't be back until Sunday, so I figured I'd get out ahead of the crowd. Most of the exercises should be on YouTube, and make sure all of them are done with proper form.

January Workouts

Choose from one each of the 5 days. Make sure and keep it constantly mixed up, we want to keep the body guessing. That's why there are five of the workouts. Don't repeat any one of the workouts more than once per week.

Warm-ups:
Choose three exercises from this list: Bodyweight Squats, Bird Dog, Y-Squats, Push-ups, 2-leg Hip Extensions, Single Leg Hip Extensions, or Y-Pulldown

Cool-downs:
Choose three exercises from this list: Bird Dog, Y-Pulldowns, 2-leg Hip Extension, Prone Cobra, Camelback, Sun Salutation

Workout A
Each exercise 30 seconds, go through each of the exercises without rest then rest for 1 minute and repeat. Go for four times through total, although pure beginners may want to start with 2 times through. The point is to get as many reps in each exercise as possible and match or beat those reps with each subsequent round.

-Kettlebell Swings
-Push-ups
-Kettlebell Clean and Press
-Mountain Climbers
-Side to Side Squat
Rest 1 minute, repeat up to 3 more times

Workout B
Each exercise 30 seconds, go through each of the exercises without rest then rest for 1 minute and repeat. Go for four times through total, although pure beginners may want to start with 2 times through. The point is to get as many reps in each exercise as possible and match or beat those reps with each subsequent round.

-Side to Side Squat
-Staggered Push-ups
-Split Squats Side 1
-Split Squats Side 2
-Spiderman Climb
Repeat up to 3 times

Workout C
Each exercise 50 seconds followed by 10 seconds of rest, go through each of the exercises then rest for 1 minute and repeat. Go for three times through total, although pure beginners may want to start with 2 times through. The point is to get as many reps in each exercise as possible and match or beat those reps with each subsequent round.

-Kettlebell Swings
-Jumping Jacks
-Plank
-Jumping Jacks
-Mountain Climbers
-Push-ups
Repeat up to 2 times

Workout D
In this workout, you have twenty minutes. Period. Do your warm-up, then set the timer, then try to do as many rounds of this circuit as possible in the 20 minutes. Each week, try to beat your "score" by a) one or more reps, b) one or more exercises, or c) one or more rounds. There are six exercises, and minimum number of rounds is three. If you get more than seven, substitute tougher versions that work similar muscle groups.

-Kettlebell Swings x 10 reps
-Push press x 10 reps
-Split Squat x 10 reps each side
-Spiderman Climb x 10 reps each side
-Push-ups x 10 reps
-Burpees x 10 reps (don't include the push-up variation)
Repeat until 20 minutes is finished, then cooldown.

Workout E
Each exercise 20 seconds followed by 10 seconds rest, go through each of the exercises four times through total, then take 1 minute rest and move on to the next two exercises. The point is to get as many reps in each exercise as possible and match or beat those reps with each subsequent round. This is also known as the Tabata protocol, and it is brutal for your fat stores and cardiovascular system- which can only mean good things!

-Jump Squats
-Push-ups
Repeat 3x, then 1 min rest
-Burpees
-Spiderman Climb
Repeat 3x, then 1 min rest
-Kettlebell Clean & Press
-Jumping Jacks

This workout was designed for healthy people who have been exercising for at least six months. It is not meant to be construed as medical advice. Please consult your physician prior to beginning this program.

And my measurements:
Weight: 161 lbs
Bodyfat: 22 mm (29%)
Right arm: 12.75"
Chest: 33"
Waist: 30.5"
Hips: 37"
Gluteus: 41"
Right thigh: 23.75"

For comparison's sake, here are some old measurements:
November 9, 2009: 163 lbs
February 23, 2009: 166 lbs
February 2008: 147 lbs

I could type up the inches stuff, but no one except me truly cares. Just know that I'm up about 1-3 inches in most measurements from 12/13/2007, my apparent lowest point.

Okay, enough information for now! I'm signing out for a few days, but I'll be back on accountability on Sunday. Hopefully with the meals plan for the week!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Overview

Here's an overview of the next six months, starting January 1, 2010 and ending June 30, 2010. Keep in mind that these goals are geared toward myself specificially, but they should be easy to follow and adapt if you want. I set my sights extremely high on purpose: first, something I really need to work for, and second, I need to prove something to myself. As a trainer, I am constantly bombarded with announcements from other trainers that say they've had people lose 15-20 pounds in one month using the meat & veggies only plan. I need to prove to myself that that is real. If I can do it with myself, then I can implement it with clients.

I plan to weigh in once a week, do a bodyfat measurement with Accumeasure calipers, and every two weeks, measure inches in the right arm, around the belly button, around the hips at the widest point, and the right thigh.

Also, I will be planning my meals in advance. The compliance % changes with each month, and will be dependent upon results. Compliance means that if I'm eating 5 meals per day, 7 days/week, I have a certain percentage of meals I can skip/flub up on/use to let my hair down. 100% compliance means just that: it's intense, and only happens for one month. 90% compliance means I get three meals per week; 80% compliance means I get 7 meals per week. There's one full rest week in the middle, which is practice for maintenance plus a reward week. I haven't really thought about my weekly/monthly rewards yet, which means I'll need to put them in later.

The Big Picture: 6 months, January 1-June 30, 2010

Month One: January 1-January 31
Hardcore, Intense, Exhilarating
Reduce fat by 15 pounds minimum, 1 mm decrease (BF%) every 5 days
Workouts: Metabolic Circuit 5x/week; Fun/Active 3x/week
Diet: Meat, Eggs, Veggies with plenty of fruit, yogurt, and oatmeal
Compliance: 100%
End Goal: Size 10, 150 pounds by Jan. 31

Month Two: February 1-28
Intense and Exhilarating
Reduce fat by 10 pounds minimum, 1 mm decrease (BF%) every 7 days
Workouts: Metabolic Circuit plus depletion circuit 5x/week; Fun/Active 3x/week
Diet: Meat, Eggs, Veggies, Fruit, add in more whole grains after workouts only
Compliance: 90%
End Goal: Size 8, 140 pounds by February 28

Month Three: March 1-30
Start Tweaking
Reduce fat by 5 pounds minimum, 1 mm decrease every 7 days
Workouts: Metabolic Circuit plus depletion 6x/week; Fun/Active 2x/week; High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) 1x/week
Diet: Meat, Eggs, Veggies, Fruit, Whole Grains (some cereals) after workouts only
Compliance: 80-90%
End Goal: Size 6-8, 135 pounds by March 30

Active Rest: April 1-6
Rest week, Fun/Active workouts only
Diet: Work on intuitive eating, but relaxed

Month Four: April 7-30
Tweaking and Fitness Increases
135 pounds and 20% or less BF%
Workouts: Metabolic Circuit plus depletion 6x/week; Fun/Active or Endurance 3x/week; HIIT 1x/week
Diet: Meat, Eggs, Veggies, Fruit, Whole Grains
Compliance: 80%-90%
End Goal: Size 6, Seeing abs and muscle definition by April 30

Month Five: May 1-31
The Final Stretch
135 pounds and 17% bodyfat, ready for bikini and model shoot ;)
Workout: Metabolic Circuit plus HIIT 6x/week; Steady State/Endurance 2x/week; Outside and Play 1x/week
Diet: Meat, Eggs, Veggies, Fruit
Compliance: 90%
End Goal: 17% bodyfat by May 30

Month Six: June 1-30
Maintenance Man: At Goal, Now to Keep It
Workout: Metabolic Circuit 5x/week, Outside and Play 2x/week
Diet: Intuitive eating, enjoy seasonal fruits and veggies

I'll post January's workouts either today or tomorrow. They'll require a bit of floor space and a kettlebell. If you didn't notice, every month is a Metabolic Circuit. I do have a gym membership that I should use, so I may get to the gym and actually lift weights, but I'll likely just follow the plan. It's these metabolic circuits that are causing my bootcamp clients to lose 1 mm of bodyfat per week (or more, some have pulled off 5 mm in one week!), which is why I'm using them. My clients also are given a superset-style weight workout and HIIT workout each month that they're asked to do outside of class, so I'll also include that in the workouts even though my plan doesn't call for them.

See what I mean when I said I was keeping it simple? It'll be hard and intense, but not confusing. I'm leaving carb/protein ratios in the dust behind me. That's probably the smart thing to do.

I'll probably end up using a lot of protein powder, smoothies, etc. I might even plan for a nutrition bar or two. It's cold outside, and that means I'll rely a lot on warm/hot foods during the colder months.

If you said you were with me on this thing, let me see you commit on your blog!

Monday, December 28, 2009

Planning Stages

Well, I just wanted to quickly write that I'm in the planning stages for the next six months of my life. I'm getting really clear on it, but keeping it simple too. I tried getting too complicated last time, and that just didn't work. Hopefully my life doesn't get completely thrown through the cement mixer this time, either.

So here's to the next six months!

I'll do a look back at the past decade this week too. Probably not here (or if anything, just the highlights), but it's been a pretty amazing last ten years. To give a teaser: New Year's Eve 1999, I was 19 years old, in college, and had just started dating my now-husband. Two high school friends, my then-boyfriend, and I rented a hotel room and celebrated with illegal drinks (none of us were of age) and the thought that, just maybe, something spectacular was going to happen with the turn of the millenium. That's still the question: did something spectacular happen? Well, from my perspective, 2000-2009 have been pretty amazing years. I'll drink to my twenties!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Huge-Ass Support

As a trainer, I find myself giving support out to others all the time. However, I rarely take in any support for myself when I have fat loss goals. I do that to a lot of other areas of my life as well, so it's obviously a common theme with me.

So, I've gotten to a point where I realize I really need support. And I mean REALLY. I keep taking steps, but I don't do them with any consistency. I let other things get in the way- teaching, getting projects done, etc. I HAVEN'T been following my own advice: eating properly, exercising daily. The fat loss that was starting a few weeks ago has stalled, and I know it's my own fault.

I have a hard time approaching others for help, and am more likely to give it out than let myself receive it in return.

HOWEVER. It is time for me to ask for help. Whether it's this blog, or hiring a trainer, following the Warp Speed Fat Loss program to the letter, following the Precision Nutrition to the letter, or just designing something myself and having someone check in with me daily/weekly that I've got something invested in, what have you.

A couple years ago the FAT Coalition did a month-long contest where everyone contributed $10 and the person who had the best results won the pot. It didn't quite end on the best terms, but it was helpful for me to push myself during the Christmas season.

Right now my ball keeps starting and stopping, or at the very least, rolling VERY slowly. I don't like it and am ready to change that.

So what am I saying? I don't know. I want help, but I'm stubborn, always thinking I can do it on my own. Not the best team player.

But if you haven't noticed, this blog has basically died, and with it the hopes of attaining 147 lb by Christmas. That's a pity party I know. I need to get off my high horse and take real, consistent, designed action. Otherwise, nothing's going to happen.

Anyway, if anyone is still reading this, I had an idea. Google Wave is awesome. It's more than awesome, it's amazing. And its support capabilities are endless. Think IM, blog, email, social media, all wrapped into one. If you've used it already you're likely as excited about it as I am. If not, get an invite and get on then look me up (carrie DOT moritz AT googlewave DOT com). I think a Google Wave support group would be awesome. Hold each other accountable. Give updates. Of course, that requires us to take action and be accountable. It's a lot easier to ignore email/blogs than it is to ignore the person in the grocery store who you attend support group with. AA for weight lossers who are off the bandwagon and somewhere back there on the road, maybe.

So here's what I propose: I am looking for a group of 5-8 people, and we're going to get TIGHT. We are going to line up goals and rewards. We're going to Wave on a daily basis. We are going to hold each other accountable- through phone, email, GoogleWave, etc. We're going to form a circle and we won't let each other go. We are going to get together for six months- no more, no less. It's going to start January 1, 2010 officially, but will start to ramp up before that. In those six months, we are going to do what it takes to once and for all reach our goals. Boom. Done. Just like that. We'll encounter obstacles and face them together. We'll work out together if need be (virtually, of course). I'll ask for help, and if I stop asking for help and start giving advice that I'm not following, you'll be able to kick me in the pants. I'll set something up where maybe I have to give you lots of money if I don't accomplish my goal, although that might backfire if you get greedy ;)

So let me know ASAP if you want to be part of this group. I'm opening it up to more than just the FAT Coalition folks.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Da Workouts

I've been terribly busy as of late! I'm working on a top-secret video project that's requiring more time than I was hoping it would, but isn't that how it always goes?

The workouts have been hardcore. I changed things up a bit and have been methodically working on my bootcamp workouts, so I'm getting some heavy sweat going at least three days per week. The accu-measure bodyfat tester I bought several weeks ago, measured myself with, then threw with disgust has shown some promising results: down from 27 mm to 22 mm. I'm hoping that's due to actual fat loss and not to improving my measurement capabilities, since I've been also measuring all my bootcampers. The muscles in my arms are starting to make a reappearance. Wonderful. I had missed them! So, if I lost any fat, it wasn't in the face like usual, but in the arms. And it hasn't shown on the scale.

I've been waffling back and forth for the last week and a half as to whether or not to join Tom Venuto's 50-day challenge. Wouldn't mind the pressure; would hate the pressure. I have until midnight tomorrow night to decide, and it's actually probably earlier than that because of Thanksgiving stuff.

For a moment of sad reflection, tomorrow was also supposed to be the final day for the challenge I started back in September. I have made progress. My life has progressed soooo much in the past three months, although Sept already feels like a lifetime ago. I'm somewhat Sad, because I spent so much of that time between then and now just surviving life. Alright, not really. I have been through a lot. At the same time, I know I could have done lots better. So, that is why I just keep plugging. It'll happen!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Quick

Quick, before I get distracted and go to something else!

I did NOT take off those three pounds. I'm sitting steady at 164 (sad, but true). Workouts are going great, I'm going through my bootcamper's workouts again and tweaking them as needed because I have great plans for them ;). I reset my goal, but this time I'm not going to have that little "panic" button go off inside that makes me do the opposite of what I need/want. So, four pounds, next two weeks? Good goal. Noticed that Thanksgiving is next week, which is of course the original deadline date I had. Sigh. Oh well, on the way to great things anyway!

Also, check out the contest that Tom Venuto of "Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle" is doing. SWEET!

Monday, November 9, 2009

I Believe...

Well, I believe I did it. Lost those two pounds, I mean. Of course, most of it required taking off my jeans... *grin* Just kidding. Weigh-in this morning put me at 163. I believe it must have all come off my face, cause people were noticing already. Jeans were also fitting well this morning, and two weeks ago I gave them up entirely because they were getting too tight.

Now that I'm not in denial, I can really see where I put on the weight in the last year: all in the hip/saddlebag/thigh area. Ew. I notice it most when I'm in Zumba class in front of the mirror. (By the way, if you haven't tried Zumba yet, go find a class nearby. It won't substitute for a good hard bodyweight workout, but it's fun!)

So, that means I'm working. Feeling good, getting several workouts in a week, eating more sensibly- it's so nice to be back to that again.

Goal for this week: three pounds gone forever.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Take Two

Well, I just lost about 15 minutes of good blog material. Lovely. That'll teach me to click buttons! Well, I'll try again.

I had an idea this morning that would be for an iPhone/touch app, but am unsure of how to proceed without it costing a bundle (and wouldn't mind making money in the process!). Here it is: I'm an extremely visual person, so a visual representation of how I'm doing weight-wise would be good for me. I'm thinking of having an avatar on a path, 3D preferable, that leads either to a lava pit or a treasure/game/whatever, depending on where you're at regarding your goal. Let's say you put in a current weight of 215 and have a goal of 180. If you type in that you gained 5 pounds, your character would move closer to the lava pit. If you type in that you lost 5 pounds, your character would move closer to the treasure. I'm thinking a game would be fun, as it can only be unlocked once you hit your goal (in fact, several games/levels along intervals might be the most compelling). No games if you're heading toward the lava pit. How fun does that sound? Let me know if you know anyone with the knowhow who'd be willing to partner up on that.

On my own fronts, I'm starting to cruise again after hitting a week's worth of brakes. I intend to lose two pounds this week. I like it when good habits just kick in, because autopilot's the best. Then there's no fighting, there's just making sure the momentum keeps going. It's definitely a lot easier. So, I'm working on that momentum. I figure I'll ramp it up to the point where I literally am flying by December 1, and will hit January 1 at 150. That being said, if anyone wants to lend me their copy of Warp Speed Fat Loss, I'd be willing to borrow it.

The training people thing is going great too. I'm remembering why this is my passion! It's definitely not easy, but when you've got people who are willing to work and who are seeing results, it's all worth it.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Focus

You know how they say you can really only focus on one thing at once? It's incredibly true. I can multitask, I'm just not very good at it. And if I do it, then I'm not really focused.

I will be honest here, upfront. I have not been focusing on the weightloss goal as of late. (Obviously, since I haven't been posting daily like I planned.) In fact, I lost focus on that one approximately one week after I started it.

What a surprise.

I've been focusing, instead, on moving, surviving my parents' house, and starting a business. If you didn't catch the word, we moved back "down south" to the South Dakota/Northwest Iowa area. We didn't really stop to think, but that's okay- things are working out.

So I lived in my parents' house for one month, pure torture. We moved out as soon as we could. Not that I don't love my parents, and I have been extremely grateful for their support, but I haven't lived with them for over ten years now, and I definitely run my life quite differently than they do. So, we've got a place, had to spend one over-worked week flipping it, and moved in this past weekend.

That was last week. At the same time, I started teaching bootcamp classes in two locations (both a half hour away from my house and from each other). They are so much fun! Even if I was exhausted by last week, I'm glad it happened.

It's also taught me one thing: it's time for me to get back in the game. Time to stop pissing around and not only get myself back in shape, but be a good role model as well. I can't tell these people to go eat their veggies and then gorge myself on Taco John's. That's just cruel.

So, I am re-focused. I'm not going to get overly detailed because I believe that derailed me a month ago. However, cleaning things up, lowering portion sizes, and getting a bottle of protein powder usually works wonders, so that's what I'll do. AND I'll work on posting more often.

If you want to see what I've been up to, you can visit http://www.carrannmorfitness.com and take a peek!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

A Metabolic Circuit

My workout on Friday was something sweet. I did my first metabolic circuit (outlined in Afterburn by Alwyn Cosgrove and Stubborn 7 by Josh Hillis) in a long time. Basically, I took four total-body kickass exercises and did as many sets as I could in 20 minutes. Entire workout time: 30 minutes (included warm-up and cool-down/stretching).

I completed 7 sets of 8 reps of each exercise, performed in this order:
Deadlifts x 10lbs dumbbells
Pull-ups (assisted) x 17 weight number (not sure what that means in weight reduction, but is high)
Bodyweight squats
Kneeling push-ups

Now, the key is for me to do this set one more time again next week, and try to get more sets. Once 8 sets are accomplished, I'll increase the difficulty.

If you haven't noticed yet, I'm changing up the workouts every time I am working out, but using high-quality, large muscle-group exercises.

I'm not feeling as focused as I would like to be. Of course, the next question becomes, how am I going to be more focused? That would be planning the menu, following a pre-planned workout design, etc. So, am I ready to do that? Not surprisingly, there's a part of me that says "no." Why? Because so much of my life feels out of control right now, that I feel like I cannot really control anything. Which is stupid. I control more than I give myself credit for, but I'm giving up that control to the chaos of not pre-planning. Ew. But then I realize that I tend to spend hours in the pre-planning stuff, instead of the minutes that it should take. Another ew. No wonder I avoid it.

And no wonder I'm feeling like a failure at many points.

No, I'm not looking for pity or even a kick in the ass, I'm just outlining this in words for myself. I kick my own butt just fine.

So what is one thing I can do to combat this?
-I can make sure I have healthy food at hand and pack a lunch the night before
-I can go to bed on time so I can get up on time, and be able to get everything done in a morning that I need to
-I can make sure I get A workout, any workout, in whenever and wherever possible.

I did get four workouts in last week. I felt sore from all of them, which means I'm pushing myself (I wasn't sore to the point that I couldn't move, so the push didn't go overly far). Good. That's one thing accomplished. Now to get re-focused on diet.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Three in a row

Today marks the third day in a row that I got a high-quality workout in. The workout today was weights followed by intervals on an Arc Trainer, yesterday was Zumba (more on that), Sunday was a 20-minute run/walk interval workout.

I'm pretty proud of that. I am now on my third week, and my workouts are getting tougher, more frequent. I'm definitely a happier person due to that.

Now, eating. It has not been anywhere near what my brain perceives should be perfection. It's been much cleaner. I'm choosing higher-quality foods when eating out, eating smaller portions, using lettuce and spinach as lunch-time staples. After eating 6 egg whites with mushrooms and spinach for 7 days for breakfast, I'm finding that I can't get myself to eat it again. Point one: don't force yourself to eat it day after day if you don't like it. I was trying to get my calories and ratios perfect. As in, I had used hours the day before trying to figure out exactly what portions I could eat of such and such of food, and was going to follow that. I accomplished one meal. Obviously, that didn't work. It was eye-opening though- first, how much I had been eating before, and second, how much fat is actually in my diet. ONE tablespoon of olive oil has 14 grams of fat. When the plan I had laid out allowed for only 12 grams of fat per meal (on average), that didn't allow for any other type of fat to be in the meal unless I skimped on the oil. Which doesn't work if the pan needs to be greased and you don't have any spray. So next lesson: get spray.

So I continue to the work to improve everything, and continuing to measure myself.

Today's workout routine:
Warm-up- Bodyweight squats, kneeling push-ups, stability ball roll-outs 2x10 circuit
1a: Chest Press 3x8, 20 lb dumbbellss (after warm-up of 5 lbs, 10 lbs x 10)
2a: One armed back rows 3x8, 20 lb dumbbell (after warm-up of 5 lbs, 10 lbs x 10)

1b: Renegade lunges 3x16 (8 each side), 8 lb medicine ball
2b: Kneeling push-ups 3x8

1c: Stability ball leg extensions 3x15
2c: Medicine ball ab twists 3x16 (8 each side), 8 lb medicine ball

20 minutes of intervals: 2 min warm-up, 1 minute on-2 minutes off (5 cycles), 2 min cool down. All on the Arc trainer with a resistance of 15.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

What Day?

I refuse to say I've lost focus, because I haven't. I will admit to not being quite as focused as I had hoped I would be. I can make excuses all I like, but there's the truth of it. I won't justify.

I got a great workout in on Tuesday. I'm planning on one tomorrow. I am going to have to get comfortable with working out in my parents' house, or else nothing's going to happen.

Food, on the other hand, has been better than it used to be. Nowhere near where I want it. Today's intake of vegges was great: lettuce salad w/ carrots and grapes for lunch, apple for mid-snack, grapes for mid-snack, salad for dinner. Intersperse that with Cheerios at breakfast, 3/4 a three musketeers candy bar late afternoon, and a 10-piece McNuggets, and you've got my day.

I'm not quite sure where the sabotage is coming from. Something in my subconscious just is wigging completely out right now. It's time to take back control.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Moved

We moved this past weekend, now we're back in the Southeast South Dakota area. Hence the lack of posts since last Wednesday! The eating hasn't been anything to brag about, but I've gotten in a couple of workouts.

I didn't mention anything about it, but last week I concentrated on making sure breakfast was solid. Even if nothing else went right, at least I would have breakfast right. I'm working on getting ratios to a 40%-30%-30% (protein-carbs-fat) to a full day, but it's not going to happen all at once. I'm beginning to believe that is one of the reasons so many people fail at changing their dietary habits- it's because they try to change everything at once, feel deprived, and quit. Josh Hillis of the Stubborn 7 Pounds workouts suggested concentrating on just one thing at a time, for a week at a time. So far, I think he's going to be right. I'm going to continue hitting breakfast solid, and the next meal to tackle is lunch.

I think I also forgot to mention that I signed up to Snap Fitness on the Wednesday before everything changed. I rather like those gyms, each one I've tried has been comforting, goal-oriented, and just like a gym should be (unlike that Bally's POS place). I haven't had too much trouble getting myself to go to them, which of course makes sense because I love working out and just need a place to focus. Now that we've moved, the closest Snap Fitness is 20 miles away, but I'm willing to continue going to that gym for a while longer. I'll say one thing- I need the focus of a gym. I don't find enough of that working at home, no matter how convenient that is.

Here's a quick rundown of the last few days:
Thursday: This day is a hazy blur in my memory. I honestly cannot remember anything about it other than that we packed all day.
Friday: At some point during the packing, my hubby chased me out the door to the gym. It was strange- I was tired, had been on my feet all day, and wasn't looking forward to it, but once I got to the gym, it all changed. The workout was solid and felt great, and it gave me the energy to keep on packing.
Saturday: Moving day!
Sunday and Monday: No workout, not so great food choices.
Tuesday (today): Not so great food choices, solid workout.

Tuesday's workout:
1a: Deadlift 3x8, 15 lb dumbbells
2a: One-arm back row 3x8, 15 lb dumbbell

1b: Split Squat 3x8, 5 lb dumbbells
2b: Pushup, kneeling 3x8

1c: SB leg curls 3x15
2c: Plank, 30 sec

1d: Turkish get-ups, 1x5 each side

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Day Four

Spent the day packing today. Ugh. It's wearing, but we're shipping out on Saturday.

So the day's rundown:
Meals: Three of Five
Meal Grade: 50%
Workout: none

No excuses, it's just how the day went. It is going to change.

Meals:
Breakfast: 3 egg whites, 1 whole egg; 1/2 cup multi-grain Cheerios w/ 1/4 cup milk
Lunch: Leftover Chinese
Dinner: Gyro (1/2 restaurant portion), small handful fries, 1/2 cheesecake slice

Good choices today: Even though the choices weren't that great, there were some good things. I didn't overdo it on portion sizes to the full extent, there were no cookies involved (there's an open package sitting in my kitchen), and I was up and moving around all day.

How to improve: plan ahead. Eat something in between meals, even if it isn't high in protein. Quit moving houses quite so often.

Day Three

A good blog post from Bill Phillips, creator/writer of Body for Life, here. An excerpt:
"

An elder Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life. He
 said to them, "A fight is going on inside me… it is a terrible fight and it is 
between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, 
greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false
 pride, superiority and apathy.”

The elder continued, “The other wolf stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, 
humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth,
 compassion and faith."

"This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other
 person, too,” he added.

The Grandchildren thought about it for a minute and then one boy 
asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee looked the boy in the eye, gently smiled and whispered... "The one you feed."

This is one of my favorite parables of all time because it is so rich with truth and it conveys one of the most important lessons of life and transformation with such simple elegance.

"... Continue reading the story here.


I am currently avoiding bedtime, which I know I shouldn't but am. Here's Day Three rundown:

Meals: four
Workout: Yes
Day Grade: 85%

Didn't get all five meals today. It's time to start getting that grade up into the 90's.
Workout was good: Warmup Split Squats x 10, Plank x 15-20 sec, Extended Leg Stability Ball curl x 10 (repeat 2x)
Workout: Roman deadlifts 2x8, 2-25 lb dumbbells/chest press 2x8, 2-15 lb dumbbells; SB rollout (for abs) 2x8/Split Squat 2x8, 2-5 lb dumbbells; Swings 2x15, 15-lb dumbbell/Back rows 2x8, 4?; Arc Trainer 5 minutes.

For supper had Chinese food; the crack went straight to my head and I ate too much. That doesn't mean I ate the whole thing, but I definitely could have done with a lot less and split that one meal into three or four.

Things I did well today: Breakfast was spot-on, eggs w/ mushrooms and spinach. Made a high-protein meal from some carbo-leftovers and couldn't eat what I made (partly due to taste, partly due to being satisfied). Workout was good, though not terribly tough. If I'm not sore tomorrow, I will need to pick up the pace and start increasing weights. Tomorrow I'm slated for some HIIT training, which should feel good.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Day Two

Day two: did not get a chance to post on Monday, but here's the rundown

Meals eaten: three
Healthy-o-meter: 75% or less
Workout: none
Day Grade: D+

Made good choices in some areas, not in others. Decided not to order Dairy Queen when we pulled into the parking lot, only had one slice of pizza (thin crust) and two lettuce salads with minimal dressing. Otherwise, planning was not good, workout didn't happen, and otherwise not-so-great execution for day two.

That means I get to buck up for day three!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Day One

Day one on the imaginary scorecard: 85%. Not bad. I will call that decent. Only remembered to take a picture of one meal. Workout done. Five meals eaten.

Meal one: egg whites with spinach and mushrooms, 1/4 cup oatmeal
Meal two: lean ground beef with onion mushrooms green beans and 1 cup watermelon
Meal three: ice cream birthday cake small slice (knowing how those go it was still probably about 300 calories)
Meal four: six inch roasted chic breast with cheese and spinach on honey oat bread from subway
Meal five: same

Workout: bodyweight exercise warmup- squats x 10, y-pulldowns x 10, stability ball leg curls x 10 (go thru twice)
Supersets of renegade squats 2x16/push press 2x8, swings 2x15/back rows 2x8, clean and press 2x8/mountain climbers 2x20
Low weights as I concentrated on form and want to prevent being too sore.

I did this workout in a gym but the whole thing can be done with a kettlebell, and it Is definitely a pretty sweet workout.

The family and I traveled south today after a birthday party, (hence the cake and the sandwiches from Subway. Today was definitely very eye-opening as to how bad my calorie intake/portion sizes had gotten. Ooph.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Crazy, Pigheaded, or Determined?

My life has been absolutely crazy over the past week and a half. I moved down to the Cities from the Boundary Waters Canoe Area camp that I was at all summer, started transitioning back into city life, then boom! On Friday I lost my job. Damn economy.

It sucks, to say the least, but on the other hand, I'm super excited. I was pretty much done with that area of work, and have been feeling the magnetic pull back to training others for the past 2-and-a-half months. Hence part of the reason for "getting back to it." That and I don't care to stay where I'm at right now.

So, here's where the blog title comes in. Some might say I'm crazy, others pigheaded, but I'm calling it determined. Even though we're vacating the Cities in the next couple of weeks (sooner rather than later, as daughter needs to start kindergarten), I don't have another job lined up yet, and we're likely going to be homeless for a little while, I'm going to continue going ahead with this.

Each piece of the plan. The nutrition: spot on. The fitness plan: spot on. The goals plan: spot on.

I'm going to do it.

It's a truly scary thought, but I'm ready to bust a couple of chops right now, and I figure this is probably the way to go.

The plan starts tomorrow.

I'll post everything then.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

The New Direction.

I'll admit one thing and do it right away: the last year, fitness/nutrition-wise, sucked. I didn't get my legs under me. I pretty much did the most basic, wimpy, sally-type thing I could do.

So now that's out of the way, I'll let you know what I have been up to.

I'm starting a new direction. I'm spending this month doing the planning, the decision-making, the psychological junk that needs to be done before any workout or nutrition program begins. I've set my goals on paper, I've decided where I want to go and how I want to get there. I've been modifying my eating habits little by little, weaning off the sugar and reducing portion sizes. Increasing water intake. Doing movement that is non-intentional but more than I have been doing.

The official Start Date is August 29, a Sunday. It's quite literally almost two weeks from this Sunday. It will last 84 days, or exactly three months. This gives me an end date of November 21. It is a full program, taking me from semi-in-shape to killer fit, and from current stats (which still need to be measured, but are likely somewhere around 170 lbs and 26% bodyfat) to 146 lbs and 21% bodyfat (or at a rate of ~2 lbs and .5% bf reduction per week). There will then be a further month (right around the holidays, heh) to take me down to 140 lbs and 20% bodyfat. Then, I will go from there.

Wanna be with me?

I'll provide a full 14-week program- what to do, how to do it, when to do it. Exercise, nutrition, the works. Just email carrie_dr @ hotmail.com (without the spaces). I'll email you the specifics.

I'm blogging daily, even short posts when I have little time. I'll be posting food photos/logs, exercise logs, and much more. I'll try not to philosophize too much. But that's the basics for now.

Let me know if you want to join me.

~Carrie

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Being "Good"

Sorry, haven't quite gotten back into the habit of writing on the blog. I've been keeping on myself though! Haven't weighed in lately (as in like the last two weeks or so), but definitely feeling better, which is huge in and of itself.

I got my three workouts in last week, on Monday, Thursday, and Saturday. Saturday's workout was the hardest, mostly because I wiped myself out first with kettlebell, squats, lunges, and push-ups, then did Tabata Kettlebell Swings (20 seconds "on," 10 seconds "off"). I had to pause once during the rounds just to breathe, but otherwise I did it with my 20 lb new kettlebell (I'm loving it by the way, it's a pretty royal blue 20 lb bell by GoFit that was bought at Target- sooo much better than the el cheapo Reebok I got a couple Christmases ago at Shopko). Most of my workouts are kettlebell-based right now, and while I still use the DVD every once in a while (esp. since the 8-minute workout included with the 'bell is killer for me right now), I've finally started to move back into doing self-guided workouts. I like those better anyway.

Food's been so much better as well, esp since I've started making sure I remember snacks for between meals. Lately I've been big on apples with 2 tbsp of peanut butter, or a banana with 2 tbsp of Nutella (hazelnut chocolate spread, a bit high in sugar but seriously good, and it gets me to eat bananas). I also went to the grocery store on Sunday, spent less than a hundred dollars (awesome, we've been averaging $112 lately every two weeks), and stocked up on some major produce- lettuce, spinach, potatoes, corn, broccoli, green beans, peas plus fruit; yogurt, and other good stuff that I used to go out and buy without any longing toward the junk food. It felt good, but it's also a lesson in how eating processed food costs more. Note to self- try to limit the junk!

Today's workout was 20 minutes of 30 seconds on, 60 seconds off kettlebell intervals. Good hard stuff. Yay!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Rolling

Amazing that Thursday has come and gone! I haven't had the hardest time this week, and I'm working toward this week's goals.

-Meals haven't exactly been planned out way in advance, but the planning that has gone in is that which pertains to having a quality snack available for morning and afternoon. It has helped immensely. It's always funny how I can have times where I'm thinking, "ah, no snack, no problem, I usually don't need it anyway" but then end up eating my weight in food at mealtimes because I'm either starving or think i have the calorie allotment for it (weird justification, totally not true, mostly because our bodies don't digest large amounts of food as efficiently as small amounts, leading to food sitting in the digestive tract longer and more nutrients-ie calories- being ingested). However, when I have a snack, I feel much better and am able to regulate meals much better.

-I've had two workouts so far this week. Today's workout was short and quick, but I'm working my way back up the intensity scale more slowly than I thought I could. After nearly killing myself with an overly intense workout last week I realized that I need to build up some more of my functional muscle strength again before going all-out in the intensity department.

-Food choices have been much healthier. That's a good thing. Now all I need to do is teach hubby not to use so much pasta and we'll be set. Oh, and I need to hit up the grocery store for veggies. Realized last night that except for a cabbage, some cauliflower, and a bunch of onions, we're out.

I've also been doing some more releasing via the Sedona Method. Basically just getting rid of some of the layers of guilt, control issues, and need for approval and security. It can be amazing how liberating that is. I've built up quite a bit, but I'm seeing the positive side of the coin, which should help in future decisions. It's also helping me re-define why I want to go on this journey again. The re-start is something I've been having a very hard time with, because I've got such a huge fear of failing again. So, it's time to set myself up for winning, and to go all the way!

I'm thinking there's something else I wanted to address, but I've completely blanked. So, I'll sign off for today!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Uh huh...yep

Not sure what tone to take with today's entry.

To be completely honest, I'm experiencing some pretty heavy drag in my mental department- I'm where I'm at, and I DONT LIKE IT. But complaining about it, grabbing another bag of chips or slice of pizza, isn't going to help me out of it.

On the other hand, I realize that the only person that my weight gain affects (without taking into account what it does to relationships due to me beating on myself) is ME. The only person who hates me for not keeping my weight down is ME. The person who keeps making the stupid choices is ME.

So, where does that leave me?

I'm pissed off but not doing anything about it. That gets me (and you, as a reader) abso-freaking-lutely nowhere.

I bought two new pairs of jeans at Goodwill today because nothing else fits. Both were size 14. I gave away my 14's last May because they were too damn big. So, here it is: the tipping point.

I either shit or get off the pot, 'cause nothing's happening otherwise and it's just getting me mad.

I'm the one driving me, and it's time I took the wheel.

Part two never truly got started. False starts, empty hopes. Is this what this is? We'll see by the end of the week. Here's this weeks starting goal: 3 workouts, meals planned and written down.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Really fast quickie

Really fast-

I got a new kettlebell this weekend! Whee!

20# blue, comfy handle, included a short 8-min workout

I think I can live with that. ;)

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Time to Get Killer

I'll admit it, I've been drooling. Hang on a minute while I wipe off the keyboard. Craig Ballantyne, author of the Turbulence Training System, has just released all of his monthly workouts for $9.95 each, and I've been looking at them all. I may have a good portion of them, but I realize that I've missed a few, and I would love to get back in the Turbulence Training style of workouts. If you click here, you can check out all the workouts too. If nothing else, it's a good introduction to Turbulence Training without the price ($39.95 or something like that for the basic version, which actually isn't bad for 16+ weeks of workouts, eating suggestions, and the like).

I do realize that I said only a week ago that I've been doing well with my current workout program of Iron Core kettlebells and the strangely-silly-but-there Wii Fit, but I'm thinking I like to change way too often when I'm not on a solid routine, and I would love to get on one of those again.

So, off I go to either drool some more or actually get one of the Bodyweight Workouts. If you hear me scream, it's because I bought one that I already had.

Yeah, so I'm a TT fan, I'll admit it. Can I be Craig Ballantyne's next groupie? *grin*

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Child-Harried Workout

I mentioned a couple of days ago that I've been working out from home. It's great... except for the part where my 5-year-old wants to get in on the action.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love that she enjoys exercise of all types and kinds- she's almost always on the move. Jumping, dancing, walking, waltzing, dancing, riding bike, running up slides, dancing, etc. And lately, push-ups, kettlebell swinging, and Wii Fit running.

Alright, that's fine. What isn't fine is when she's taking control of the workout, telling me what to do, how to do it, and essentially causing me to dial down my work for her benefit. I'm complaining about this because 50% of my workout was doing the Wii running today, which if you haven't tried it, can give a semi-decent workout- if you're not expecting it to actually simulate a real run, or you don't have a competitive bone in your body and don't mind that you just caused yourself to stop breathing for lack of air and it STILL only gave you one star and chewed you out the whole time because you "passed your guide" or didn't "keep a steady pace to burn the most fat." As if.

So, after she got her fill of the run (3-- 4-minute intervals, with 1-2 min rest periods in between), and was chewed out for being bossy, my daughter was able to give up control of the workout and let me get some kind of strength training in. (If you know my philosophy, you know that I prefer strength training prior to cardio, mostly for the injury prevention and partly for the fact that it gives a dang hard workout that way.) I did about three sets of 10-12 push-ups and 45 or so bodyweight squats (another drawback to the Wii Fit: the squats are IMPOSSIBLE- you can put as much of your weight on your heels as possible without falling over backward, and you still can't get into the blue line that says you're performing the exercise right). There was also about 20 kettlebell swings thrown in somewhere.

Not a great workout in my opinion. I got sweaty. That's about all I can say.

Alright, I'll stop the complaining now.

On to better stuff: I'm looking more carefully at my diet, starting to think about playing with things. I've switched back to oatmeal for breakfast from the cereal, of which I am admittedly an addict and just need to stay off of. Similar to ice cream, I just can't have it in the house. My fruit intake could use a boost, although it's not absent from my diet- I've been eating at least one per day. I would prefer three, that's just me. Veggies vary daily. Many of my lunches are leftovers, so however many veggies were in last night's supper is generally the lunch. My hubby's been doing most of the cooking, which is partly pure laziness on my part and partly a scheduling issue- he's the one who's home prior to 6 pm. Strange, how I like to cook but hate to take the time to cook anything.

Scale: no shoes today, down 1.8 lbs to a strong 164.

Monday, February 23, 2009

The Kettlebell Experience

Hey!

I've been working overtime lately, trying to get over the biggest case of writer's block that I've ever experienced. That's not good, esp. for someone who writes as much as I do- whether it's work or play, I'm generally writing something. So, what better idea to get over writer's block than to write? And hey, I have this blog, that I pledged to write in everyday about 4 weeks ago, that I've only posted in twice! *cough* Yeah. So here I am, writing- whether it's any good, makes any sense, or whether I've even done anything for myself today. No promises, just a goal. I only have about 15 million of them.

No. 1 on the list: get back into shape
No. 2: get diet back into working order (right now, it's fine, but not great, and I want to improve it)
No. 3: finish reading the Sedona Method (seriously, if you haven't picked it up yet, start chewing on it)
No. 4: Accomplish some of those work goals (at which there is a whole 'nother list)
No. 5: Write something. Anything. Seriously.
No. 6: Sew that blanket for my sister. Follow those up with Barbie clothes for daughter.
No. 7: Take a half hour for myself and journal, or do something non-productive
No. 8: Figure out where I need to save my money towards over the next year
No. 9: Figure out what we're going to do with this summer (need nanny who's willing to do full-time for about $1000 or less, room/board included, live at camp! Know anyone?)
No. 10: The list goes on...

So anyway, I'm starting to get back into the rhythm of working out again. I believe I may have to write something about how hard getting going can be. Lots of stops and starts, false hopes and promises. Didn't help that I actually HATED my gym. Literally. Ew. Talk about creating any excuse under the sun so I didn't have to go. And ME, hating the gym, means it must've been literally the worst gym possible to pick.

I've been working on getting into the routine of working out at home. I bought those lovely kettlebells a little over a year ago, and I'm finally putting them to some regular use. Right now, I'm using the "Iron Core" DVD from GoFit, which is actually a pretty good little vid and workout. I know I've gotten nauseous from using it, which means it's working my anaerobic system pretty good (and I need it too). I'm also supplementing with the Wii Fit. And I downloaded this great little workout music sample from Workout Muse that has Tabata countdowns (20 seconds on, 10 seconds off, repeat 8 times for a 4-minute workout that might make you worship the throne afterward). I've also got a Taebo DVD that I might do one of these days, just to keep myself entertained. I figure in a week or two I'll be bored enough to actually do a workout that I've designed, or a Turbulence Training bodyweight workout. Right now, I'm just working on getting something going and keeping it going. If staring at the tv helps, I'm all for it. It's better than getting distracted by the antics of my daughter, who does almost everything in her power to get the attention she thinks she so richly deserves.

About my daughter: she also loves using the kettlebells ("kettleball"). I've got a 10 lb bell that is a bit too much for her (I'd prefer she had a 3 lb or 5 lb, she only weighs 40 lbs herself!), but she thinks it's the greatest thing since sliced bread to change into her "workout clothes" and do swings with me. After that, though, she generally loses interest, and spends the next 30-40 minutes running around me, standing right in front of me, putting blankets on the floor next to me, or whatever she can possibly think of. Oy. Not as bad as the vid I saw just a few minutes ago, though! Oh my! (Mommy is doing Yoga, and in the middle of it, baby crawls up to her and pulls down her shirt and begins to nurse!) Of course I now cannot remember where I saw it, and can't find it...

So, that's the story, and I'm sticking to it. Scale hated me again today. 166 even (+1.1 pounds from last week). It makes me hate the Wii Fit- whenever you gain weight, it makes you choose a reason. The one I had wasn't on the list: I was wearing my tennis shoes, when generally I don't have any shoes on. Those weigh 1.1 pound, right? I was too lazy to take them off and re-weigh. So, bad news: scale didn't go anywhere. Good news: scale didn't go anywhere. Better to not lose than to gain.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Shyit

Read this with the lens of weight loss on:

(From Twitter) RT@crazeegeekchick 5 Things you THINK will make you happy (But they won't) http://tinyurl.com/d974te

Wow, the insights I've come to. One thing I didn't mention in the previous blog post is that I'm currently reading "The Sedona Method" by Hale Dwoskin. Absolutely amazing book, and I'm only half-way through (I've been taking my time). I say this because one of my underlying issues lately has been a high level of anxiety and lack of motivation, and since starting this book, I've been not only feeling better but taking more positive action. One of the things he talks about in the book (which you have to get about a third of the way through the other stuff first, which doesn't really make a lot of sense) is how you have three basic wants that are the underlying root of all other emotion: approval, control, and security. It's amazing what releasing on these three wants does for a person. If nothing else, it takes your mind off the "tapes" that you're playing to yourself, so it can be an almost instant mood-changer.

Someday I may have to explain myself on this post, but for now I'm going to leave it and go to bed. And someday you'll also realize that I was once a Psych major, so I know alot of silly Psycho stuff that others don't and generally squeeze up their eyebrows going, "Uh, crazy lady..."

Gud nite!

I'm Pluggin'

I'm still plugging away, doing my utmost best to go as slowly as is asininely possible. The scale went down to 164 and stopped moving, but right now, the focus is to get some of my fitness back. Man, it's hard to 'fess up to that. But I'm moving. And that's about all I can say about that.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

A couple steps forward

I have been doing fairly well this week, IMO. Really. I may not have been attacking the blog with fervor, but that does not mean I'm not acting!

So far, I've gotten workouts in on Sunday, Mon, and Tue. Not one today, since I didn't get off work until 5:30 and I'm exhausted for some reason (prob. cause I had so much energy from yesterday's workout that I didn't want to go to bed until 12:00 am?). So, note taken. Go to bed on time you hoser. Got it.

I also re-printed out the entire Turbulence Training workout system. I really do love those workouts, they're quick, effective, and customizable (meaning one workout can either blast your muscles to shreds or just leave you shaky, depending on the weight you use). I didn't get to do Intervals afterward. I'm getting real ready to do intervals. One of my latest tools in my workout bag has been the Wii Fit, which has some fairly cool games on it but the strength portion is really lame. I use my kettlebells to help supplement, but the exercises aren't exactly well-balanced (front, back, diagonal movements with push, pull, and squat exercises). A heck of a lot of core exercises though, and a huge focus on improving balance. I can use that. I've always had horrid balance. It's improved slightly since I started working out regularly back in 2002, but boy, it still can use work. So those two things are what I'm mostly doing lately. I'm actually quite glad I'm getting back into the workout area.

I've also been keeping stronger tabs on what I eat, as well as portion sizes. It's the first step to getting everything in order, and the results are beginning to show. The Wii Balance Board has a built-in scale, and I've been getting on it nearly daily lately. It keeps a graph, too. The one thing that doesn't help is that I haven't been getting on at the same time of day, nor am I always wearing the same clothes. So the readings may be slightly off. However, the graph is moving in the right direction, which I'll take as good news and positive reinforcement.

So there it is. I'm actually starting to feel like I'm getting myself in order. It feels really good, as I've really been feeling off-kilter for quite a while now (if you hadn't noticed). It's time to be myself again!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

I'm Here, just AWOL

Getting back into the swing of things this week after last week's 80+ hour work-week. Got in one really amazing workout on Tuesday. Here's to one more if not two, eh?

And yes, getting that close to the Canadian border really does make one start to talk like that *wink and grin* Hoser! (Go watch Strange Brew if you don't understand that reference and then remember that the camp I work for is less than 5 miles away from the Canadian border). So I spent 9 days up at the camp, working a couple of decently hard retreats. This was, of course, on top of already working a full work week and a 60+ hour work week before that. I realized today that I've put in an extra 80 hours over the last four weeks. One of these was a weekend retreat, Saturday to Monday, where we had 90 people at a camp that technically has the capacity to sleep 50 (shh, no reporting please!). I was in the kitchen for much of that. Funny that I can cook and cook and not get hungry, in fact I see it only as some object that I'm working with and not as food. But when I sit down at the table, some weird mechanism kicks in where I get anxious that I won't get enough to eat. It's really strange, and something I've been fighting since starting this job. It may have something (okay it does have something) to do with control.

I like control. I like to be in control of myself, and am scared when I'm about to perceive that I'm going to lose it. Hence part of the reason why I've had such a difficult time these last months- I put a lot of my life out of control! So, I've been fighting that, and attempting to work through it. I get one piece under control, and another slips- a bit like a puzzle whose pieces are just slightly too big to fit. I can't really describe anything about it really well right now- it's midnight and my brain has shut down.

I just wanted you to know I'm still here, not off the wagon, but not holding the reins either. It's still strange, I feel like things are on the up-and-up. I hit rock bottom. I'm going the only way I can right now, and that's to better ground and better times. Now, if only I could get those puzzle pieces to fit...

By the way, my baby girl turned 5 years old today (on the 22nd)! I'm still having trouble grasping that one!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Part two officially kicking off?

Well, sometime in between writing my last blog post and the next morning, I had an epiphany of sorts. It's been building for a while, but some of it came after reading Will's recent New Year's posts. The realization is basically impossible to put into words, but just know that I'm truly making the turn-around. I'm going nuts on veggies, and using Billy's advice to stay slightly hungry. I've also committed to working out, or at least staying highly active. I'm hoping the regular workout will happen soon, but right now I'm just trying to get in major movement at least for 30 minutes every day. So, after the downward spiral that was happening, and then the plateau that nearly slid back into a downward spiral, I'm back on the up and up. I'm going to need a challenge soon.

Anyone else up for that?

Monday, January 5, 2009

Happy New Year's Resolutions!

I'm back (for a couple of days anyway)!

I had a great week last week, I learned how to snowshoe, cross-country ski, and play broomball (think a cross between hockey and soccer using broomsticks instead of hockey sticks and shoes instead of ice). All of them, lots of fun, lots of movement. I'm still sore.

It also showed me when and where I feel out of shape. Walking up hills, after long repetitive movements. Not after 10 minutes, or twenty minutes. I snowshoed for 4 hours- it hurt, but only in my hip flexors. I wasn't out of breath. I cross-country skiied for two hours- got my heart-rate up, kept a conversation going, got up some speed. No problem. I played broomball for an hour and a half. Got tired, wasn't doing as many sprints toward the end as I was in the beginning, but it wasn't difficult.

Nope. I was walking up the damn hill that got me pooped.

I'm also still eating too much, but I'm working toward it being the higher-quality foods again. Man, I can't wait until I get back under control. The funny thing is, I'm such a big believer in what you believe is how things are. I'm trying my damndest to try and believe I can change what's going on, but it's not happening. Oy.

I'm moving in the right direction though, so I believe I'll get there. I need to, and soon.