Wednesday, May 7, 2008

What am I thinking?

Right now, the pressure is off. I have realized that I've been putting way too much stress on myself what with orals, the move, a rummage sale, the weather, lingering injuries, etc, AND added diet and exercise on top of that. So, earlier this week, I did some thinking, and part of that thinking led me to believe that I need to let go of some things. The biggest one being that I think I have to be perfect with my diet.

Let's face it. The more "perfect" I try to get with my diet, the more I start to sabotage in some way, shape or form. If I start playing with ratios, grams, attempting to increase protein, I find that I'm more likely to charge into the junk food, or I hit a "weekend" mentality thing. So I'm giving that up. I know how to eat healthy. I do it without thinking about it. I should, since I've been practicing it for years. So, I know that I need to just let it go, and allow my "habits" to take over these next few weeks. I am aware that I do not eat well enough to get to the bikini body. However, considering how hard my body has been fighting me to get there in the first place, I may just have to sit back and do a re-estimation (is that a word?). I look good in clothes. My hubby can't keep his hands off me (TMI?). My family is jealous. I can wear a size 8 jean. The only thing I don't have going for me is that I don't have that svelte, lean, bikini body I really want. That's it. Uno problemo.

So the question after that becomes, how do I want to approach that? Do I just want to say, "hack it- I'm settling into maintenance mode for the first time intentionally", or do I say, "wait until things settle down," or do I say "keep pushing through this"? I haven't decided that one yet. I do know that I've been passing up workout times to do other things. I haven't even been blogging regularly. My to-do list is longer than my arm. So, we'll see where this goes.

Not a good post for the others. I realize the FAT coalition is struggling right now, and I'm being just one more blog that isn't "hacking it". I'm just thinking that I really do need to take a break. I promised myself that one back in January, and it didn't happen. I've only stagnated since then, so I think that it may be what I need. I'll keep posting as long as I have internet access, so don't worry, I won't go nowhere!


Kristen said...

Carrie, I totally know what you are going through!!!!! I struggle with exactly the same things. You are not alone!!!

Rob Tucker said...

When I was doing well (not now, of course), I found that I did my best when I did the common sense approach.

You've been doing this for a long time - you know what foods are good for you, what foods are bad for you, and what a 'reasonable' serving is.

If you need to let go of the pressure of weights and balances, counting every aspect of the food - fall back and just eat what makes sense. If you can stay truthful to yourself, I bet this takes some of the pressure off.