Exhaustion but I'm Still Up

Should have been in bed about an hour ago- woke up this morning with a strange dizziness and ringing in my ears that persisted through the mid-afternoon, was strangely fatigued, and not really feeling 100%- not sick, but not right, either. I figure I must be fighting something off.

Which means I should be in bed.

However, showing my ability to avoid the obvious, I'm here writing.

I've been thinking today about the concept of being a role model. It's come up because, as I so clearly pointed out to myself today, I've been aiming for the goal of 139 pounds for over 3 years now.

Either sh*t or get off the pot, as my mother would say.

I must say I'm rather happy at 150 lbs. I don't look bad. I feel good, quality of life isn't hindered, and my clients don't brush me off because I'm "so skinny they can't ever get to where I'm at."

However, and here's the kicker:

I really DO want to experience what it's like to have a very lean, muscular-looking body. Not a average joe, yeah-i-look-good-but-imagine-how-good-i-could-look-with-muscles-popping body. The "I can pop out 100 pushups without blinking" body, or basically, something that I don't have to worry about sucking anything in or being embarrassed in a swimsuit when I run into a client.

There's a standard that personal trainers are held up to by other personal trainers, and of course it's especially exaggerated for females- and I fail that standard miserably.

I am, quite honestly, NOT a good role model. I can't take my own advice that I'm giving out, most of the time.

And I need that to change.

Here's to taking my own advice.

Beck and I are starting a sugar-free 10-day challenge tomorrow (monday) morning. Here's to being a good role model and going sugar-free!