Sunday, September 14, 2008

Supposed to be a Quick One

Well, my idea of loving myself seems to be coming to fruition. I'm not only feeling better about myself, but I'm eating what I want and my clothes are fitting great. It's kinda weird.

I don't know that I've described it too much, but I brought it up in my blog earlier this week- how, truthfully, most people who are overweight hate themselves in some capacity or another. Ripx said in the comments that "hate" is a pretty powerful word. It is, and that's why I use it. If you really look at why human beings have fat stores, it's because our bodies are just trying to be good to us- to save up for that famine. So you can't hate your body for doing what it's supposed to be doing. Except we do. We hate that "weak" part of ourselves that let us "get fat" in the first place. We dislike how society has created this net around us of fast food and overbooked schedules. We hate that society expects us to be thin but constantly wants us to buy. We don't like how, if we lose weight, we still feel fat compared to the "beautiful people" or the people with abs. We hate how disgust overwhelms us when we look at ourselves in the mirror, or see an obese person on the street.

There's no love there. I think it's time to change.

It's time to start loving ourselves. For who we are RIGHT NOW. It's time to give appreciation to our bodies for being so wonderful to us- for allowing us to move, to think, to interact with others. It's time to ask your body for forgiveness for all the negative feelings you've had toward it. It's time to apologize.

So what have I been doing?

Since prior to reading "Zero Limits" by Dr. Joe Vitale, I've been saying four simple sentences- to God, to myself, and now, to my body. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I Love You." I've been peeling my own onion, so to speak, taking off the layers and the years of negative thoughts surrounding fat and food, the guilt and the shame. It's taking time. I'm not doing it overnight; there's a lot of layers there. A lot of predjudice and stereotypes. However, when I find myself feeling disgust for my body or seeing someone on the street, I immediately start playing the four sentences in my brain. Over and over. Because there's something I don't want to be, and that's the contributor to all the shame, guilt, and hate that surrounds obesity. But because I notice it, then I am somehow a contributor. It is now my problem, so I take responsibility. It's not the other person's fault that I feel disgust, it's mine. It's not my body's fault, it's mine. It's time to start loving. So that's what I'm doing.

I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.

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