A couple steps forward

I have been doing fairly well this week, IMO. Really. I may not have been attacking the blog with fervor, but that does not mean I'm not acting!

So far, I've gotten workouts in on Sunday, Mon, and Tue. Not one today, since I didn't get off work until 5:30 and I'm exhausted for some reason (prob. cause I had so much energy from yesterday's workout that I didn't want to go to bed until 12:00 am?). So, note taken. Go to bed on time you hoser. Got it.

I also re-printed out the entire Turbulence Training workout system. I really do love those workouts, they're quick, effective, and customizable (meaning one workout can either blast your muscles to shreds or just leave you shaky, depending on the weight you use). I didn't get to do Intervals afterward. I'm getting real ready to do intervals. One of my latest tools in my workout bag has been the Wii Fit, which has some fairly cool games on it but the strength portion is really lame. I use my kettlebells to help supplement, but the exercises aren't exactly well-balanced (front, back, diagonal movements with push, pull, and squat exercises). A heck of a lot of core exercises though, and a huge focus on improving balance. I can use that. I've always had horrid balance. It's improved slightly since I started working out regularly back in 2002, but boy, it still can use work. So those two things are what I'm mostly doing lately. I'm actually quite glad I'm getting back into the workout area.

I've also been keeping stronger tabs on what I eat, as well as portion sizes. It's the first step to getting everything in order, and the results are beginning to show. The Wii Balance Board has a built-in scale, and I've been getting on it nearly daily lately. It keeps a graph, too. The one thing that doesn't help is that I haven't been getting on at the same time of day, nor am I always wearing the same clothes. So the readings may be slightly off. However, the graph is moving in the right direction, which I'll take as good news and positive reinforcement.

So there it is. I'm actually starting to feel like I'm getting myself in order. It feels really good, as I've really been feeling off-kilter for quite a while now (if you hadn't noticed). It's time to be myself again!

I'm Here, just AWOL

Getting back into the swing of things this week after last week's 80+ hour work-week. Got in one really amazing workout on Tuesday. Here's to one more if not two, eh?

And yes, getting that close to the Canadian border really does make one start to talk like that *wink and grin* Hoser! (Go watch Strange Brew if you don't understand that reference and then remember that the camp I work for is less than 5 miles away from the Canadian border). So I spent 9 days up at the camp, working a couple of decently hard retreats. This was, of course, on top of already working a full work week and a 60+ hour work week before that. I realized today that I've put in an extra 80 hours over the last four weeks. One of these was a weekend retreat, Saturday to Monday, where we had 90 people at a camp that technically has the capacity to sleep 50 (shh, no reporting please!). I was in the kitchen for much of that. Funny that I can cook and cook and not get hungry, in fact I see it only as some object that I'm working with and not as food. But when I sit down at the table, some weird mechanism kicks in where I get anxious that I won't get enough to eat. It's really strange, and something I've been fighting since starting this job. It may have something (okay it does have something) to do with control.

I like control. I like to be in control of myself, and am scared when I'm about to perceive that I'm going to lose it. Hence part of the reason why I've had such a difficult time these last months- I put a lot of my life out of control! So, I've been fighting that, and attempting to work through it. I get one piece under control, and another slips- a bit like a puzzle whose pieces are just slightly too big to fit. I can't really describe anything about it really well right now- it's midnight and my brain has shut down.

I just wanted you to know I'm still here, not off the wagon, but not holding the reins either. It's still strange, I feel like things are on the up-and-up. I hit rock bottom. I'm going the only way I can right now, and that's to better ground and better times. Now, if only I could get those puzzle pieces to fit...

By the way, my baby girl turned 5 years old today (on the 22nd)! I'm still having trouble grasping that one!

Part two officially kicking off?

Well, sometime in between writing my last blog post and the next morning, I had an epiphany of sorts. It's been building for a while, but some of it came after reading Will's recent New Year's posts. The realization is basically impossible to put into words, but just know that I'm truly making the turn-around. I'm going nuts on veggies, and using Billy's advice to stay slightly hungry. I've also committed to working out, or at least staying highly active. I'm hoping the regular workout will happen soon, but right now I'm just trying to get in major movement at least for 30 minutes every day. So, after the downward spiral that was happening, and then the plateau that nearly slid back into a downward spiral, I'm back on the up and up. I'm going to need a challenge soon.

Anyone else up for that?

Happy New Year's Resolutions!

I'm back (for a couple of days anyway)!

I had a great week last week, I learned how to snowshoe, cross-country ski, and play broomball (think a cross between hockey and soccer using broomsticks instead of hockey sticks and shoes instead of ice). All of them, lots of fun, lots of movement. I'm still sore.

It also showed me when and where I feel out of shape. Walking up hills, after long repetitive movements. Not after 10 minutes, or twenty minutes. I snowshoed for 4 hours- it hurt, but only in my hip flexors. I wasn't out of breath. I cross-country skiied for two hours- got my heart-rate up, kept a conversation going, got up some speed. No problem. I played broomball for an hour and a half. Got tired, wasn't doing as many sprints toward the end as I was in the beginning, but it wasn't difficult.

Nope. I was walking up the damn hill that got me pooped.

I'm also still eating too much, but I'm working toward it being the higher-quality foods again. Man, I can't wait until I get back under control. The funny thing is, I'm such a big believer in what you believe is how things are. I'm trying my damndest to try and believe I can change what's going on, but it's not happening. Oy.

I'm moving in the right direction though, so I believe I'll get there. I need to, and soon.