What am I thinking?

Right now, the pressure is off. I have realized that I've been putting way too much stress on myself what with orals, the move, a rummage sale, the weather, lingering injuries, etc, AND added diet and exercise on top of that. So, earlier this week, I did some thinking, and part of that thinking led me to believe that I need to let go of some things. The biggest one being that I think I have to be perfect with my diet.

Let's face it. The more "perfect" I try to get with my diet, the more I start to sabotage in some way, shape or form. If I start playing with ratios, grams, attempting to increase protein, I find that I'm more likely to charge into the junk food, or I hit a "weekend" mentality thing. So I'm giving that up. I know how to eat healthy. I do it without thinking about it. I should, since I've been practicing it for years. So, I know that I need to just let it go, and allow my "habits" to take over these next few weeks. I am aware that I do not eat well enough to get to the bikini body. However, considering how hard my body has been fighting me to get there in the first place, I may just have to sit back and do a re-estimation (is that a word?). I look good in clothes. My hubby can't keep his hands off me (TMI?). My family is jealous. I can wear a size 8 jean. The only thing I don't have going for me is that I don't have that svelte, lean, bikini body I really want. That's it. Uno problemo.

So the question after that becomes, how do I want to approach that? Do I just want to say, "hack it- I'm settling into maintenance mode for the first time intentionally", or do I say, "wait until things settle down," or do I say "keep pushing through this"? I haven't decided that one yet. I do know that I've been passing up workout times to do other things. I haven't even been blogging regularly. My to-do list is longer than my arm. So, we'll see where this goes.

Not a good post for the others. I realize the FAT coalition is struggling right now, and I'm being just one more blog that isn't "hacking it". I'm just thinking that I really do need to take a break. I promised myself that one back in January, and it didn't happen. I've only stagnated since then, so I think that it may be what I need. I'll keep posting as long as I have internet access, so don't worry, I won't go nowhere!

Where's Carrie?

I'm here, I'm alive, although I'm not sure I'm too healthy right now. I've been working on a whole slew of things, and the crunch time is happening a lot quicker than I'd like. So, even though graduation was this weekend, I'm not done yet. I have an exam tomorrow night, and Orals (defense) are scheduled for May 16, which is also the day I should have most of my house packed up. I'm finishing up my job, and clients. I'm working on my book in little bitty pieces so I can have a re-release and cancel my subscription for Fitness Generator, which is a good little animated exercise generator, but not worth $37/month.

I've been fighting something off for the last couple of days, so no workout today. Decently healthy food today, although I'm trying to restrict cals a little more than usual because I really feel like I ate too much this last weekend- too much partying. A lot of it was junk food too, which my body really is not used to anymore.

If there's anything else it's going to have to wait until tomorrow. I'm going to bed.