THE AFTERBURN EFFECT

Decision in Poetry

2011-02-21T15:48:00.002-06:00

I wrote this last night, after a particularly long time (read: the ENTIRE DAY) of pure, utter doing absolutely nothing- I didn't even get dressed, let alone really get off the couch. Of course, I wanted to beat up on myself. Instead, I turned around and started writing.

Here's what came out:

The decisions of today were mine; I made them.
I chose the path I took.
The day is over, no going back;
So what is the point of looking down on myself?
Beating me up, for making that choice?
The choice was mine to make, and made it I did.
No by taking action, but by avoiding taking all action.
The choice of the path I do no wish to continue upon.
This choice is easy to make, but carries a heavy burden.
I wish for freedom-
This choice offers the easy fruit of seeming like freedom
But at the end of the day
When the "coulda, shoulda, woulda" starts
When changing that choice is too late
The burden lies heavy on my heart.
Why did I do that?
The choice of the easy fruit-
So tempting, but with such a bitter aftertaste.
Too late to change today's choice.
But perhaps I can learn, and remember this lesson for another day,
Another choice.
Pick the easy path?
Or choose Freedom's path?
The decision is mine to make.

Desperate

2011-01-30T22:02:00.004-06:00

Reflections on ending Day 7 of the 10-Day Sugar Challenge:

Dear God: If you help me get through this, I promise to be a really good girl. Really. I might even go and accomplish other goals. You just really need to help me through this. Amen.

The above has pretty much been my mantra for the past 7 days, and especially strong yesterday. I am really warped in this mind game, and have discovered just how much sugar I had allowed to sneak into my diet again. And/or I just wasn't focusing on eating the right things.

I have been focused on keeping the sugar out of my diet, and not at all focused on what I COULD eat. For instance, I just remembered tonight about the pile of bananas I have in my freezer, and how much I absolutely love blending them with a tablespoon or two of half&half and a 1/2 tbsp of cocoa powder (unsweetened). TONIGHT. 7 DAYS IN.

Obviously, I needed this intervention.

I'm not sure when/where the twist came to create this monster that I stared down this weekend, but boy, was he nasty- drooly fanged gangrenous creature. Unlike Luke killing the Rancor in Return of the Jedi (yep, I can make those references now, thanks to my hubby and daughter watching all of the movies again-and again-and-again), I'm not sure that I've done more than stunned him, tied him up with old cloths, and tossed him in the basement; but at least I've done that much. I did not let him get the best of me.

Oh sure, he took a couple good bites out of me- we made a chocolate cake on Friday night, my daughter and I, and frosted it on Saturday, and then I proceeded to serve everyone BUT myself no matter how much I drooled, whined, or cajoled myself. I thank Beck and her dream about how she wouldn't even allow herself a lick of ice cream with sprinkles, even though it was just a dream. If she hadn't told me that, I'm sure the monster would have swallowed me head-first. As it was, I've put the cake away- I won't tell you where, because then I'll remember.

The second bite he took out was the beautiful-looking ice cream shake my hubby had at lunch today- blueberry vanilla. I'm not going any farther with that, either.

Let's just say I was slightly cranky about that.

And that pretty much caps alot of my attitude toward the challenge. Cranky about all the stuff I can't have, without any focus on any of the goodies that I can have (and usually eat- that's the kicker!)

Time for that to change. What can I have?

1. Strawberry-vanilla smoothies/ strawberry-chocolate smoothies
2. Banana ice cream
3. Salmon
4. Cod
5. Pork chops
6. Veggies of any shape, size, or kind. As much as I darn well want.
7. Fruit.
8. Nuts/seeds
9. Oatmeal
10. Eggs
11. Veggies. More of 'em.
12. Fruit. More of that, too.
13. Other meats

I know this stuff. I teach it for a living. The key is to stop teaching and start doing.

I'll finish out this sugar challenge strong.

Two workouts by Wednesday night is my goal for exercise. Hold me to it. The knee is doing so much better, it's getting to a point where I can't use it as an excuse (for that's what it was) anymore.

ADDENDUM:

I had a discussion with myself in the shower this morning. It's called Wheat. That nasty stuff has also come back into my diet with a vengeance.

You may be thinking, "yeah, so? what's the big deal about that?"

Nothing, except that I discovered my body really doesn't like it.

It's never an immediate consequence when I eat wheat, hence the intolerance was actually tough to pin down until I kicked it out for a month last January (2010). When I eat wheat, I break out in acne (and the painful stuff, too- two or three or six of 'em), when I don't eat it, my skin is clear. When I eat wheat, I feel bloated, lethargic, and just not quite right. When I don't, all those feelings go away and I get "skinny-looking." It takes 1-2 days of eating wheat (heck, even 1-2 meals), and an entire week or so to recover.

Does that sound familiar?

So, I need to get the focus back to home base. What CAN I eat? How can I eat it? What can I do to substitute for those cravings I do get for ice cream, pizza, chocolate, and anything related to those three food items?

And what the f*ck can I do to get my workout momentum going again?

The sugar challenge

2011-01-24T21:51:00.003-06:00

Today was the first day of the 10-day no-sugar challenge that Beck and I are doing together.

I won't consider it a complete success, as I believe some hidden sugars probably slipped in. I will call it good though.

Breakfast:

-skipped due to sleeping in (whoops- daughter had turned off the sound on my iTouch and I forgot to turn it back on!)

Mid-morning meal:

-sunflower seeds- approx 1 oz

Lunch:

1 cup spaghetti (hidden sugar in sauce, most likely- I made it last night, and there's a lot of left overs, so I'll be eating it for lunch tomorrow and again on Wednesday- not much I can do about that unless i want it to go bad, which I don't want to do; we've got to use up what we have right now as we're at the end of our grocery budget)
2 cheddar biscuits (from Schwans- probably hidden sugar)

Mid-afternoon meal:

2 tbsp peanut butter on 2 slices homemade bread

Pre-dinner snack at 6:30 pm:

1 oz sunflower seeds

Dinner at 7:45 pm:

Spaghetti (again)
Bread (again)
Biscuit (again)

Not a whole lot of variety in today's food, nor any real vegetables. Or fruits. No reason, really, except for bad planning ahead. Also, about 4 meals more of wheat than I usually eat.

So, I know that the spaghetti's on the docket for lunch again tomorrow- although now that I look at that, I'm kinda spaghettied-out. I can certainly do an orange, some eggs, nuts, and broccoli with or during other meals. I've got cabbage too, and stir fry veggies, and some tuna, that I could throw together for lunch, and leave the spaghetti for another time. Using what I've got!

Workout:
20 minutes of snow shoveling and 10 minutes mobility. Part of me is judging that, saying I should do more. The rest of me says to go to bed immediately. Right now, I'm much more likely to go to bed. I could do a little more mobility work though- my back is sore...

Exhaustion but I'm Still Up

2011-01-23T22:45:00.002-06:00

Should have been in bed about an hour ago- woke up this morning with a strange dizziness and ringing in my ears that persisted through the mid-afternoon, was strangely fatigued, and not really feeling 100%- not sick, but not right, either. I figure I must be fighting something off.

Which means I should be in bed.

However, showing my ability to avoid the obvious, I'm here writing.

I've been thinking today about the concept of being a role model. It's come up because, as I so clearly pointed out to myself today, I've been aiming for the goal of 139 pounds for over 3 years now.

Either sh*t or get off the pot, as my mother would say.

I must say I'm rather happy at 150 lbs. I don't look bad. I feel good, quality of life isn't hindered, and my clients don't brush me off because I'm "so skinny they can't ever get to where I'm at."

However, and here's the kicker:

I really DO want to experience what it's like to have a very lean, muscular-looking body. Not a average joe, yeah-i-look-good-but-imagine-how-good-i-could-look-with-muscles-popping body. The "I can pop out 100 pushups without blinking" body, or basically, something that I don't have to worry about sucking anything in or being embarrassed in a swimsuit when I run into a client.

There's a standard that personal trainers are held up to by other personal trainers, and of course it's especially exaggerated for females- and I fail that standard miserably.

I am, quite honestly, NOT a good role model. I can't take my own advice that I'm giving out, most of the time.

And I need that to change.

Here's to taking my own advice.

Beck and I are starting a sugar-free 10-day challenge tomorrow (monday) morning. Here's to being a good role model and going sugar-free!

A Knee Story

2011-01-18T22:50:00.003-06:00

O.M.G. I actually had to LOOK UP the address to this blog when I was asked for it earlier today. That tells me something!

I'll stop ignoring it, really!

I currently feel a bit like I've been working to gain momentum on a ball that has corners- start, stop, start, stop.

Some background:
In September (pretty much right after I posted the last blog post), I dislocated my knee while doing some single leg squats. That tore my meniscus, which I didn't find out until mid-November when the tear got caught between two bones and pinched- HARD. And here I had just thought I strained a ligament or something.

So, after already babying the left knee for the fall months of Sept, Oct, and November (with reduced workouts and workout intensity as a result), I underwent knee surgery on December 6. I figured I'd be done with it and good as gold right after.

Not so much.

I spent a week on crutches, the next few weeks hobbling around and having extraordinarily limited ability to work out (as in, one workout a week pretty much did me in). January 7, I'd had enough and started Josh Hillis' 21-Day Kettlebell Challenge. Got through Day 1. Got through Day 2. By Day 3, my knee was stiff again. Grumble. Alright, so I took the hint and backed off again.

So, here I am now. I have decided that I'm going to go against every fiber in my being and quit doing the "all or nothing" approach. 3 days per week, no pressure to do more. The three days are not to be consecutive, at least for the first few weeks. Ice the knee every night and keep it up, but also listen to it. Don't push it just to show clients how to do an exercise. If I can't show it, and they don't know it, I'll change it to something they do know. Finally give my knee some real rest, since I've been trying to push it ever since the surgery.

On the positive, each week I can do a little more on it, which means it is making progress. I just, of course, want it all done with YESTERDAY.

Next Tuesday is 6 weeks since the surgery. Here's to being FULLY recovered by 10 weeks out.

My Reflections on a Cross Fit Summer

2010-09-17T20:02:00.004-05:00

Hello! I do still exist, despite the fact that I haven't touched this blog since June.

I've found that as I work hard on my business, getting everything done for it, AND take care of my family, that several things have fallen by the wayside. The first one is this blog. For some reason, I've been taking FOREVER to write things lately (as in 1 hour to write something that should take 15 minutes), which means it was the first to go!

However, here I sit on a Friday night, with a bit of spare time and the muse to write!

I'm incredibly motivated by seeing Brian, Beck, and Kevin back on the bandwagon, with quick dip-ins by Dave and RipX and even one by Billy. A good portion of the old FAT Coalition. I'm glad to see you guys still at it!

My clients are currently 12 days into the first 28 days of an 82 day contest that's being run through my business. It's called the LeanBody Transformation Contest, and it's separated into three stages, each lasting 28 days. Me being the trainer I am, I cannot design a program and expect my clients to go through it without doing it myself.

My compliance with the fitness portion is nowhere near what it should be, but it's definitely a good program! I haven't got a problem following the nutrition portion, as it's similar to the way I've been eating for quite a while now (minus carb cycling). Basically, a high-quality elimination diet: no wheat, dairy, sugar, or processed foods, but packaged in such a way that we're not focusing on what we don't have.

At any rate, first week results were pretty awesome. I'm excited to see what the rest of this month is going to produce.

However, what I truly wanted to write about were some reflections on doing Cross Fit this past summer. Scheduling prevented me from continuing beyond August, but it was fun while I did it! I certainly made some good progress fitness-wise, although I still am not anywhere near where I would like to be (more than 20 full-body push-ups in three minutes, please!). The workouts are, basically, brutal. They varied between doing olympic strength followed by short metabolic circuits or doing LONGASS metabolic-style circuits. And lots of running. Lots, and LOTS of running. And no, my running times haven't really improved. I will say short distances have gotten relatively easier.

The drawbacks to our Crossfit program revolved around two things: injuries and cooldowns. As in, one existed and the other didn't, and it wasn't in the order it should have been. Over the 4th of July, I managed to injure my shoulder pretty good and proper doing pull-ups, and then, three weeks later, up popped some plantar fascitis. Not cool. There were plenty of other people who were getting injured as well, so the program had some definite weaknesses there (the injury rate in my program is pretty much nil, if you'd like something to compare to). I know I injured my own shoulder- I thought I should be able to do better pull-ups than my body was truly ready for- but it was to "keep up," in a sense. In fact, I almost always felt like a fitness failure. THAT was interesting.

The second drawback was cool-downs. They RARELY had cool-downs incorporated into the program. Every so often, there was guided stretching, but not regularly.

The good parts of the Crossfit program were the awesome fitness improvements and the good muscle tone that developed as a result of the heavy lifting and intense workouts. I have amazing quads now, and I know they developed over the summer. I've also got some ab definition happening. I like that.

So in all, I liked the Crossfit program. However, I do believe there were areas they could improve, and probably should, to keep their reputation up. Being that I've never tried a workout in another "box," as they call their gyms, I have no idea whether this is common practice.

The Something That's Been Missing

2010-06-10T13:48:00.002-05:00

I've noticed something missing from a lot of my weight loss blogger friends recently (and no, I'm not talking about the lack of posts).

Strangely enough, it's love.

WHAAA?!

Yes. It is.

Yes, you may be feeling the love from others who are encouraging you.

But are you loving yourself?

Truly?

I posted this on my blog at CarrannmorFitness.com earlier:

When was the last time you said “I Love You” to your body?

Was it this morning?

Yesterday?

Sixteen years ago?

Ever?

How often do you say “I love you” to those closest to you? Probably pretty often. We do it because it’s one of the strongest emotions we have. Those three little words have power. They tie us together.

And if you love someone, it’s pretty rare for you to go knocking them around, either physically or verbally.

So why is it acceptable for us to verbally beat ourselves up? Listen to some of the things running around in your thoughts. Have you thought any of these recently?

“I hate my stomach and how it pooches out like that.”

“My arms are so jiggly, it’s gross.”

“Ugh, look at that fat under my chin.”

“I’ve really got to stop eating so much junk and just eat salads.”

“I don’t want to exercise, it’s boring.”

“Man, I hate my butt.”

If you are unable to say “I love you” to your body, or yourself, I can hazard a guess as to why you’re overweight, why you turn to food or too much tv for comfort, and why you hate moving around.

If you had just been physically beat up, would you be exercising and having fun?

It’s time to turn your thought patterns around. If you catch yourself with any of those above thoughts (or similar ones), stop, take a deep breath, and say to yourself, “I love you.” You can continue on with more affirmations, or you can keep repeating it.

I used to have a very deep-seated body hatred. I would stare at myself in the mirror and continually put myself down. It resulted in me sabatoging myself when it came to enjoying healthy foods, avoiding my workouts, and kept me from being happy. I was unable to appreciate how far I’d even come! All I could see was how far I had to go, and that it was taking me “forever” to get there. It wasn’t until I had gained 15 pounds and discovered the idea of loving myself that things truly started to turn around for me. I had a lot of work to do, but it was amazing how saying “I love you” to the person in the mirror was a healing, positive journey. It turned all my other thoughts around instantly. Suddenly, I was enjoying vegetables. Suddenly, I had no problems exercising. Suddenly, things became easy.

I still find myself doing the put downs on rare occasions, but now, when I catch myself, I turn it around. I look into my own eyes, take a deep breath, and say “I love you. I love you. I love you.” I will also continue with other sentences, such as:

I take absolute joy in eating high-quality foods that give me life and vitality.
Body, let’s work together to get rid of the toxins that we’re storing and find our best potential.
I love how my body can run, jump, and play.
I am absolutely amazed with how far I’ve come, and I look forward to the rest of this journey.

When you start saying “I love you” to yourself, it may feel rather crazy at first. In fact, you may be tempted to throw yourself in the crazy house. However, notice the emotions that well up inside as you say it while looking into your own eyes. Notice the release of burdens, the waterfall of unshed tears, and the forgiveness that appears. Notice how things that were challenging before start to become easy.

Once that happens, the weight will fall off. The fat will magically disappear from your body. You’ll start to gravitate toward foods that give you energy and vitality, ones that make you feel alive. You’ll want to move around in any way possible.

You will appreciate so many more things in life, and you’ll be able to enjoy it in harmony with your body, and not in spite of it.

Written by Carrie Moritz, CPT

http://tinyurl.com/25kyouz

The final Tally

2010-05-29T21:49:00.009-05:00

Well, here's the final tally as of this past Wednesday! I leave tomorrow for the cruise, so Bon Voyage!

Starting ---> Final
12/30/09-->5/26/10

Weight 161-->151.8 lbs
Bodyfat % 30.3% -->24.5% (-6%)
Right Arm 12.75" -->11.75" (-1")
Bra Strap 33" -->31.25" (-1.75")
Waist (at navel) 30.5" -->28.75" (-1.75")
Hips 37" -->34.25 (-2.75")
Glutes 41" -->39" (-2")
Right Thigh 23.75" -->22.5" (-1.25")

The reason for the newspaper behind me is that I also entered the "Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle" challenge, and it started this past week. I'm going all the way, baby! I've got 98 days and I'm attaining the holy grail for myself: 18% bodyfat. I've currently got 114 pounds of lean muscle mass, so I'm going to keep all focus off muscle-building (at least, intentional muscle-building- when you're doing Crossfit, the muscle's gonna happen). This means I've got a full 12 pounds of pure fat to melt off myself.

This means I enter "scary" territory. I'm currently at the same place I was at in May 2008 (give or take a percentage point). I have basically got to make sure I stay out of old cycles, habits, and pounce on those subconscious blocks right away.

The prize for the best body transformation is a trip to Maui. That'd be awesome: a trip to Baja to reward myself for where I'm at currently, and a trip to Maui to reward myself for going the final mile.

I'm so happy though! I realized today that I was wearing a tank top that I'd been wearing through the winter, and quite often, would have to pull it down because it was technically too small and it would creep up. I would unconsciously tug at it today, but I didn't actually need to! I also bought a new pair of shorts for the cruise: size 11 Juniors (keep in mind I've had a kid, and most Juniors' clothing has no room for a butt)! All the other shorts, except one, in my drawer are way too big.

Kevin put out a call to gather together the FAT Coalition again. Head to his blog and leave a comment if you're in. My blogging habits may not increase this summer, but remember, I'm in this with you!

Coming So Far

2010-05-23T22:08:00.002-05:00

If you didn't read my post earlier today, it's just below that one. It's a happy post.

Here begins the final week prior to the cruise. I have four no-carb days scheduled, I've had my cheat day, and I'm ready to take on this week and see what I can accomplish. If it's as bully as this last week, I should see something utterly amazing. Four days of Crossfit.

June 1, 2002, I had just turned 22, graduated from college, and was rather unhappy with myself. I should have been dancing on air: I had obtained my black belt in karate not two weeks prior, my undergraduate degree was resting on an unopened box in my own new apartment, and my life was beginning. I was ready to take on the world. But I wasn't happy. I was fat, out of shape, felt like I hadn't truly earned my black belt on the level of fitness, and generally wanted something to change. Everything else had changed in my life, why not this?

So, somewhere around that date, I walked into a gym, hired a personal trainer, and never looked back. Over the next year, I taught myself about nutrition (at least, what the Zone Diet looked like without any knowledge of vegetables), exercise (Body for Life, again, without any knowledge of vegetables), and learned that I actually LIKED regular exercise.

June 1, 2003, I was just about to get married, just learned I was pregnant, and was just about to go to Spain. I then commenced to have three months of morning/all day sickness and lost all motivation to eat right and exercise. When I started going back to the gym at month 5/6, I would get contractions during the workout, so that didn't last past month 7/8. I cried after having my baby, because all the weight I had worked so hard to get off in 2002/03 was back (and then some).

June 1, 2004, I was still reeling from the birth that happened in January, a stressful job, and knowledge that I REALLY didn't like not having a steady exercise program. During that summer, I again hired a personal trainer for accountability and dove in again.

June 1, 2005, I was finishing up my first year of a new degree, this time for graduate school. That degree took me four years (I had to take two years of undergrad prerequisites just to get into the program), but it led me in an entirely new direction. It's probably a good thing that I did have those two years, because they only cemented my desire to work in the health/fitness field. I truly was, at that point, no where NEAR ready to start training others.

Fast forward to June 1, 2010, and here I am: turning 30, working in the health and fitness field and happy as a clam about it. I've been observing my attitude quite a bit over the past few weeks/months, mostly because I saw myself entering an old cycle again, and I was ready to get out of it.

That cycle was one of becoming apathetic, of seeing others obtaining goals and myself falling behind. It was one of berating myself for not getting to where I was going. It was one of feeling like the spiral should be down, rather than up. I wasn't seeing where I had already gotten, and I wasn't appreciating that I was in that spot. That was very very very common for me. I wrote down and went through that past stuff, because I noticed how there wasn't much appreciation for how far I had come.

Go back to June 1, 2006. We were going to be moving in three short months to Volga, South Dakota, so I could be closer to the school where I was getting my degree. I don't recall what I weighed at that point. I was working out regularly (4-5 days/wk), eating decently, and while I was happy with my fitness level I still wanted to drop 20 pounds. I got my wish that fall, as I threw myself into Turbulence Training and new types of food/eating styles. Was I happy at that point?

Yes and no. Yes, because I knew I was thinner than I had ever been. No, because I still wasn't seeing what I thought I wanted to see: that bikini body. I still beat myself up almost daily for it. I would scrutinize myself in the mirror, and I wouldn't see any results that actually WERE happening.

Skip ahead to June 1, 2008. By that point, I had done what I could (so I thought). I thought, my body just isn't cut out for the bikini. But what was so magical about that? It allowed me to actually, finally, really start to accept myself for WHERE I WAS AT. I started to become HAPPY with my body. (Don't start to think it all became hunky dory after that- me/this story is way too complex for that.) It was so freeing, so wonderful, to know that I was okay. People didn't recognize me at my 10 year high school reunion. I truly was thin, regardless of the fact that I didn't believe I'd look any good in a bikini. I gained a bit of weight that summer, but was okay with it, as long as it didn't climb. I let go of a TON of pressure.

Unfortunately, a part of that letting go included the discipline I'd developed for eating healthy foods and decent portion sizes. So the weight did climb.

June 1, 2009: I was burned out from my job, but was just starting the busy part of it. I had stopped the weight gain back in January, but wasn't very happy with where I was at. I was still working on accepting myself JUST THE WAY I WAS. But again, that acceptance was huge. The more I started to accept it, the more I started taking steps in the right direction again. The big break came at the end of August, when they cut my position and I took off. Literally. Some wings that had been developing over the past few years, that had been getting groomed through the weight gain and subsequent stopping, came out and we took flight. How else can you explain how quickly I turned around?

In January 2010, I'd had enough of my clients getting great results while mine were minimal. I not only wanted to get back to the weight/size I had been prior to June 1, 2008, but wanted to see how far (and how quickly) I could go.

I still fought a lot of the same demons: discipline, mostly, but also motivation, whiny-ness, and general one-step-forward-two-steps-back types of mindsets. I was mostly sick of myself.

Sometime in April, two things happened: I encountered "What if UP?" style thinking, I got pissed at myself and told me off, and I realized that I really had made progress. Thank God I had taken pictures. The perfect storm, for me. I buckled back down nutritionally. I signed up for Crossfit. I got really, really happy with the results that had already come. And by that, I don't think there are words in English to describe how happy I was at those results. There were NO put-downs. There was no, "Oh,but I could do so much better=failure" type thinking. It just STOPPED. Really. I can't even describe it, and there's no way I could teach another person how to do that. You're gonna have to find your own perfect storm, I'm afraid. But the key here is just how HAPPY I got at this. I am HAPPY to carb cycle- it keeps my protein and veggies up, but I allow myself the non-nutritionally-viable options at least one/two days per week. I am, while not exactly happy at Crossfit (would you be? it's self torture, but on an upward spiral-type scale), finding that I was not pushing myself AT ALL in my workouts like I thought I was. I had that personal trainer effect again. Which is WHY I had joined Crossfit in the first place- the coach getting a coach to make me better.

So, being happy with what I had accomplished, being happy to follow the eating plan and workout plan, just created the cycle I needed. I am extremely happy, now, to say that the results over the past month have increased that happiness ten-fold. I haven't weighed myself too recently- two weeks ago the scale at the gym I teach at read 155 in the evening with my jeans on, and I haven't checked it since- but the measurements have decreased 1/2 to 1 full inch in most places over the last month.

I still have bulges. My stomach isn't flat. I'm not "cut." But, you know what? Who cares? I'M the one who has to live in this body, and I'M quite happy with what it looks like right now. Of course I still want to go further. I want to challenge myself. But that challenge isn't being looked at in a "Not cut=failure" sort of way. I won. I overcame myself the past five months. I finished my workouts on Thursday and Friday, dammit, and they were made to break me. I may have cried and hyperventilated for five minutes during Friday's workout, but you know what? I let it out, let it go, and got up and finished it. Because I COULD. Because I'm stronger than that. I HAVE WON.

And yes, I'm bringing my bikini to the cruise, and I will wear it. Because I know what I've done to earn it. It took me 8 years and many tears, but I've done it.

And I will ROCK that bikini by the end of August. That's a threat AND a promise.

I'm Bringing the Bikini

2010-05-23T14:08:00.001-05:00

I'll post pics later this week. And that's all I have to say about that.

Just in Case

2010-05-02T22:03:00.006-05:00

Just in case you were getting the impression (due to lack of posts) that I hadn't been up to anything, a comparison pic from Jan 1 to April 30.

The size 10's that were tight back in March are now loose around the waist. I put on my size 8 jeans last night, had to jump them up but they button (and create a muffin top in the process). I really REALLY hope my thighs and glutes start following the downward trend soon, since they're still what are fairly tight on many of my clothes.

I'm back to carb cycling, with two no carb days, one high carb, two low carb cycles. The workouts at Crossfit are absolutely rocking- not that I necessarily feel like I'm in shape AT ALL when I'm doing their workouts, but it's fun and I wish I could devote 5-6 days per week to it there. I'll just have to keep kicking my own butt on the off days.

Most of the reason I haven't been posting revolves mostly around my ability to obsess, to some degree, about how others are perceiving my journey. I needed to take that pressure off completely and just focus. Not over-analyze, but just to do.

I've got precisely one month left until my goal date. Bikini at that time? I can't guarantee anything, but I will tell you one thing: I will make every meal, every workout, and every day count. Some "What if UP" thinking, where instead of obsessing over whether I'll get to my goal, I obsess over how I would feel if I accomplished it: "What if it all goes right? What if every meal choice is a great one, and every workout rocks? What does that feel like?"

I'll tell you, it feels pretty great.

For some more info on "What if UP?" thinking, read this post from Joe Vitale: http://blog.mrfire.com/asking-right-questions/

And yes, my jaw hit the floor when I saw the pictures side by side. I'm glad I took them, and I'll take more later. I had known there was progress. I HADN'T known that it was that substantial. Keep in mind that the scale hasn't gone more than 7 pounds. I'm still above 150. However, I'm not using the scale much- I'm relying on pics, clothes, inches measurements, and the calipers also. That stuff's telling me where I'm going.

Fitness, Xfit Style

2010-04-19T13:18:00.002-05:00

Last Thursday, I joined our local Crossfit branch.

If you don't know what Crossfit is, then visit this website: http://www.crossfit.com. Basically, it's the grown up big brother to most of my training styles and philosophies.

I joined it for several reasons: the first, I absolutely love Crossfit workout styles, so when I noticed that there was a Xfit in town, I wanted to jump on it. Second, I knew I would learn a TON doing these workouts. Several new moves, ways to motivate, making sure MY form was perfect, etc. Third, I feel like I'm STILL working on getting my fitness levels back up to where they were almost two years ago. I wanted someone to push me, kick my butt, pick me up and tell me to keep going. I consistently apply that principle to the bootcamp classes I teach, and it allows people to increase fitness and results almost magically. It is something that is missed quite regularly when people are hemming and hawwing about whether they should get a personal trainer, join a bootcamp class, or do Crossfit.

So, as of this morning, I've done my third official Xfit workout. Damn. 1. I am SO much more out of shape than I'd care to be. 2. I've done more pull-ups in the past 8 days than I have ever done in my life. 3. I went from 18 mm on the calipers to 16 mm at the same time.

Yep, the calipers bumped back up to 18 about two weeks ago, and were pretty stubborn about staying there, so the fact that they dropped back to 16 in the course of 1 week was awesome (to give you something to compare to, most of my clients see 1 mm/week drops in the calipers).

Here's the real secret though: I worked out 6 days last week, 4 the week before, and the food, while not awesome, has been supportive. I intend to sit down and plan out some menus, because that's when the real magic occurs for me. And the chocolate sitting on the dishwasher is going into hiding.

Some great recipes:
Banana Awesomeness
1 scoop Prograde Protein Powder (because it's the awesome in taste)
1 frozen banana
1 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
8 oz water

Blend all together and enjoy. Alternatively you can put the blended awesomeness into the freezer for an hour or so and come out with ice cream.

Tacos Egg-strordinaire, Mexi-style
2 whole eggs, 2 egg whites
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp chili powder (alt: chili flakes)
1 tsp garlic powder (alt: minced garlic)
2 corn tortillas, warmed in wet paper towel in the microwave for 20-30 sec
1-2 tbsp cottage cheese
1/4 cup part-skim mozzarella cheese
1/4 cup salsa
opt: 1 tbsp taco sauce

Blend (whip) eggs, seasonings, and cottage cheese together and make as scrambled eggs. Warm tortillas. Place scrambled eggs on tortillas and garnish with salsa, cheese, and taco sauce. To add more veggies, cook an onion, peppers, or more salsa into the scrambled egg mixture. Enjoy!

A New Post

2010-03-09T13:51:00.002-06:00

Just realized it was February that I made my last post, and I figure I should get you a new one!

I'mma still pecking away at things. I had a hard last few weeks, doing some mental tug of war with myself, but that's done. I finished just shy of 2000 kettlebell swings as of last Thursday and managed to wonk out my shoulder, so I've been generally avoiding them completely. Which of course means that the 10,000 swings goal is pretty much out of reach now, but 5,000 still can be done with ease- and perhaps that could turn into 6 or 7,000? I do like the philosophy of just stopping for 5-7 minutes, doing some swings, and getting back to work, so I won't be giving up on them. I just don't like how my shoulder (read: traps/lats area by the shoulder blade on the right side, one that's given me problems since my daughter was born) acts up after doing 2 or 300 of them in a row.

Eating went postal for a while. Not really sure how long, as it was a 1-step forward, 2-steps back sort of thing, but I've got some things going down that have pinned it back in place. Gotta love the idea of rewards!

And boy do I have a big reward: for attaining my goals/turning 30/7th wedding anniversary we (my hubby and I) are going on a cruise! I'm truly looking forward to that, and that kind of goal is going to definitely keep me in line. It'll be paid for by April 1, so no backing out or down. The dates: May 31-June 4, in southern California. Yay! So, that goal picture I've got posted right down there? That's me. May 30, 2010.

Some Perspective

2010-02-25T09:32:00.009-06:00

A few days ago, I was (finally) unpacking our books and some decorative items. I came across and looked through a couple of old photo albums from college and my wedding, and it truly put a few things in perspective for me! No matter how hard I am on myself for not yet being bikini lean, the amount of progress I have made in my life is nothing short of astounding. To show you, I'm posting a few of those pictures. Which means, of course, that I need to post the most recent pics to give YOU the perspective. Enjoy.

I was just two days shy of twenty and at my heaviest.

On my wedding day, three years later. I had said "see ya" to about 20 pounds.

Three weeks ago vs. today.

Perspective is one thing, the final goal is another. That goal must be attained and I'm going to put 110% effort toward it. I may always have more "hippy-ness" than the goal picture below, but this is what I'm shooting for.

This was my goal for May 1, 2007. It stays the same until I attain it. For this one, it's amended to May 1, 2010.

One more week is gone, and there are results. I'm down to 155.5 lbs, my waist, hips, and bra line are down .25-.5 inches each, and my thermometer jeans fit (the ones I was working on getting back into) through the hips and mostly through the thigh. In fact, in the hips, the jeans are getting slightly loose. It's the butt and thigh area that really has been stubborn. And for some strange reason, my arms. Hey. I'll take what I can get though!

Me in my "thermometer" jeans- which now fit :D

Pics as of today, 2/25/10.

Getting the definition in the stomach and arm there?

600

2010-02-21T15:33:00.001-06:00

600 kettlebell swings down, 9,400 to go. *grin*

A Goal

2010-02-18T13:41:00.002-06:00

Well, the last week feels a bit like it was bupkiss. I didn't truly stay on track since last Thursday- although I wasn't completely off the wagon, it wasn't like I was giving it 100% either. A part of me was bored, sick of it. It wants to be back in those size 10 jeans NOW! (They are pretty much there, my 12's are too big, but my thighs need to shrink just a wee bit more before I feel comfortable wearing the current 10's hanging in my closet.)

However, it wasn't all a loss. Measurements were the same as last week, except for being down in the chest a half inch and up in the waist a half inch. However, getting back motivation NOW is key, otherwise I can tell I will definitely start moving up in direction rather than down.

So, what better way to do that than to create a fitness goal? Caroline Radway of KettleBelle Body passed on a note to me about a week ago that a 10K swings challenge was going on, and I was welcome to join. I hemmed and hawed, but yesterday, decided it was a go. The true rules are to complete 10,000 kettlebell swings in 30 days. However, Ash Wednesday was yesterday, and being the blasphemer that I am, I decided it was time to THANK God for His sacrifice by creating a "sacrifice" in a different manner. A challenge, rather than something that makes my all-too-human brain scream in defiance to do something that my conscious brain tells me is "wrong": for example, so many people "give up" fast food for Lent. It definitely worked for me four years ago. However, the way my brain is currently working, if I told myself that I couldn't have fast food for the next six weeks, I'd drive as fast as possible to the nearest MickyD's. So, I'm doing it differently. It's not a sacrifice as much as it is thanksgiving and adoration, since I am of the belief that we all have God in us (the abstract version of "made in His image") and are therefore of a Divine nature- and Divinity, truly, should be treated with the utmost respect. If you're not well-versed in the Christian religion, none of this whole paragraph probably made sense for you, but just know that I am not willing to "give up" something, but am willing to be thankful for what I do have.

So here's the long and short of it: I have a goal to complete 10,000 kettlebell swings by April 3, 2010. April 4 is Easter Sunday. Being that is 40 days from Ash Wednesday, I have 40 days to complete that task. I've got 200 done for today so far.

Now, to just concentrate on continuing the carb cycling, staying away from most wheat/gluten, and actually work out more than 3 times per week (which is what I'm currently averaging).

Happy Dance

2010-02-09T09:01:00.002-06:00

Checked my bodyfat percentage again last night, just to be a total pain for myself (just kidding! I was curious). I had noticed that over the weekend, my belly was showing nearly-forgotten signs of a fat drop-off, which means it was looking bigger than usual, extra jiggly, and just not quite right. By last night, the look had disappeared, so I checked, and yep! It's amazing what can happen overnight for me (literally) if I'm just patient enough and keep working my mojo ;). I went from last Thursday's bodyfat measurement of 18 mm (27% bf) to 16 mm (26% bf).

Oh yeah, happy dance. Or big goofy grin.

I have one more millimeter to go before I'm out of the overweight and into normal, and 7% points more to go (which is 8 more mm) before I see the real amazing results that I'm looking for.

In other news, eating has been fab the last few days- fun stuff here and there (actually, I ate way too much on Friday night and a bunch of cookie dough on Saturday, but those seemed to boost morale and help me retrain my focus more than anything, since my body did not respond favorably). Workouts: had one Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Monday (yesterday). Plan to do today's very shortly.

Still keeping to the non-wheat/gluten type foods and low milk intake (except for cottage cheese and yogurt with the occasional cheddar), and still carb cycling. Yesterday was a no carb day. Today's a high carb, which means I get to make sure all the nutrients I missed yesterday get thrown in. Cravings hit a lot yesterday, and for the most random stuff, too. I realized that I had forgotten to take my multivitamin (Prograde's VGF-25) for the last several days, so that probably explains it.

Very, VERY Quick

2010-02-05T15:44:00.002-06:00

Okay, gotta write and run, literally. I managed to snag an hour of free time today, which is absolutely heavenly. I've been utterly swamped this last week!

So real quick:
*deep breath in* I re-introduced small amounts of wheat into my diet last weekend and immediately kicked it back out because my skin broke out into acne right away, my cold came back with a vengeance, and I felt like crap. I did way too much overeating also, which didn't help things, however, I got back under control by Tuesday and have been peachy since. Measurements that I didn't think would move went down another half inch in places such as my arms (first time they've moved yay!). I did an amazing workout on Tuesday and had another decent one on Wednesday, and am no longer sore from Tuesday's workout. I intend to go do another one as soon as this one's written. Here comes another weekend but I'm back to being strong on the diet and mindset so I'm not worried. *sucking breath back in*

So, crazy but not terrible!

This Amazing Soup

2010-01-28T13:20:00.003-06:00

So, about two weeks ago when I was plowing through my Gourmet Nutrition and Eating for Life cookbooks for ways to revamp my eating, I came across this recipe for Pea Soup. Now, having tried a really good, fresh pea soup once before in my life, I knew that if it is made right then pea soup is awesome. So I tried the Gourmet Nutrition version, and fell utterly in love with it. It's quick and easy after the first time you make it, so long as you have some chicken thawed (and even if you don't, it's a great non-protein-ated main or side dish). Mmm. I drool thinking about it. Well, the reason I talk about it right now is because it's cold outside, and I'm fighting a cold right now. And, well, I don't have any peas left, but I did have a few green beans, an onion, some leftover vegetable broth, pepper, and cumin. I threw them together, and basically, I've just eaten a whole onion. It took literally less than 20 minutes. I had two scrambled eggs (scrambled with cottage cheese rather than milk) with it for protein. The cumin and pepper were nice for the sinus stuff. I'm on a no carb day, so this soup was pretty much perfect. Snack was a banana nut bar (Gourmet Nutrition recipe, made with mostly walnut meal-carbs are not negligible, but under 15 grams per bar) and breakfast was eggs with cottage cheese.

I don't know if I'll do a workout today. This isn't one of those colds where you're stuffed up and foggy but still able to operate, this is one that is leaving my throat feeling like it's gone through a meat grinder and my lungs feeling like I'm not getting enough oxygen. Ew. Yesterday's workout was a wash, because by the time I had time for it, I was feeling like this. Tuesday's workout happened and was great.

So, today marks exactly 4 weeks since I started this part of my journey. It's time to look back, measure things out, and re-set course, if necessary. It's actually a bit amazing to me how quickly these four weeks have gone.

Food is STILL mostly hit, but not at 90-100% compliance. I'm eating tons better than I was only four weeks ago, to be completely honest. If I'm looking at myself on the continuum, I went from blue on the left side of middle to being on the right side and fairly high up there, but not yet in the red-hot-streaming portion. More like orange-turning-to-red. And results have shown that (there, but not as high as I'd like them to be).

I'm a lot better off- my skin cleared up (no more breakouts, and I was starting to feel like a teenager again with those), my outlook on life improved, my workouts improved, and my clothes are fitting or starting to fit again. Official weight 162 down to 157 lb, bodyfat percentage from 29% down to 26%, BMI from Overweight to Normal, waist down from 33 to 30 inches. Not bad for four weeks, if you ask me. This month may not have been the month where I fit into those 10's, but honestly, did I believe I would do that anyway? That would be a lot to expect from 4 weeks. Expect it I did, in order to push myself out of the lazy state I felt I was in and into a place where I felt really challenged. So, knowing what I did this four weeks, I believe I can kick everything up a notch for February. This is where the re-set course comes in. I averaged about 3-4 hard workouts per week. Not bad, but not where I want to be. So, the minimum goal becomes 5 workouts per week, shoot-for-the-stars goal becomes 6 times per week, 2x per day at least 2 times per week. I do that last part to really challenge myself and get my ass into gear, rather than creating an attitude of defeatism. I tend to expect a lot from myself.

As for nutrition, I'm going to continue with the carb cycling and refine it as much as possible. I'm starting to get some real cravings for wheat-containing foods, but I'm going to continue to stay away from them (that and it mostly happens on no-carb days). I think doing that may have been a rather large part of my success this past month, along with the reduction in calories that comes from really kicking the veggies in. I may need to allow myself a change in plans for March (*ahem*-cereal, please!), but we'll see.

I generally tell clients that the first four weeks are the hardest. That's where you're learning new habits, junking old ones, feeling completely out of whack and out of your comfort zone. So, the feeling of knocking myself against a brick wall should be diminishing. It better be.

So, anyway, here are the measurements:
Weight: 157
Bodyfat: 18 mm
R. Arm: 12.5
Bra: 32.5
Waist: 30
Hips: 40.75
Glutes: 36.5
R. Thigh: 23.5

The clicker (bodyfat caliper) gyrated between 16 mm and 22 mm today, first time I've seen 16 mm! The most regular number I got was 18 mm, so that's what I took. The only number in measurements that changed was waist. That takes me down 3 inches in the last four weeks. At my smallest waist size, I was at 28 inches. That gives me another 2 inches to go. The most interesting thing is, when I look at my measurements from that point, there really wasn't much difference. An inch and a half in the thigh, 3/4 inch in the arm. It was the hips where there was the most difference: 5 inches! So that means I just need to really get my butt in gear (literally).

So, there's the wrap-up of Month One, and the outlook for Month Two, both realistic and out of this world. February, here I come!

NC Day Two

2010-01-25T23:05:00.002-06:00

Well, today was my second No Carb day in the cycling, and I must say, I'm not overfond of these days. Ah well, it keeps me from attacking the leftover birthday cake.

My daughter's b-day was on Saturday, and the pizza and birthday cake were planned in. It was amazing how quickly I became uber-full after eating those things. I did eat supper, but I wasn't terribly hungry even at 7 pm, and the cake was finished by 2:45. High carb day still ended up being more of a cheat day than anything, as supper consisted of one fast food burger on white bun (still avoiding wheat like a plague, and have been rather successful, except for Saturday).

Yesterday was a low-carb day, and there was not even a hint of a schedule that I followed- didn't get up until 10 am, ate breakfast at 11, then didn't eat again until 3 pm- when I was famished. Had a piece of chocolate leftover birthday cake with plenty of chocolate frosting. Whoops. There's a reason why I generally eat 5 times a day. Supper was back on track with a chicken and bok choy number, then an evening "dessert" of Gourmet Nutrition's Pumpkin Pie bar.

Today was a no-carb day, as I stated before. Missed morning snack, but had a handful of almonds as the fifth meal after supper. Breakfast was 2 eggs, lunch was spaghetti squash spaghetti, snack was celery sticks with 3 tbsp peanut butter, supper was Tuna "noodle" casserole (with spaghetti squash- a bit higher in carbs than was probably kosher, but still a good meal overall- had celery, a bit of carrot, and green beans with a mixture of cream of mushroom and cream of celery soup- two cans for 8-10 servings). Dessert with supper was a bar of Gourmet Nutrition's Banana Nut squares with a tbsp of Nutella.

Workouts: none until today. Today's was a 40-minute affair with a 5-exercise metabolic circuit, followed by 8 minutes of Tabatas (20 sec work, 10 sec rest, rinse and repeat). Yeah, I know. I've officially missed three. Well- nothing for it but to move forward and do tomorrow's.

Today's Post.

2010-01-22T13:04:00.003-06:00

Creative Title, eh? I couldn't think of anything today!

So, yesterday served to be a nice kick in the pants. I got a great workout in, I followed the meal plan (with tweaks, but I always tweak- just so long as I'm still following the actual goal- for instance, supper was going to be Tuna on Rye Krisps, but when I got home, I just wanted something warm, so I had a cottage cheese omelet instead).

Today I'm going "no carb," which pretty much translates to keeping full servings of fruit, starchy items, or carbohydrate-dense foods out. Green leafies are still full game, as are green beans, raw carrots, broccoli (basically any fiber-rich vegetable, usually green in color but not always). I also found a great website that let me understand how to carb cycle (you'd think I'd have gotten it before- well, I did, but not really. Most resources go into such detail and depth that you get lost before you even get started, and by lost, I mean in numbers. Other resources provide no detail at all, and basically say "if it had a face or came from something with a face-meat, fish, eggs- and if it's green, eat it on no-carb days." Well, that's nice. However, here's the website. http://www.gotstrengthblog.com/?page_id=161 A perfect resource for me, or perhaps I was finally just in the right place to understand what I was being told. I pulled up FitDay, figured out a few numbers, and Whallah! I've pretty much got my menu for next week planned out. Crazy. It was most helpful in figuring out high carb days, because my brain of course wanted to translate them into all out binge-fest. Hehe. So its figured out.

Then, here's the biggest surprise of all: yesterday probably just served to kick me in the pants, dig my heels back in, and keep going harder. That's great! I am now figuring that if I'd had high results, I might have gotten complacent. Well, I'm not measuring again today, but here's the thing: my belt automatically switched to the next notch this morning. I mean, I totally belted up my pants, and noticed that the "dangly side" was longer-wtf?-checked, and I was on a brand new notch. Yeah! So, that prompted me to pull out my "thermometer" pants- the one's I've been using as motivation, they're my largest size 10's that I abandoned fall 2008- and they felt much, much better. Still not wearable, but thisclose. So something has definitely happened.

This, my friends, is why I'm using 6 different methods of measurement. My pics are showing a reduction in back fat but not much else, the tape measure and calipers are all over the map, the scale is a pussy, and the thermometer jeans may just fit by the end of January! So, if one thing goes up (ie the scale) but something else goes down (ie the jeans fitting), then it's a win in my opinion.

So, continuing to buckle down. Food so far today:
2 eggs, scrambled
1 smoothie with 2 scoops protein powder and 1/8 cup berries
1 turkey burger with 3 cups lettuce and 1/2 cup cottage cheese

I'm off to get a couple of cats from the vet (I follow Bob Barker's advice), then a workout, then whatever's next. Oh yea, Up-Chuck E Cheeses. Ew. I believe I'd better pack my salad.

Oy.

2010-01-21T11:18:00.002-06:00

Well, measurements were taken today. And they stalemated. Yuck. They were either back up to 1/7 levels or the same as 1/14. I'm about ready to throw the BF calipers in the trash, as I can measure myself 4 times and get four different readings. Strange how they work fine when I'm measuring clients, but for me they are onery. Scale was back to 160.

So, I'm buckling back down on the diet- little things, here and there, that may have been sneaking in some calories and are unaccounted for. Here's the interesting part: tomorrow is daughter's 6th birthday, and I know where she's going for supper (Chuck E Cheeses). I probably won't have much problem avoiding that food, as I've heard it's awful, and tomorrow's supposed to be a no carb day. I'm going to vamp the menu and see if I can't lower the carbs just a tish more, eat twice in the afternoon (2 pm and 5 pm works great, supper won't be until 7:30) and perhaps bring a large salad to the arcade.

How strange: usually, I have no problem getting workouts in. The problem generally lies with the food, the little sneaks and portion increases, the cheat meals, missing snack meals. Even if grabbing a veggie and meat is intuitive for me, there's still the little things. This time around, the food is doing okay (not great, I need to pick that up yet), and the workouts are being a beast. I've done ONE workout this week. Yep, read that: ONE. It's Thursday, for crying out loud! I should have three done at least, if not four!

Okay. Rant over. Time to stop whining and just DO. Those results are going to be absolutely beautiful next week Thursday. Meal compliance will be 90% or better (that means NO skipping). The workouts will be performed, and then some. By next Thursday morning, I will have completed 7 workouts and eaten 33 perfect meals.

7 workouts, including today's. 33 perfect meals, including today's. Hold me to that.

Typing and eating: Does it Work?

2010-01-19T20:47:00.002-06:00

I'm attempting to type this post at the same time as eat my supper. Well, actually, I'm typing it over the remains of my supper. If you must know, it was a chicken taco salad with romaine and spinach, and extremely good. Today was a no-carb day, and I was surprisingly good at making sure I ate enough. Everything was quite yummy too, although I'm not too sure I want to repeat the Turkey BLT I had at lunch (it was okay, just not great).

Here was my menu today:
Breakfast: cheesy omelet (1/4 cup cottage cheese with eggs, scrambled, with spinach and 1/4 cup shredded cheddar). Cheddar probably wasn't supposed to be on the menu, now that I think about it. Hmm. It was still really good!
Lunch: Turkey BLT (except mine was more like BLB, bacon, lettuce, broccoli).
Snack 1: (2:00 pm) Protein shake, vanilla with 1/4 cup pumpkin seeds and pumpkin pie seasoning
Snack 2: (5:00 pm) Peanut Butter bars
Supper: (8:30 pm) Chicken taco salad

Workout: Was AMAZING today. I dunno why, but I've been rather un-motivated about the workouts I designed for this month. At any rate, I did it, not only the required 4 times through, but 5 total, THEN did 8 minutes of Tabatas (20-10 work-rest) with burpees and jumping jacks, THEN did 15 minutes of fun stuff afterward on the Wii. Avoiding dishes is a really good motivator, apparently. Yeah.

Part of this is because yesterday, well, yesterday was eh. I followed the menu for breakfast, lunch, and one snack, keeping it low-carb, but supper was a falling point. I have been extremely well-trained as to turning down food, and ended up eating goulash, lettuce, and a slice of apple crisp with ice cream. The apple crisp was Grandma-made and served. I'm not feeling guilty about it, but rather I'm disappointed. I have a goal, I've set a challenge, and I've been doing quite well at staying on the path. I do still have some old habits that need to be broken.

At any rate, results are still coming along, the scale was down again this morning, even if not by a lot, I'm now officially back in the 150's. Technically. Woot! We'll have to see by Thursday, and next week Thursday, what this carb-cycling does for me. It's already January 19, which gives me 12 days until the end of this month. The goal was 150. Considering that may have been a bit overreaching, I still have a chance to hit it, as long as I keep on track. Besides, I set this up to be a 6-month challenge for a reason- I know that I can't control exactly how much I weigh or how fast my body lets go of the fat, but I can control what actions I take to get there. That being said, I needed some short-term, high-reaching goals that challenged me and kept me going.

Tomorrow's a high-carb day. I'm looking forward to oatmeal, and I'm wondering if I have rice on the menu. Or potatoes. Amazing what one looks forward to :)

Menu status

2010-01-16T23:06:00.002-06:00

Menu for the week done. Has alternating days of high carb, low carb, and no carb, just to f&*k with my system a little bit more. The menu looks pretty good, with perhaps more food on it than last week. So I should be staving off the hunger/low energy stuff. Worked on the damn menu all day, just finished it now. I had some major mental blockage that needed to be worked through regarding that, because once I broke through it, the menu was planned pretty quickly. Prior to that though... let's just say, I'm glad I worked through it.

Fun workout done: Morgan and I built a snow fort (called a quinzee) for an hour and a half. SO much fun. It involved shoveling plenty of snow into a big pile, then army crawling in and out of a hole digging snow the whole time.

Main workout: not done.

Well, that's done...

2010-01-16T14:58:00.002-06:00

Had an entire day yesterday of high-quality... junk food. Two reasons: one, I didn't have my menu planned for that day, and two, I was low on calories enough to the point where I could have ravaged a horse. I'm obviously over that now.

I don't feel guilty, and I'm not looking to do that. I'm doing the meal plans for this coming week right now, and I'm going to make sure I plan for the needed calorie surge every couple of days. The other days, I'm going meat and veggies only. This was the original plan for this month, but I've been trying to pile too many days in a row without high calories. I also haven't been hitting 90% compliance- from Saturday to Thursday, I had 30 meals scheduled. Of those 30, I hit 24 spot-on. That's 80% compliance. If I add Friday to that, it drops to 70%. Looking at the positive, I've been obtaining extremely good results despite that, so hey- cool! On the other hand, I'm working toward the 90% compliance so my results can skyrocket.

So, Saturday Jan 16 through Friday, Jan 22 goals: keep wheat out, hit 90% compliance on meal plan, have a high-calorie day every two days.

And then the workout compliance: I worked out on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Did a fun workout on Wednesday. The plan is 5 workouts per week, and 3 fun workouts, so I need to keep up on that compliance too. The reason I could tell I was too low on calories was actually due to the workouts, as I had almost no energy for it on Thursday. However, I got four out of five main workouts, and if I do it today, then I've got 5 out of 5. If I do a fun workout, I'll have two out of three. Which means I need to get my butt in gear after I get the meals planned!

Yesh!

2010-01-14T09:12:00.004-06:00

Two weeks down, Two to go this month!

Did my measurements this morning, and they are looking awesome! Here's the rundown so far:

12/30-->1/7-->1/14
23.75--23.5--23.25 R. Thigh (down .5 total)
41--40.75--40.25 Gluteus (down .75 total)
37--37--36.5 Hips (down .5 total)
30.5--30.5--30 Waist (down .5 total)
33--33--32.75 Chest (down .25 total)
12.75--12.75--12.5 R. Arm (down .25 total)
161--162--160 Weight (lbs) (down 2 lb total)
22--21--20 (bodyfat mm) (down 2 mm total)

Last week's results, while they did move down slightly, were rather disappointing. However, I kicked that nutrition into full gear this week, and you can see what only 7 days did. I was weighing 160 by this past Monday, and I noticed the change in the waist Tuesday. My belt isn't quite ready to move down a notch yet, but it's gotten loose. I'm taking week 2 pics tomorrow, as hubby isn't home to snap them. I'm using them as a push-force and motivation, even if I'm not sharing them here yet. The ones of my backside are esp. scary!

Did a normal workout and a fun workout yesterday. The fun workout was great, as I played outside with my daughter, pulling her on a sled through calf-deep snow, up and down the street, and climbed up and down a snow pile. Then we went in the house and played 2-P run on the Wii Fit. There's a reason why I scheduled the fun workouts- I have a lot of fun doing them, but unfortunately, I've got to be intentional about it.

So, on Tuesday, I had said I was going to workout? That didn't happen. Oh well. I have been staying on track food-wise, although it has been difficult these last couple of mornings, as I want my cereal! I've kept to the oatmeal. The point is to just do it, and not think about it. Once the eating has finished, the cravings are not so bad. I'll continue to stay away from it for the time being and cook pannokoekens if I really need something other than oatmeal. Omelets work too. The thing is that the oatmeal is just fast.

Last night, I cooked turkey burgers (bunless for me) and we had them with green beans and a couple of carrots. YUM. Here's what we did for the turkey burgers:
1 lb turkey
1 tbs EVOO
1-2 tsp each of black pepper, cumin, basil, and Morton's Nature's Seasoning Salt

Heat up a large pan (or George Foreman). While heating, mix turkey with EVOO and spices. Form into burgers and place in hot pan. Fry until cooked through, but still juicy. Cheese can be added to increase flavor or create a cheeseburger.

Yeah, I know. Simple. But that's how turkey burgers are made without egg whites!

Sorry 'bout that!

2010-01-12T14:56:00.004-06:00

Completely forgot to post yesterday and Sunday. Quick wrap-up of those days:

Sunday: My body was re-introduced to pizza, and rejected it out of hand (planned cheat meal). Very interesting. Only three meals that day, but the other two were pannokoeken w/ berries and chicken w/ spinach. I cooked for three hours in the evening, staying up way too late but making sure my meals for the week were basically taken care of. Note to self: please,please,please make the pea soup from Gourmet Nutrition again!

Monday: Slightly varied the menu but all choices were high-quality, wholesome foods (except breakfast- which goes to show that lack of sleep leads to poor meal choices!). Five meals, and supper was the winner: I had made a meatloaf, and my family showed up and shared in it (yum! Check out the Eating for Life version sometime, it's to die for). My mother made peas, mashed potatoes, and garlic bread to go with the meatloaf. I was trying for a low-starch meal, and the meatloaf has oatmeal in it, so I didn't have the potatoes. Stayed away from the bread and didn't miss it, either. Workout was completed, and it was tough! I didn't realize it was a 50-10 until I'd completed my first round at 30-5, but I switched gears and completed three more rounds at 50-10 (50 seconds work followed by 10 seconds rest and transition).

Today: Slept amazingly last night! Except for the fact that I woke up three times convinced that the night was over, I feel quite rested today. Meal choices have been spot-on and following the menu. Haven't done my workout yet today, although I intend to do it tonight along with a fun workout afterward (fun workouts involve running around with my daughter, playing games on the Wii, going swimming, basically any kind of movement that lasts 30+ minutes and is mostly continuous but isn't terribly taxing).

Best-laid plans...

2010-01-09T11:55:00.002-06:00

Well, you know what they always say about the best-laid plans: get out of the way, cause someone's going to roll over them.

My grandfather had quintiple bypass surgery yesterday morning.

I knew about the surgery, and knew he's otherwise a pretty strong guy (and very strong-willed), so I figured he'd be fine.

'Round about the exact same time I was heading toward the gym, I received a phone call that said he was going back into surgery because he was bleeding. My family needed me emotionally, so I spent the rest of my non-working hours at the hospital, just giving support and a way for people to keep their minds off everything.

I haven't heard any news yet this morning, but I'm taking the "no news is good news" standpoint.

So, the workout was successfully avoided ;) JK! I was upset that I didn't get to it; had I known, I would have made sure it was done early morning. The food choices yesterday weren't bad- I didn't eat much at all, unfortunately, but the food I did eat was healthy. Even at Culvers (chili and side salad, except for the ice cream my dad bought all of us). Here were my three squares yesterday: Pannokoeken, Grilled Chicken sub w/ lettuce & onions (noonish), then Culvers (at approx 9 pm).

Today's intake is currently at a bowl of oatmeal and one apple. Lunch will be a spaghetti squash spaghetti (no noodles for me), snack will be one of the Gourmet Nutrition recipes (from Precision Nutrition) that I make, and dinner is Chicken w/ spinach and roasted garlic. Today's workout is currently finished. I intend to do a fun workout later this afternoon (cleaning the bathroom doesn't count, but I will also be doing that). The meals are planned for today through Thursday, the groceries are bought, and I'm ready to get cooking!

Whoop, Sorry!

2010-01-08T10:32:00.003-06:00

Forgot to post yesterday. It was a snow day, so it made things quite interesting!

No workout. No excuse, either, except that my workout area in my house is also called our living room, and that is quite occupied by the rest of my family, who are either on the Wii, watching a movie, or playing. I want to get a space set up in our basement for it but that hasn't happened yet.

Food was fine, I had made a healthy version of corn chowder in the crockpot the night before with our limited reserves of veggies, and we pretty much lived off that. The cookies and chocolate started calling my name at one point- I had one chocolate truffle (approx 70 cals), then stayed away. See? No deprivation, no guilty feelings, but can stay in moderation. I'm still keeping wheat to an absolute minimum, although dairy hasn't really left yet. I never really have had much of it anyway, so I'm not too worried. What I am worried about is how lacking my veggie intake is. I really want to be up to 7-10 servings per day, and I'm lucky if I'm getting 4. So it's what I 'm going to keep working on.

Snow day again today, but it's mostly due to the wind chill and the fact that the snow plows need a chance to catch up from yesterday's blowing stuff that made plowing nearly impossible. So we intend to get out of the house- I'm going to work out at the gym, and we're going to go grocery shopping. Plus I'll work. I had to cancel my classes yesterday, which was a big bummer for me (and I guess my members, too ;).

Breakfast was awesome this morning: I made an oat flour version of my famous pannokoeken, and it worked great!

Here's the recipe: (serves 1)
2 whole eggs, 2 egg whites
1 cup milk
1/4 cup oat flour (put a heaping 1/4 cup oats into a blender and press mince/grate for about 1 minute, and whallah! oat flour)
1/8 tsp salt

Place a small pan on med-high heat. Mix eggs, milk, and salt with a whisk until well mixed. Slowly stir in oat flour. Use a spray to lightly coat the pan, then pour in a small amount of the mixture (to your preferred thickness). Lift pan off burner if it starts to smoke, or cook too quickly. Flip when the top is slightly hardened. Repeat until mixture is gone. You'll need to continually stir the mixture before pouring it, as the flour tends to sink to the bottom.

Basically, they end up looking like crepes, but they're naturally sweet, so no maple syrup or sugar is needed. If you want a topping, frozen or fresh fruits work great.

A Little Something

2010-01-06T21:47:00.002-06:00

Here's something I wrote for my bootcamp members earlier today and decided to share with you, too:

If you really want to jumpstart weight loss, following the foods sheet I gave you is absolutely critical (as is planning ahead and logging what you eat). Here's another option to kickstart the weight loss, but requires planning so you don't dive for the potato chips at first chance: challenge yourself to ONLY eat fish/meat, vegetables, and fruit with limited amounts of dairy and wheat. If your eating isn't very good to begin with, I suggest working your way up the continuum first, otherwise, you might find that you have a reaction very similar to a drug addiction when you start eating this way. Why? Because many of us actually ARE addicted! We're addicted to processed carbs, salt, caffeine, and/or all of the above. Going cold turkey works for many, as once the first three days are over, the cravings disappear and the energy levels soar. However, for some of us (myself included), cold turkey means that we last two days (or even only one) before the first junk that comes our way finds itself in the mouth. So, work towards it, but don't see it as an end-all-be-all!

Nutrition in order of priority:
1) Logging what you are eating
If you don't log what you eat, you'll never know how much you actually ARE eating. Most people underestimate their calories by 100-700 calories PER DAY. So write it down. It's especially important if you have a day where you felt your nutrition was less than stellar. Also, be honest. When you lie on the paper, you're only lying to your conscious brain. That's no good for you, and can only make you depressed. If you log what you eat, you are accountable. That's usually enough for a lot of people to stop and think about what they're actually putting in their mouth.

2) Planning what you will eat
If you plan ahead and write it down, you can go on autopilot. We all know how easy autopilot is, since we follow autopilot most of our days! Don't let analysis by paralysis happen. Just plan out what you would normally eat, then find two or more areas where you can "tweak" the nutrition up a notch. You already eat every day, so obviously there is a plan or routine you follow.

3) Eating more vegetables
Eating fruit is easy. While most of us don't eat enough of it, it's really the vegetables that are the major players in the game (and also the most ignored). Work toward getting more than 5 servings of vegetables per day. And yes, you really can eat more than one or two servings of vegetables in one meal, it's okay! I cannot reiterate the importance of these foods enough. Hungry? Reach for carrots, lettuce, spinach, celery, cucumbers, tomatoes, and more- they'll satisfy the appetite, add fiber and water to your diet, and give you a dose of nutrition that your body is actually looking for (your body isn't just looking for calories- it's looking for vitamins and minerals, too!).

4) Drink your water
Go ahead, drink it now. I'll wait. The more water you drink in a day, the better you will feel, I promise. Try not to gulp it all down at once- small portions is better. If you have a habit of drinking 20 oz once every two hours, your body doesn't use it as well as it does if you drink 4-6 oz every half hour. However, the important thing is to just get it in. Hydration equals higher energy, better workouts, more utilization of nutrients (food digests easier and better), and appetite depression (not as hungry! Yay!) Get a bare MINIMUM of 64 ounces (2 liters, or 8- 8 oz. glasses) per day, and shoot for an ideal 80-100 ounces.

5) Eat the fruit
Just because I put vegetables higher on the priority list does NOT mean I want you to ignore the powerful fruit. This stuff is nutrient-dense, full of fiber, good sugars (energy! and sweetness!), very portable (grab and go), and tastes wonderful. I want you to focus on vegetables because they tend to have more bulk for less calories, but fruit is the next best thing.

6) Eat protein
The bare MINIMUM of protein you should be eating a day is 65 grams (a 3 oz chicken breast is 21 grams). This minimum is set up for people who are sedentary, and you are not. Protein contains amino acids, which happen to be the building blocks of our muscles. You want muscle? Eat protein and lift weights (or do exercises similar to the ones we do in bootcamp). It's also a wonderful appetite suppressant, meaning if you eat protein, you'll eat fewer calories than you would if you ate carbohydrates. This is part of the reason why low-carb diets work. However, I advocate that you have your carbs in the form of veggies and fruit, so I don't advocate a low-carb diet. How much protein should you be eating? For women, I recommend approximately 90-125 grams per day. For men, I recommend 125-150 grams per day.

---------------------------
So, not only am I telling my clients this, but I'm following it myself (or at least working toward it). I'm definitely not perfect. I have yet to do #2. However, a couple hours after writing my first post yesterday, there was a mind shift that has left me much happier: I WANT to do this. I have accountability. I am pleased to be offering this opportunity to myself, and to others. So, today's choices weren't too difficult. I slogged through the snow, leaving my warm post at the coffee shop, to do my workout. I didn't choose the salad bar for lunch because I was cold, but I chose a food option with plenty of veggies and healthy nuts (cashew chicken with carrots, celery, water chestnuts) and steamed rice-and only ate half the rice portion. I did fall for the hot chocolate at the coffee shop, but since I don't drink coffee, that doesn't leave me much to purchase. I don't want to feel like a complete noob for using the Wi-Fi without supporting the business. Supper was great- we went to the pizza place, but both hubby and I got the taco salad rather than any pizza. I avoided the Doritos placed in said salad as much as possible. I believe I left an entire bag in that bowl! Today was an intentional high-calorie day, and I'm feeling pretty good!

Today's workout (I forgot the actual one in my car, so here's what came out on the spot):
30 seconds each exercise, 5 seconds transition between, 1 min rest between each circuit, 3x through total
DB Squats (20 lbs total, 10 lb ea)
Push-ups
Mountain Climbers
Split Squats Side 1
Split Squats Side 2
Plank
Jump Rope

Hardcore workout, honestly, and very ab-focused. I was still asking for breath 15 minutes later. Otherwise, I got lots of energy from it!

Actual food for the day:
Breakfast: 1 cup Life Cereal, 1/2 cup milk
Lunch: Cashew Chicken, rice, eggroll, fortune cookie
Snack: Hot Chocolate
Dinner: Taco Salad
Water: 2 liters

Still working on getting the veggie intake up, but it's about twice the amount I had yesterday, which is good.

Workout and Trailmix: Done

2010-01-05T22:52:00.002-06:00

Ate the two servings of trailmix, one at 3:30 pm and the other at 7:00 pm. Eating it so late meant that I wasn't hungry for supper once I got home. Ah, well. It meant that I got an hour's worth of Wii Fit Plus in. I'm still just exploring the new features, so that was fun.

Otherwise, to bed with me! I'm exhausted.

Odd

2010-01-05T14:54:00.003-06:00

Here's an odd thing:

As soon as I started to log my calories, and write down here on teh blog what I was eating, everything in my brain started to go sorta wonky. I'm not sure what it is, perhaps someone else can point it out to me! Last week, I was gung-ho but on track, with energy levels high up. This week, I am slogging through the workouts with barely any energy, I don't want to eat anything but there's also the huge temptation to just dive into food I didn't even give any thought to last week.

Three limiting factors:
-I'm currently fighting off a sinus thing
-I have yet to go grocery shopping
-I'm not sleeping as well as I'd like; waking up on and off during the night and a full 1/2 hour before my alarm goes off
-I'm also stressed out about it

Okay, so that's four, but it's laid out. Weird and wonky, my brain. It seems it WANTS to set up for failure.

I'm not going to let that happen. So, watch me as I quick grab my mid-afternoon snack of trail mix and grab another handful for 5:30. Supper will probably be peas and a baked potato with cheese and ham. Not terribly imaginative, but it's better than Taco Johns, which I will be driving past on my way home from teaching bootcamp.

Breakfast was oatmeal, mid-morning snack was missed, lunch was 2 baked potatoes with 1/2 cup cottage cheese and 2 oz of cheese. I was hungry. Workout was done last night, although I stopped 7/8's of the way through because I got a nasty sinus headache. Today's workout was accomplished this morning. I made it all the way through that, but not able to get in as many reps as I would have liked. I have a fun/active workout on the Wii scheduled for later tonight.

Well- off to teach!

Monday

2010-01-04T21:17:00.002-06:00

It's a case of the Monday's for me. I'll write this post, then do my workout, as I haven't done it at any other point today.

I've felt rather unproductive, although I believe I must have accomplished some things. I logged my calorie intake from yesterday and found out that I may have only taken in 950 calories yesterday. Oops. It likely could have been more because I didn't have the nutrition stats for the Beef & Vegetable Stir Fry I had from my absolute favorite restaurant (which, lucky for me, is 4 hours away now). However, that would explain why I've been so hungry today.

Food: Oatmeal for breakfast, 3 eggs for mid-morning snack, pork ribs/broccoli/cauliflower/baked potato with cottage cheese for lunch, one chocolate truffle, a 1/4 cup trail mix, 1 cookie throughout the afternoon (yeah- I was hungry), then a piece of chicken breast and 1 slice of pizza for supper. Started out great, then degraded fairly quickly in my food choices. Issue? I was hungry, and I also hadn't planned the day beyond lunch. Hence, fallback foods. See how I set myself up for failure? So I'm calling myself out. I'm going grocery shopping tomorrow and stocking up on the good stuff, which I'm actually low on right now. And I'll finish out this week's meal plan pronto. As in tonight, before bed.

Which means I'd better get moving if I plan to do all this stuff in the next hour!

Happy New Year!

2010-01-03T23:07:00.003-06:00

How did it start?

Yeah.

Not perfect, but why do I always expect perfection from myself?

Welcome to the New Year, 2010 is here! And with it, my headlong dash into what I've been calling the "Looking Hot for 3o" campaign. I got a good start, ignored it completely for 3 days, then crawled back up today.

I did well today- oatmeal for breakfast, eggs for midmorning snack, meat/veggies/rice for lunch, cookie for snack, pork ribs w/ 2 tbs bbq sauce/veggies for supper. Now what I need to do is up that veggie intake by about double.

Tmrws plan: oatmeal for breakfast, eggs for midmorning snack, pork ribs/veggies/potato for lunch. I'll have to get midafternoon snack and supper to you later, because it's currently after 11 pm and I should have been in bed a half hour ago.

And the Workouts

2009-12-30T12:05:00.006-06:00

I must admit, the plans for the next three months scare the living tar out of me. Hehe. Oh well, the experts/gurus are always saying that if your goals aren't making you sh*t your pants, then you didn't shoot high enough.

Here, then, are the workouts I have planned, as well as the measurements I took this morning. I'm going to be heading up north for a couple of days and won't be back until Sunday, so I figured I'd get out ahead of the crowd. Most of the exercises should be on YouTube, and make sure all of them are done with proper form.

January Workouts
Choose from one each of the 5 days. Make sure and keep it constantly mixed up, we want to keep the body guessing. That's why there are five of the workouts. Don't repeat any one of the workouts more than once per week.

Warm-ups:
Choose three exercises from this list: Bodyweight Squats, Bird Dog, Y-Squats, Push-ups, 2-leg Hip Extensions, Single Leg Hip Extensions, or Y-Pulldown

Cool-downs:
Choose three exercises from this list: Bird Dog, Y-Pulldowns, 2-leg Hip Extension, Prone Cobra, Camelback, Sun Salutation

Workout A
Each exercise 30 seconds, go through each of the exercises without rest then rest for 1 minute and repeat. Go for four times through total, although pure beginners may want to start with 2 times through. The point is to get as many reps in each exercise as possible and match or beat those reps with each subsequent round.

-Kettlebell Swings
-Push-ups
-Kettlebell Clean and Press
-Mountain Climbers
-Side to Side Squat
Rest 1 minute, repeat up to 3 more times

Workout B
Each exercise 30 seconds, go through each of the exercises without rest then rest for 1 minute and repeat. Go for four times through total, although pure beginners may want to start with 2 times through. The point is to get as many reps in each exercise as possible and match or beat those reps with each subsequent round.

-Side to Side Squat
-Staggered Push-ups
-Split Squats Side 1
-Split Squats Side 2
-Spiderman Climb
Repeat up to 3 times

Workout C
Each exercise 50 seconds followed by 10 seconds of rest, go through each of the exercises then rest for 1 minute and repeat. Go for three times through total, although pure beginners may want to start with 2 times through. The point is to get as many reps in each exercise as possible and match or beat those reps with each subsequent round.

-Kettlebell Swings
-Jumping Jacks
-Plank
-Jumping Jacks
-Mountain Climbers
-Push-ups
Repeat up to 2 times

Workout D
In this workout, you have twenty minutes. Period. Do your warm-up, then set the timer, then try to do as many rounds of this circuit as possible in the 20 minutes. Each week, try to beat your "score" by a) one or more reps, b) one or more exercises, or c) one or more rounds. There are six exercises, and minimum number of rounds is three. If you get more than seven, substitute tougher versions that work similar muscle groups.

-Kettlebell Swings x 10 reps
-Push press x 10 reps
-Split Squat x 10 reps each side
-Spiderman Climb x 10 reps each side
-Push-ups x 10 reps
-Burpees x 10 reps (don't include the push-up variation)
Repeat until 20 minutes is finished, then cooldown.

Workout E
Each exercise 20 seconds followed by 10 seconds rest, go through each of the exercises four times through total, then take 1 minute rest and move on to the next two exercises. The point is to get as many reps in each exercise as possible and match or beat those reps with each subsequent round. This is also known as the Tabata protocol, and it is brutal for your fat stores and cardiovascular system- which can only mean good things!

-Jump Squats
-Push-ups
Repeat 3x, then 1 min rest
-Burpees
-Spiderman Climb
Repeat 3x, then 1 min rest
-Kettlebell Clean & Press
-Jumping Jacks

This workout was designed for healthy people who have been exercising for at least six months. It is not meant to be construed as medical advice. Please consult your physician prior to beginning this program.

And my measurements:
Weight: 161 lbs
Bodyfat: 22 mm (29%)
Right arm: 12.75"
Chest: 33"
Waist: 30.5"
Hips: 37"
Gluteus: 41"
Right thigh: 23.75"

For comparison's sake, here are some old measurements:
November 9, 2009: 163 lbs
February 23, 2009: 166 lbs
February 2008: 147 lbs

I could type up the inches stuff, but no one except me truly cares. Just know that I'm up about 1-3 inches in most measurements from 12/13/2007, my apparent lowest point.

Okay, enough information for now! I'm signing out for a few days, but I'll be back on accountability on Sunday. Hopefully with the meals plan for the week!

The Overview

2009-12-29T10:14:00.002-06:00

Here's an overview of the next six months, starting January 1, 2010 and ending June 30, 2010. Keep in mind that these goals are geared toward myself specificially, but they should be easy to follow and adapt if you want. I set my sights extremely high on purpose: first, something I really need to work for, and second, I need to prove something to myself. As a trainer, I am constantly bombarded with announcements from other trainers that say they've had people lose 15-20 pounds in one month using the meat & veggies only plan. I need to prove to myself that that is real. If I can do it with myself, then I can implement it with clients.

I plan to weigh in once a week, do a bodyfat measurement with Accumeasure calipers, and every two weeks, measure inches in the right arm, around the belly button, around the hips at the widest point, and the right thigh.

Also, I will be planning my meals in advance. The compliance % changes with each month, and will be dependent upon results. Compliance means that if I'm eating 5 meals per day, 7 days/week, I have a certain percentage of meals I can skip/flub up on/use to let my hair down. 100% compliance means just that: it's intense, and only happens for one month. 90% compliance means I get three meals per week; 80% compliance means I get 7 meals per week. There's one full rest week in the middle, which is practice for maintenance plus a reward week. I haven't really thought about my weekly/monthly rewards yet, which means I'll need to put them in later.

The Big Picture: 6 months, January 1-June 30, 2010

Month One: January 1-January 31
Hardcore, Intense, Exhilarating
Reduce fat by 15 pounds minimum, 1 mm decrease (BF%) every 5 days
Workouts: Metabolic Circuit 5x/week; Fun/Active 3x/week
Diet: Meat, Eggs, Veggies with plenty of fruit, yogurt, and oatmeal
Compliance: 100%
End Goal: Size 10, 150 pounds by Jan. 31

Month Two: February 1-28
Intense and Exhilarating
Reduce fat by 10 pounds minimum, 1 mm decrease (BF%) every 7 days
Workouts: Metabolic Circuit plus depletion circuit 5x/week; Fun/Active 3x/week
Diet: Meat, Eggs, Veggies, Fruit, add in more whole grains after workouts only
Compliance: 90%
End Goal: Size 8, 140 pounds by February 28

Month Three: March 1-30
Start Tweaking
Reduce fat by 5 pounds minimum, 1 mm decrease every 7 days
Workouts: Metabolic Circuit plus depletion 6x/week; Fun/Active 2x/week; High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) 1x/week
Diet: Meat, Eggs, Veggies, Fruit, Whole Grains (some cereals) after workouts only
Compliance: 80-90%
End Goal: Size 6-8, 135 pounds by March 30

Active Rest: April 1-6
Rest week, Fun/Active workouts only
Diet: Work on intuitive eating, but relaxed

Month Four: April 7-30
Tweaking and Fitness Increases
135 pounds and 20% or less BF%
Workouts: Metabolic Circuit plus depletion 6x/week; Fun/Active or Endurance 3x/week; HIIT 1x/week
Diet: Meat, Eggs, Veggies, Fruit, Whole Grains
Compliance: 80%-90%
End Goal: Size 6, Seeing abs and muscle definition by April 30

Month Five: May 1-31
The Final Stretch
135 pounds and 17% bodyfat, ready for bikini and model shoot ;)
Workout: Metabolic Circuit plus HIIT 6x/week; Steady State/Endurance 2x/week; Outside and Play 1x/week
Diet: Meat, Eggs, Veggies, Fruit
Compliance: 90%
End Goal: 17% bodyfat by May 30

Month Six: June 1-30
Maintenance Man: At Goal, Now to Keep It
Workout: Metabolic Circuit 5x/week, Outside and Play 2x/week
Diet: Intuitive eating, enjoy seasonal fruits and veggies

I'll post January's workouts either today or tomorrow. They'll require a bit of floor space and a kettlebell. If you didn't notice, every month is a Metabolic Circuit. I do have a gym membership that I should use, so I may get to the gym and actually lift weights, but I'll likely just follow the plan. It's these metabolic circuits that are causing my bootcamp clients to lose 1 mm of bodyfat per week (or more, some have pulled off 5 mm in one week!), which is why I'm using them. My clients also are given a superset-style weight workout and HIIT workout each month that they're asked to do outside of class, so I'll also include that in the workouts even though my plan doesn't call for them.

See what I mean when I said I was keeping it simple? It'll be hard and intense, but not confusing. I'm leaving carb/protein ratios in the dust behind me. That's probably the smart thing to do.

I'll probably end up using a lot of protein powder, smoothies, etc. I might even plan for a nutrition bar or two. It's cold outside, and that means I'll rely a lot on warm/hot foods during the colder months.

If you said you were with me on this thing, let me see you commit on your blog!

Planning Stages

2009-12-28T22:32:00.002-06:00

Well, I just wanted to quickly write that I'm in the planning stages for the next six months of my life. I'm getting really clear on it, but keeping it simple too. I tried getting too complicated last time, and that just didn't work. Hopefully my life doesn't get completely thrown through the cement mixer this time, either.

So here's to the next six months!

I'll do a look back at the past decade this week too. Probably not here (or if anything, just the highlights), but it's been a pretty amazing last ten years. To give a teaser: New Year's Eve 1999, I was 19 years old, in college, and had just started dating my now-husband. Two high school friends, my then-boyfriend, and I rented a hotel room and celebrated with illegal drinks (none of us were of age) and the thought that, just maybe, something spectacular was going to happen with the turn of the millenium. That's still the question: did something spectacular happen? Well, from my perspective, 2000-2009 have been pretty amazing years. I'll drink to my twenties!

Huge-Ass Support

2009-12-11T10:17:00.002-06:00

As a trainer, I find myself giving support out to others all the time. However, I rarely take in any support for myself when I have fat loss goals. I do that to a lot of other areas of my life as well, so it's obviously a common theme with me.

So, I've gotten to a point where I realize I really need support. And I mean REALLY. I keep taking steps, but I don't do them with any consistency. I let other things get in the way- teaching, getting projects done, etc. I HAVEN'T been following my own advice: eating properly, exercising daily. The fat loss that was starting a few weeks ago has stalled, and I know it's my own fault.

I have a hard time approaching others for help, and am more likely to give it out than let myself receive it in return.

HOWEVER. It is time for me to ask for help. Whether it's this blog, or hiring a trainer, following the Warp Speed Fat Loss program to the letter, following the Precision Nutrition to the letter, or just designing something myself and having someone check in with me daily/weekly that I've got something invested in, what have you.

A couple years ago the FAT Coalition did a month-long contest where everyone contributed $10 and the person who had the best results won the pot. It didn't quite end on the best terms, but it was helpful for me to push myself during the Christmas season.

Right now my ball keeps starting and stopping, or at the very least, rolling VERY slowly. I don't like it and am ready to change that.

So what am I saying? I don't know. I want help, but I'm stubborn, always thinking I can do it on my own. Not the best team player.

But if you haven't noticed, this blog has basically died, and with it the hopes of attaining 147 lb by Christmas. That's a pity party I know. I need to get off my high horse and take real, consistent, designed action. Otherwise, nothing's going to happen.

Anyway, if anyone is still reading this, I had an idea. Google Wave is awesome. It's more than awesome, it's amazing. And its support capabilities are endless. Think IM, blog, email, social media, all wrapped into one. If you've used it already you're likely as excited about it as I am. If not, get an invite and get on then look me up (carrie DOT moritz AT googlewave DOT com). I think a Google Wave support group would be awesome. Hold each other accountable. Give updates. Of course, that requires us to take action and be accountable. It's a lot easier to ignore email/blogs than it is to ignore the person in the grocery store who you attend support group with. AA for weight lossers who are off the bandwagon and somewhere back there on the road, maybe.

So here's what I propose: I am looking for a group of 5-8 people, and we're going to get TIGHT. We are going to line up goals and rewards. We're going to Wave on a daily basis. We are going to hold each other accountable- through phone, email, GoogleWave, etc. We're going to form a circle and we won't let each other go. We are going to get together for six months- no more, no less. It's going to start January 1, 2010 officially, but will start to ramp up before that. In those six months, we are going to do what it takes to once and for all reach our goals. Boom. Done. Just like that. We'll encounter obstacles and face them together. We'll work out together if need be (virtually, of course). I'll ask for help, and if I stop asking for help and start giving advice that I'm not following, you'll be able to kick me in the pants. I'll set something up where maybe I have to give you lots of money if I don't accomplish my goal, although that might backfire if you get greedy ;)

So let me know ASAP if you want to be part of this group. I'm opening it up to more than just the FAT Coalition folks.

Da Workouts

2009-11-24T23:05:00.003-06:00

I've been terribly busy as of late! I'm working on a top-secret video project that's requiring more time than I was hoping it would, but isn't that how it always goes?

The workouts have been hardcore. I changed things up a bit and have been methodically working on my bootcamp workouts, so I'm getting some heavy sweat going at least three days per week. The accu-measure bodyfat tester I bought several weeks ago, measured myself with, then threw with disgust has shown some promising results: down from 27 mm to 22 mm. I'm hoping that's due to actual fat loss and not to improving my measurement capabilities, since I've been also measuring all my bootcampers. The muscles in my arms are starting to make a reappearance. Wonderful. I had missed them! So, if I lost any fat, it wasn't in the face like usual, but in the arms. And it hasn't shown on the scale.

I've been waffling back and forth for the last week and a half as to whether or not to join Tom Venuto's 50-day challenge. Wouldn't mind the pressure; would hate the pressure. I have until midnight tomorrow night to decide, and it's actually probably earlier than that because of Thanksgiving stuff.

For a moment of sad reflection, tomorrow was also supposed to be the final day for the challenge I started back in September. I have made progress. My life has progressed soooo much in the past three months, although Sept already feels like a lifetime ago. I'm somewhat Sad, because I spent so much of that time between then and now just surviving life. Alright, not really. I have been through a lot. At the same time, I know I could have done lots better. So, that is why I just keep plugging. It'll happen!

Quick

2009-11-18T15:02:00.002-06:00

Quick, before I get distracted and go to something else!

I did NOT take off those three pounds. I'm sitting steady at 164 (sad, but true). Workouts are going great, I'm going through my bootcamper's workouts again and tweaking them as needed because I have great plans for them ;). I reset my goal, but this time I'm not going to have that little "panic" button go off inside that makes me do the opposite of what I need/want. So, four pounds, next two weeks? Good goal. Noticed that Thanksgiving is next week, which is of course the original deadline date I had. Sigh. Oh well, on the way to great things anyway!

Also, check out the contest that Tom Venuto of "Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle" is doing. SWEET!

I Believe...

2009-11-09T21:46:00.001-06:00

Well, I believe I did it. Lost those two pounds, I mean. Of course, most of it required taking off my jeans... *grin* Just kidding. Weigh-in this morning put me at 163. I believe it must have all come off my face, cause people were noticing already. Jeans were also fitting well this morning, and two weeks ago I gave them up entirely because they were getting too tight.

Now that I'm not in denial, I can really see where I put on the weight in the last year: all in the hip/saddlebag/thigh area. Ew. I notice it most when I'm in Zumba class in front of the mirror. (By the way, if you haven't tried Zumba yet, go find a class nearby. It won't substitute for a good hard bodyweight workout, but it's fun!)

So, that means I'm working. Feeling good, getting several workouts in a week, eating more sensibly- it's so nice to be back to that again.

Goal for this week: three pounds gone forever.

Take Two

2009-11-04T09:25:00.003-06:00

Well, I just lost about 15 minutes of good blog material. Lovely. That'll teach me to click buttons! Well, I'll try again.

I had an idea this morning that would be for an iPhone/touch app, but am unsure of how to proceed without it costing a bundle (and wouldn't mind making money in the process!). Here it is: I'm an extremely visual person, so a visual representation of how I'm doing weight-wise would be good for me. I'm thinking of having an avatar on a path, 3D preferable, that leads either to a lava pit or a treasure/game/whatever, depending on where you're at regarding your goal. Let's say you put in a current weight of 215 and have a goal of 180. If you type in that you gained 5 pounds, your character would move closer to the lava pit. If you type in that you lost 5 pounds, your character would move closer to the treasure. I'm thinking a game would be fun, as it can only be unlocked once you hit your goal (in fact, several games/levels along intervals might be the most compelling). No games if you're heading toward the lava pit. How fun does that sound? Let me know if you know anyone with the knowhow who'd be willing to partner up on that.

On my own fronts, I'm starting to cruise again after hitting a week's worth of brakes. I intend to lose two pounds this week. I like it when good habits just kick in, because autopilot's the best. Then there's no fighting, there's just making sure the momentum keeps going. It's definitely a lot easier. So, I'm working on that momentum. I figure I'll ramp it up to the point where I literally am flying by December 1, and will hit January 1 at 150. That being said, if anyone wants to lend me their copy of Warp Speed Fat Loss, I'd be willing to borrow it.

The training people thing is going great too. I'm remembering why this is my passion! It's definitely not easy, but when you've got people who are willing to work and who are seeing results, it's all worth it.

Focus

2009-10-14T08:44:00.004-05:00

You know how they say you can really only focus on one thing at once? It's incredibly true. I can multitask, I'm just not very good at it. And if I do it, then I'm not really focused.

I will be honest here, upfront. I have not been focusing on the weightloss goal as of late. (Obviously, since I haven't been posting daily like I planned.) In fact, I lost focus on that one approximately one week after I started it.

What a surprise.

I've been focusing, instead, on moving, surviving my parents' house, and starting a business. If you didn't catch the word, we moved back "down south" to the South Dakota/Northwest Iowa area. We didn't really stop to think, but that's okay- things are working out.

So I lived in my parents' house for one month, pure torture. We moved out as soon as we could. Not that I don't love my parents, and I have been extremely grateful for their support, but I haven't lived with them for over ten years now, and I definitely run my life quite differently than they do. So, we've got a place, had to spend one over-worked week flipping it, and moved in this past weekend.

That was last week. At the same time, I started teaching bootcamp classes in two locations (both a half hour away from my house and from each other). They are so much fun! Even if I was exhausted by last week, I'm glad it happened.

It's also taught me one thing: it's time for me to get back in the game. Time to stop pissing around and not only get myself back in shape, but be a good role model as well. I can't tell these people to go eat their veggies and then gorge myself on Taco John's. That's just cruel.

So, I am re-focused. I'm not going to get overly detailed because I believe that derailed me a month ago. However, cleaning things up, lowering portion sizes, and getting a bottle of protein powder usually works wonders, so that's what I'll do. AND I'll work on posting more often.

If you want to see what I've been up to, you can visit http://www.carrannmorfitness.com and take a peek!

A Metabolic Circuit

2009-09-20T22:08:00.003-05:00

My workout on Friday was something sweet. I did my first metabolic circuit (outlined in Afterburn by Alwyn Cosgrove and Stubborn 7 by Josh Hillis) in a long time. Basically, I took four total-body kickass exercises and did as many sets as I could in 20 minutes. Entire workout time: 30 minutes (included warm-up and cool-down/stretching).

I completed 7 sets of 8 reps of each exercise, performed in this order:
Deadlifts x 10lbs dumbbells
Pull-ups (assisted) x 17 weight number (not sure what that means in weight reduction, but is high)
Bodyweight squats
Kneeling push-ups

Now, the key is for me to do this set one more time again next week, and try to get more sets. Once 8 sets are accomplished, I'll increase the difficulty.

If you haven't noticed yet, I'm changing up the workouts every time I am working out, but using high-quality, large muscle-group exercises.

I'm not feeling as focused as I would like to be. Of course, the next question becomes, how am I going to be more focused? That would be planning the menu, following a pre-planned workout design, etc. So, am I ready to do that? Not surprisingly, there's a part of me that says "no." Why? Because so much of my life feels out of control right now, that I feel like I cannot really control anything. Which is stupid. I control more than I give myself credit for, but I'm giving up that control to the chaos of not pre-planning. Ew. But then I realize that I tend to spend hours in the pre-planning stuff, instead of the minutes that it should take. Another ew. No wonder I avoid it.

And no wonder I'm feeling like a failure at many points.

No, I'm not looking for pity or even a kick in the ass, I'm just outlining this in words for myself. I kick my own butt just fine.

So what is one thing I can do to combat this?
-I can make sure I have healthy food at hand and pack a lunch the night before
-I can go to bed on time so I can get up on time, and be able to get everything done in a morning that I need to
-I can make sure I get A workout, any workout, in whenever and wherever possible.

I did get four workouts in last week. I felt sore from all of them, which means I'm pushing myself (I wasn't sore to the point that I couldn't move, so the push didn't go overly far). Good. That's one thing accomplished. Now to get re-focused on diet.

Three in a row

2009-09-15T20:30:00.003-05:00

Today marks the third day in a row that I got a high-quality workout in. The workout today was weights followed by intervals on an Arc Trainer, yesterday was Zumba (more on that), Sunday was a 20-minute run/walk interval workout.

I'm pretty proud of that. I am now on my third week, and my workouts are getting tougher, more frequent. I'm definitely a happier person due to that.

Now, eating. It has not been anywhere near what my brain perceives should be perfection. It's been much cleaner. I'm choosing higher-quality foods when eating out, eating smaller portions, using lettuce and spinach as lunch-time staples. After eating 6 egg whites with mushrooms and spinach for 7 days for breakfast, I'm finding that I can't get myself to eat it again. Point one: don't force yourself to eat it day after day if you don't like it. I was trying to get my calories and ratios perfect. As in, I had used hours the day before trying to figure out exactly what portions I could eat of such and such of food, and was going to follow that. I accomplished one meal. Obviously, that didn't work. It was eye-opening though- first, how much I had been eating before, and second, how much fat is actually in my diet. ONE tablespoon of olive oil has 14 grams of fat. When the plan I had laid out allowed for only 12 grams of fat per meal (on average), that didn't allow for any other type of fat to be in the meal unless I skimped on the oil. Which doesn't work if the pan needs to be greased and you don't have any spray. So next lesson: get spray.

So I continue to the work to improve everything, and continuing to measure myself.

Today's workout routine:
Warm-up- Bodyweight squats, kneeling push-ups, stability ball roll-outs 2x10 circuit
1a: Chest Press 3x8, 20 lb dumbbellss (after warm-up of 5 lbs, 10 lbs x 10)
2a: One armed back rows 3x8, 20 lb dumbbell (after warm-up of 5 lbs, 10 lbs x 10)

1b: Renegade lunges 3x16 (8 each side), 8 lb medicine ball
2b: Kneeling push-ups 3x8

1c: Stability ball leg extensions 3x15
2c: Medicine ball ab twists 3x16 (8 each side), 8 lb medicine ball

20 minutes of intervals: 2 min warm-up, 1 minute on-2 minutes off (5 cycles), 2 min cool down. All on the Arc trainer with a resistance of 15.

What Day?

2009-09-10T23:22:00.003-05:00

I refuse to say I've lost focus, because I haven't. I will admit to not being quite as focused as I had hoped I would be. I can make excuses all I like, but there's the truth of it. I won't justify.

I got a great workout in on Tuesday. I'm planning on one tomorrow. I am going to have to get comfortable with working out in my parents' house, or else nothing's going to happen.

Food, on the other hand, has been better than it used to be. Nowhere near where I want it. Today's intake of vegges was great: lettuce salad w/ carrots and grapes for lunch, apple for mid-snack, grapes for mid-snack, salad for dinner. Intersperse that with Cheerios at breakfast, 3/4 a three musketeers candy bar late afternoon, and a 10-piece McNuggets, and you've got my day.

I'm not quite sure where the sabotage is coming from. Something in my subconscious just is wigging completely out right now. It's time to take back control.

Moved

2009-09-08T22:07:00.002-05:00

We moved this past weekend, now we're back in the Southeast South Dakota area. Hence the lack of posts since last Wednesday! The eating hasn't been anything to brag about, but I've gotten in a couple of workouts.

I didn't mention anything about it, but last week I concentrated on making sure breakfast was solid. Even if nothing else went right, at least I would have breakfast right. I'm working on getting ratios to a 40%-30%-30% (protein-carbs-fat) to a full day, but it's not going to happen all at once. I'm beginning to believe that is one of the reasons so many people fail at changing their dietary habits- it's because they try to change everything at once, feel deprived, and quit. Josh Hillis of the Stubborn 7 Pounds workouts suggested concentrating on just one thing at a time, for a week at a time. So far, I think he's going to be right. I'm going to continue hitting breakfast solid, and the next meal to tackle is lunch.

I think I also forgot to mention that I signed up to Snap Fitness on the Wednesday before everything changed. I rather like those gyms, each one I've tried has been comforting, goal-oriented, and just like a gym should be (unlike that Bally's POS place). I haven't had too much trouble getting myself to go to them, which of course makes sense because I love working out and just need a place to focus. Now that we've moved, the closest Snap Fitness is 20 miles away, but I'm willing to continue going to that gym for a while longer. I'll say one thing- I need the focus of a gym. I don't find enough of that working at home, no matter how convenient that is.

Here's a quick rundown of the last few days:
Thursday: This day is a hazy blur in my memory. I honestly cannot remember anything about it other than that we packed all day.
Friday: At some point during the packing, my hubby chased me out the door to the gym. It was strange- I was tired, had been on my feet all day, and wasn't looking forward to it, but once I got to the gym, it all changed. The workout was solid and felt great, and it gave me the energy to keep on packing.
Saturday: Moving day!
Sunday and Monday: No workout, not so great food choices.
Tuesday (today): Not so great food choices, solid workout.

Tuesday's workout:
1a: Deadlift 3x8, 15 lb dumbbells
2a: One-arm back row 3x8, 15 lb dumbbell

1b: Split Squat 3x8, 5 lb dumbbells
2b: Pushup, kneeling 3x8

1c: SB leg curls 3x15
2c: Plank, 30 sec

1d: Turkish get-ups, 1x5 each side

Day Four

2009-09-02T22:41:00.002-05:00

Spent the day packing today. Ugh. It's wearing, but we're shipping out on Saturday.

So the day's rundown:
Meals: Three of Five
Meal Grade: 50%
Workout: none

No excuses, it's just how the day went. It is going to change.

Meals:
Breakfast: 3 egg whites, 1 whole egg; 1/2 cup multi-grain Cheerios w/ 1/4 cup milk
Lunch: Leftover Chinese
Dinner: Gyro (1/2 restaurant portion), small handful fries, 1/2 cheesecake slice

Good choices today: Even though the choices weren't that great, there were some good things. I didn't overdo it on portion sizes to the full extent, there were no cookies involved (there's an open package sitting in my kitchen), and I was up and moving around all day.

How to improve: plan ahead. Eat something in between meals, even if it isn't high in protein. Quit moving houses quite so often.

Day Three

2009-09-02T00:07:00.006-05:00

A good blog post from Bill Phillips, creator/writer of Body for Life, here. An excerpt:
"

An elder Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life. He  said to them, "A fight is going on inside me… it is a terrible fight and it is  between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret,  greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false  pride, superiority and apathy.”

The elder continued, “The other wolf stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity,  humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth,  compassion and faith."

"This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other  person, too,” he added.

The Grandchildren thought about it for a minute and then one boy  asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee looked the boy in the eye, gently smiled and whispered... "The one you feed."

This is one of my favorite parables of all time because it is so rich with truth and it conveys one of the most important lessons of life and transformation with such simple elegance.

"... Continue reading the story here.

I am currently avoiding bedtime, which I know I shouldn't but am. Here's Day Three rundown:

Meals: four
Workout: Yes
Day Grade: 85%

Didn't get all five meals today. It's time to start getting that grade up into the 90's.
Workout was good: Warmup Split Squats x 10, Plank x 15-20 sec, Extended Leg Stability Ball curl x 10 (repeat 2x)
Workout: Roman deadlifts 2x8, 2-25 lb dumbbells/chest press 2x8, 2-15 lb dumbbells; SB rollout (for abs) 2x8/Split Squat 2x8, 2-5 lb dumbbells; Swings 2x15, 15-lb dumbbell/Back rows 2x8, 4?; Arc Trainer 5 minutes.

For supper had Chinese food; the crack went straight to my head and I ate too much. That doesn't mean I ate the whole thing, but I definitely could have done with a lot less and split that one meal into three or four.

Things I did well today: Breakfast was spot-on, eggs w/ mushrooms and spinach. Made a high-protein meal from some carbo-leftovers and couldn't eat what I made (partly due to taste, partly due to being satisfied). Workout was good, though not terribly tough. If I'm not sore tomorrow, I will need to pick up the pace and start increasing weights. Tomorrow I'm slated for some HIIT training, which should feel good.

Day Two

2009-09-01T11:04:00.002-05:00

Day two: did not get a chance to post on Monday, but here's the rundown

Meals eaten: three
Healthy-o-meter: 75% or less
Workout: none
Day Grade: D+

Made good choices in some areas, not in others. Decided not to order Dairy Queen when we pulled into the parking lot, only had one slice of pizza (thin crust) and two lettuce salads with minimal dressing. Otherwise, planning was not good, workout didn't happen, and otherwise not-so-great execution for day two.

That means I get to buck up for day three!

Day One

2009-08-30T22:17:00.001-05:00

Day one on the imaginary scorecard: 85%. Not bad. I will call that decent. Only remembered to take a picture of one meal. Workout done. Five meals eaten.

Meal one: egg whites with spinach and mushrooms, 1/4 cup oatmeal
Meal two: lean ground beef with onion mushrooms green beans and 1 cup watermelon
Meal three: ice cream birthday cake small slice (knowing how those go it was still probably about 300 calories)
Meal four: six inch roasted chic breast with cheese and spinach on honey oat bread from subway
Meal five: same

Workout: bodyweight exercise warmup- squats x 10, y-pulldowns x 10, stability ball leg curls x 10 (go thru twice)
Supersets of renegade squats 2x16/push press 2x8, swings 2x15/back rows 2x8, clean and press 2x8/mountain climbers 2x20
Low weights as I concentrated on form and want to prevent being too sore.

I did this workout in a gym but the whole thing can be done with a kettlebell, and it Is definitely a pretty sweet workout.

The family and I traveled south today after a birthday party, (hence the cake and the sandwiches from Subway. Today was definitely very eye-opening as to how bad my calorie intake/portion sizes had gotten. Ooph.

Crazy, Pigheaded, or Determined?

2009-08-29T20:59:00.002-05:00

My life has been absolutely crazy over the past week and a half. I moved down to the Cities from the Boundary Waters Canoe Area camp that I was at all summer, started transitioning back into city life, then boom! On Friday I lost my job. Damn economy.

It sucks, to say the least, but on the other hand, I'm super excited. I was pretty much done with that area of work, and have been feeling the magnetic pull back to training others for the past 2-and-a-half months. Hence part of the reason for "getting back to it." That and I don't care to stay where I'm at right now.

So, here's where the blog title comes in. Some might say I'm crazy, others pigheaded, but I'm calling it determined. Even though we're vacating the Cities in the next couple of weeks (sooner rather than later, as daughter needs to start kindergarten), I don't have another job lined up yet, and we're likely going to be homeless for a little while, I'm going to continue going ahead with this.

Each piece of the plan. The nutrition: spot on. The fitness plan: spot on. The goals plan: spot on.

I'm going to do it.

It's a truly scary thought, but I'm ready to bust a couple of chops right now, and I figure this is probably the way to go.

The plan starts tomorrow.

I'll post everything then.

The New Direction.

2009-08-13T11:58:00.002-05:00

I'll admit one thing and do it right away: the last year, fitness/nutrition-wise, sucked. I didn't get my legs under me. I pretty much did the most basic, wimpy, sally-type thing I could do.

So now that's out of the way, I'll let you know what I have been up to.

I'm starting a new direction. I'm spending this month doing the planning, the decision-making, the psychological junk that needs to be done before any workout or nutrition program begins. I've set my goals on paper, I've decided where I want to go and how I want to get there. I've been modifying my eating habits little by little, weaning off the sugar and reducing portion sizes. Increasing water intake. Doing movement that is non-intentional but more than I have been doing.

The official Start Date is August 29, a Sunday. It's quite literally almost two weeks from this Sunday. It will last 84 days, or exactly three months. This gives me an end date of November 21. It is a full program, taking me from semi-in-shape to killer fit, and from current stats (which still need to be measured, but are likely somewhere around 170 lbs and 26% bodyfat) to 146 lbs and 21% bodyfat (or at a rate of ~2 lbs and .5% bf reduction per week). There will then be a further month (right around the holidays, heh) to take me down to 140 lbs and 20% bodyfat. Then, I will go from there.

Wanna be with me?

I'll provide a full 14-week program- what to do, how to do it, when to do it. Exercise, nutrition, the works. Just email carrie_dr @ hotmail.com (without the spaces). I'll email you the specifics.

I'm blogging daily, even short posts when I have little time. I'll be posting food photos/logs, exercise logs, and much more. I'll try not to philosophize too much. But that's the basics for now.

Let me know if you want to join me.

~Carrie

Being "Good"

2009-03-24T22:14:00.002-05:00

Sorry, haven't quite gotten back into the habit of writing on the blog. I've been keeping on myself though! Haven't weighed in lately (as in like the last two weeks or so), but definitely feeling better, which is huge in and of itself.

I got my three workouts in last week, on Monday, Thursday, and Saturday. Saturday's workout was the hardest, mostly because I wiped myself out first with kettlebell, squats, lunges, and push-ups, then did Tabata Kettlebell Swings (20 seconds "on," 10 seconds "off"). I had to pause once during the rounds just to breathe, but otherwise I did it with my 20 lb new kettlebell (I'm loving it by the way, it's a pretty royal blue 20 lb bell by GoFit that was bought at Target- sooo much better than the el cheapo Reebok I got a couple Christmases ago at Shopko). Most of my workouts are kettlebell-based right now, and while I still use the DVD every once in a while (esp. since the 8-minute workout included with the 'bell is killer for me right now), I've finally started to move back into doing self-guided workouts. I like those better anyway.

Food's been so much better as well, esp since I've started making sure I remember snacks for between meals. Lately I've been big on apples with 2 tbsp of peanut butter, or a banana with 2 tbsp of Nutella (hazelnut chocolate spread, a bit high in sugar but seriously good, and it gets me to eat bananas). I also went to the grocery store on Sunday, spent less than a hundred dollars (awesome, we've been averaging $112 lately every two weeks), and stocked up on some major produce- lettuce, spinach, potatoes, corn, broccoli, green beans, peas plus fruit; yogurt, and other good stuff that I used to go out and buy without any longing toward the junk food. It felt good, but it's also a lesson in how eating processed food costs more. Note to self- try to limit the junk!

Today's workout was 20 minutes of 30 seconds on, 60 seconds off kettlebell intervals. Good hard stuff. Yay!

Rolling

2009-03-19T21:55:00.003-05:00

Amazing that Thursday has come and gone! I haven't had the hardest time this week, and I'm working toward this week's goals.

-Meals haven't exactly been planned out way in advance, but the planning that has gone in is that which pertains to having a quality snack available for morning and afternoon. It has helped immensely. It's always funny how I can have times where I'm thinking, "ah, no snack, no problem, I usually don't need it anyway" but then end up eating my weight in food at mealtimes because I'm either starving or think i have the calorie allotment for it (weird justification, totally not true, mostly because our bodies don't digest large amounts of food as efficiently as small amounts, leading to food sitting in the digestive tract longer and more nutrients-ie calories- being ingested). However, when I have a snack, I feel much better and am able to regulate meals much better.

-I've had two workouts so far this week. Today's workout was short and quick, but I'm working my way back up the intensity scale more slowly than I thought I could. After nearly killing myself with an overly intense workout last week I realized that I need to build up some more of my functional muscle strength again before going all-out in the intensity department.

-Food choices have been much healthier. That's a good thing. Now all I need to do is teach hubby not to use so much pasta and we'll be set. Oh, and I need to hit up the grocery store for veggies. Realized last night that except for a cabbage, some cauliflower, and a bunch of onions, we're out.

I've also been doing some more releasing via the Sedona Method. Basically just getting rid of some of the layers of guilt, control issues, and need for approval and security. It can be amazing how liberating that is. I've built up quite a bit, but I'm seeing the positive side of the coin, which should help in future decisions. It's also helping me re-define why I want to go on this journey again. The re-start is something I've been having a very hard time with, because I've got such a huge fear of failing again. So, it's time to set myself up for winning, and to go all the way!

I'm thinking there's something else I wanted to address, but I've completely blanked. So, I'll sign off for today!

Uh huh...yep

2009-03-15T21:55:00.003-05:00

Not sure what tone to take with today's entry.

To be completely honest, I'm experiencing some pretty heavy drag in my mental department- I'm where I'm at, and I DONT LIKE IT. But complaining about it, grabbing another bag of chips or slice of pizza, isn't going to help me out of it.

On the other hand, I realize that the only person that my weight gain affects (without taking into account what it does to relationships due to me beating on myself) is ME. The only person who hates me for not keeping my weight down is ME. The person who keeps making the stupid choices is ME.

So, where does that leave me?

I'm pissed off but not doing anything about it. That gets me (and you, as a reader) abso-freaking-lutely nowhere.

I bought two new pairs of jeans at Goodwill today because nothing else fits. Both were size 14. I gave away my 14's last May because they were too damn big. So, here it is: the tipping point.

I either shit or get off the pot, 'cause nothing's happening otherwise and it's just getting me mad.

I'm the one driving me, and it's time I took the wheel.

Part two never truly got started. False starts, empty hopes. Is this what this is? We'll see by the end of the week. Here's this weeks starting goal: 3 workouts, meals planned and written down.

Really fast quickie

2009-03-08T22:29:00.002-05:00

Really fast-

I got a new kettlebell this weekend! Whee!

20# blue, comfy handle, included a short 8-min workout

I think I can live with that. ;)

Time to Get Killer

2009-03-01T22:38:00.002-06:00

I'll admit it, I've been drooling. Hang on a minute while I wipe off the keyboard. Craig Ballantyne, author of the Turbulence Training System, has just released all of his monthly workouts for $9.95 each, and I've been looking at them all. I may have a good portion of them, but I realize that I've missed a few, and I would love to get back in the Turbulence Training style of workouts. If you click here, you can check out all the workouts too. If nothing else, it's a good introduction to Turbulence Training without the price ($39.95 or something like that for the basic version, which actually isn't bad for 16+ weeks of workouts, eating suggestions, and the like).

I do realize that I said only a week ago that I've been doing well with my current workout program of Iron Core kettlebells and the strangely-silly-but-there Wii Fit, but I'm thinking I like to change way too often when I'm not on a solid routine, and I would love to get on one of those again.

So, off I go to either drool some more or actually get one of the Bodyweight Workouts. If you hear me scream, it's because I bought one that I already had.

Yeah, so I'm a TT fan, I'll admit it. Can I be Craig Ballantyne's next groupie? *grin*

The Child-Harried Workout

2009-02-25T21:59:00.002-06:00

I mentioned a couple of days ago that I've been working out from home. It's great... except for the part where my 5-year-old wants to get in on the action.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love that she enjoys exercise of all types and kinds- she's almost always on the move. Jumping, dancing, walking, waltzing, dancing, riding bike, running up slides, dancing, etc. And lately, push-ups, kettlebell swinging, and Wii Fit running.

Alright, that's fine. What isn't fine is when she's taking control of the workout, telling me what to do, how to do it, and essentially causing me to dial down my work for her benefit. I'm complaining about this because 50% of my workout was doing the Wii running today, which if you haven't tried it, can give a semi-decent workout- if you're not expecting it to actually simulate a real run, or you don't have a competitive bone in your body and don't mind that you just caused yourself to stop breathing for lack of air and it STILL only gave you one star and chewed you out the whole time because you "passed your guide" or didn't "keep a steady pace to burn the most fat." As if.

So, after she got her fill of the run (3-- 4-minute intervals, with 1-2 min rest periods in between), and was chewed out for being bossy, my daughter was able to give up control of the workout and let me get some kind of strength training in. (If you know my philosophy, you know that I prefer strength training prior to cardio, mostly for the injury prevention and partly for the fact that it gives a dang hard workout that way.) I did about three sets of 10-12 push-ups and 45 or so bodyweight squats (another drawback to the Wii Fit: the squats are IMPOSSIBLE- you can put as much of your weight on your heels as possible without falling over backward, and you still can't get into the blue line that says you're performing the exercise right). There was also about 20 kettlebell swings thrown in somewhere.

Not a great workout in my opinion. I got sweaty. That's about all I can say.

Alright, I'll stop the complaining now.

On to better stuff: I'm looking more carefully at my diet, starting to think about playing with things. I've switched back to oatmeal for breakfast from the cereal, of which I am admittedly an addict and just need to stay off of. Similar to ice cream, I just can't have it in the house. My fruit intake could use a boost, although it's not absent from my diet- I've been eating at least one per day. I would prefer three, that's just me. Veggies vary daily. Many of my lunches are leftovers, so however many veggies were in last night's supper is generally the lunch. My hubby's been doing most of the cooking, which is partly pure laziness on my part and partly a scheduling issue- he's the one who's home prior to 6 pm. Strange, how I like to cook but hate to take the time to cook anything.

Scale: no shoes today, down 1.8 lbs to a strong 164.

The Kettlebell Experience

2009-02-23T20:58:00.004-06:00

Hey!

I've been working overtime lately, trying to get over the biggest case of writer's block that I've ever experienced. That's not good, esp. for someone who writes as much as I do- whether it's work or play, I'm generally writing something. So, what better idea to get over writer's block than to write? And hey, I have this blog, that I pledged to write in everyday about 4 weeks ago, that I've only posted in twice! *cough* Yeah. So here I am, writing- whether it's any good, makes any sense, or whether I've even done anything for myself today. No promises, just a goal. I only have about 15 million of them.

No. 1 on the list: get back into shape
No. 2: get diet back into working order (right now, it's fine, but not great, and I want to improve it)
No. 3: finish reading the Sedona Method (seriously, if you haven't picked it up yet, start chewing on it)
No. 4: Accomplish some of those work goals (at which there is a whole 'nother list)
No. 5: Write something. Anything. Seriously.
No. 6: Sew that blanket for my sister. Follow those up with Barbie clothes for daughter.
No. 7: Take a half hour for myself and journal, or do something non-productive
No. 8: Figure out where I need to save my money towards over the next year
No. 9: Figure out what we're going to do with this summer (need nanny who's willing to do full-time for about $1000 or less, room/board included, live at camp! Know anyone?)
No. 10: The list goes on...

So anyway, I'm starting to get back into the rhythm of working out again. I believe I may have to write something about how hard getting going can be. Lots of stops and starts, false hopes and promises. Didn't help that I actually HATED my gym. Literally. Ew. Talk about creating any excuse under the sun so I didn't have to go. And ME, hating the gym, means it must've been literally the worst gym possible to pick.

I've been working on getting into the routine of working out at home. I bought those lovely kettlebells a little over a year ago, and I'm finally putting them to some regular use. Right now, I'm using the "Iron Core" DVD from GoFit, which is actually a pretty good little vid and workout. I know I've gotten nauseous from using it, which means it's working my anaerobic system pretty good (and I need it too). I'm also supplementing with the Wii Fit. And I downloaded this great little workout music sample from Workout Muse that has Tabata countdowns (20 seconds on, 10 seconds off, repeat 8 times for a 4-minute workout that might make you worship the throne afterward). I've also got a Taebo DVD that I might do one of these days, just to keep myself entertained. I figure in a week or two I'll be bored enough to actually do a workout that I've designed, or a Turbulence Training bodyweight workout. Right now, I'm just working on getting something going and keeping it going. If staring at the tv helps, I'm all for it. It's better than getting distracted by the antics of my daughter, who does almost everything in her power to get the attention she thinks she so richly deserves.

About my daughter: she also loves using the kettlebells ("kettleball"). I've got a 10 lb bell that is a bit too much for her (I'd prefer she had a 3 lb or 5 lb, she only weighs 40 lbs herself!), but she thinks it's the greatest thing since sliced bread to change into her "workout clothes" and do swings with me. After that, though, she generally loses interest, and spends the next 30-40 minutes running around me, standing right in front of me, putting blankets on the floor next to me, or whatever she can possibly think of. Oy. Not as bad as the vid I saw just a few minutes ago, though! Oh my! (Mommy is doing Yoga, and in the middle of it, baby crawls up to her and pulls down her shirt and begins to nurse!) Of course I now cannot remember where I saw it, and can't find it...

So, that's the story, and I'm sticking to it. Scale hated me again today. 166 even (+1.1 pounds from last week). It makes me hate the Wii Fit- whenever you gain weight, it makes you choose a reason. The one I had wasn't on the list: I was wearing my tennis shoes, when generally I don't have any shoes on. Those weigh 1.1 pound, right? I was too lazy to take them off and re-weigh. So, bad news: scale didn't go anywhere. Good news: scale didn't go anywhere. Better to not lose than to gain.

Shyit

2009-02-18T22:47:00.002-06:00

Read this with the lens of weight loss on:

(From Twitter) RT@crazeegeekchick 5 Things you THINK will make you happy (But they won't) http://tinyurl.com/d974te

Wow, the insights I've come to. One thing I didn't mention in the previous blog post is that I'm currently reading "The Sedona Method" by Hale Dwoskin. Absolutely amazing book, and I'm only half-way through (I've been taking my time). I say this because one of my underlying issues lately has been a high level of anxiety and lack of motivation, and since starting this book, I've been not only feeling better but taking more positive action. One of the things he talks about in the book (which you have to get about a third of the way through the other stuff first, which doesn't really make a lot of sense) is how you have three basic wants that are the underlying root of all other emotion: approval, control, and security. It's amazing what releasing on these three wants does for a person. If nothing else, it takes your mind off the "tapes" that you're playing to yourself, so it can be an almost instant mood-changer.

Someday I may have to explain myself on this post, but for now I'm going to leave it and go to bed. And someday you'll also realize that I was once a Psych major, so I know alot of silly Psycho stuff that others don't and generally squeeze up their eyebrows going, "Uh, crazy lady..."

Gud nite!

I'm Pluggin'

2009-02-18T22:03:00.003-06:00

I'm still plugging away, doing my utmost best to go as slowly as is asininely possible. The scale went down to 164 and stopped moving, but right now, the focus is to get some of my fitness back. Man, it's hard to 'fess up to that. But I'm moving. And that's about all I can say about that.

A couple steps forward

2009-01-28T21:55:00.002-06:00

I have been doing fairly well this week, IMO. Really. I may not have been attacking the blog with fervor, but that does not mean I'm not acting!

So far, I've gotten workouts in on Sunday, Mon, and Tue. Not one today, since I didn't get off work until 5:30 and I'm exhausted for some reason (prob. cause I had so much energy from yesterday's workout that I didn't want to go to bed until 12:00 am?). So, note taken. Go to bed on time you hoser. Got it.

I also re-printed out the entire Turbulence Training workout system. I really do love those workouts, they're quick, effective, and customizable (meaning one workout can either blast your muscles to shreds or just leave you shaky, depending on the weight you use). I didn't get to do Intervals afterward. I'm getting real ready to do intervals. One of my latest tools in my workout bag has been the Wii Fit, which has some fairly cool games on it but the strength portion is really lame. I use my kettlebells to help supplement, but the exercises aren't exactly well-balanced (front, back, diagonal movements with push, pull, and squat exercises). A heck of a lot of core exercises though, and a huge focus on improving balance. I can use that. I've always had horrid balance. It's improved slightly since I started working out regularly back in 2002, but boy, it still can use work. So those two things are what I'm mostly doing lately. I'm actually quite glad I'm getting back into the workout area.

I've also been keeping stronger tabs on what I eat, as well as portion sizes. It's the first step to getting everything in order, and the results are beginning to show. The Wii Balance Board has a built-in scale, and I've been getting on it nearly daily lately. It keeps a graph, too. The one thing that doesn't help is that I haven't been getting on at the same time of day, nor am I always wearing the same clothes. So the readings may be slightly off. However, the graph is moving in the right direction, which I'll take as good news and positive reinforcement.

So there it is. I'm actually starting to feel like I'm getting myself in order. It feels really good, as I've really been feeling off-kilter for quite a while now (if you hadn't noticed). It's time to be myself again!

I'm Here, just AWOL

2009-01-22T23:52:00.003-06:00

Getting back into the swing of things this week after last week's 80+ hour work-week. Got in one really amazing workout on Tuesday. Here's to one more if not two, eh?

And yes, getting that close to the Canadian border really does make one start to talk like that *wink and grin* Hoser! (Go watch Strange Brew if you don't understand that reference and then remember that the camp I work for is less than 5 miles away from the Canadian border). So I spent 9 days up at the camp, working a couple of decently hard retreats. This was, of course, on top of already working a full work week and a 60+ hour work week before that. I realized today that I've put in an extra 80 hours over the last four weeks. One of these was a weekend retreat, Saturday to Monday, where we had 90 people at a camp that technically has the capacity to sleep 50 (shh, no reporting please!). I was in the kitchen for much of that. Funny that I can cook and cook and not get hungry, in fact I see it only as some object that I'm working with and not as food. But when I sit down at the table, some weird mechanism kicks in where I get anxious that I won't get enough to eat. It's really strange, and something I've been fighting since starting this job. It may have something (okay it does have something) to do with control.

I like control. I like to be in control of myself, and am scared when I'm about to perceive that I'm going to lose it. Hence part of the reason why I've had such a difficult time these last months- I put a lot of my life out of control! So, I've been fighting that, and attempting to work through it. I get one piece under control, and another slips- a bit like a puzzle whose pieces are just slightly too big to fit. I can't really describe anything about it really well right now- it's midnight and my brain has shut down.

I just wanted you to know I'm still here, not off the wagon, but not holding the reins either. It's still strange, I feel like things are on the up-and-up. I hit rock bottom. I'm going the only way I can right now, and that's to better ground and better times. Now, if only I could get those puzzle pieces to fit...

By the way, my baby girl turned 5 years old today (on the 22nd)! I'm still having trouble grasping that one!

Part two officially kicking off?

2009-01-08T18:29:00.002-06:00

Well, sometime in between writing my last blog post and the next morning, I had an epiphany of sorts. It's been building for a while, but some of it came after reading Will's recent New Year's posts. The realization is basically impossible to put into words, but just know that I'm truly making the turn-around. I'm going nuts on veggies, and using Billy's advice to stay slightly hungry. I've also committed to working out, or at least staying highly active. I'm hoping the regular workout will happen soon, but right now I'm just trying to get in major movement at least for 30 minutes every day. So, after the downward spiral that was happening, and then the plateau that nearly slid back into a downward spiral, I'm back on the up and up. I'm going to need a challenge soon.

Anyone else up for that?

Happy New Year's Resolutions!

2009-01-05T21:35:00.003-06:00

I'm back (for a couple of days anyway)!

I had a great week last week, I learned how to snowshoe, cross-country ski, and play broomball (think a cross between hockey and soccer using broomsticks instead of hockey sticks and shoes instead of ice). All of them, lots of fun, lots of movement. I'm still sore.

It also showed me when and where I feel out of shape. Walking up hills, after long repetitive movements. Not after 10 minutes, or twenty minutes. I snowshoed for 4 hours- it hurt, but only in my hip flexors. I wasn't out of breath. I cross-country skiied for two hours- got my heart-rate up, kept a conversation going, got up some speed. No problem. I played broomball for an hour and a half. Got tired, wasn't doing as many sprints toward the end as I was in the beginning, but it wasn't difficult.

Nope. I was walking up the damn hill that got me pooped.

I'm also still eating too much, but I'm working toward it being the higher-quality foods again. Man, I can't wait until I get back under control. The funny thing is, I'm such a big believer in what you believe is how things are. I'm trying my damndest to try and believe I can change what's going on, but it's not happening. Oy.

I'm moving in the right direction though, so I believe I'll get there. I need to, and soon.

I WILL break that face!

2008-12-27T21:15:00.004-06:00

We got a Wii for Christmas, and after returning home from our vacation last night, we hooked it up and went to town. Lot's of fun so far! My hubby is doing great at keeping me accountable, he wouldn't let me sit down at all while playing ;). The Force Unleashed is great for a slight cardio workout, and Boxing really does get the heart rate up. I loved punching the boxing dude in the face. ;) I'm in the process of obtaining a Wii Fit (as soon as I can find one), and I plan on using that as an adjunct in my workouts.

Rip also suggested a couple weeks ago that I dust off my kettlebells, so they're going to come out of the closet and admit they're hard-asses.

I am going to be heading up to camp this week for work, so I'll be AWOL on the blog (limited internet access). However, I plan to be constantly moving. I'll also see if I can't get in a couple of actual workouts on the side.

Food is in an interesting spot right now. Not one I can describe. If I do, I may end up diving into a bunch of chocolate. Let's just say I'm working really hard on not blaming, feeling guilty, or otherwise beating myself up. I plan to work on accepting and moving on. It's tough, but it's also why I'm working on it. The rest will follow, as it always does.

Eh, Not Great

2008-12-19T20:35:00.002-06:00

So, the track record for my first week on part Two: not so great. I got in exactly one good workout, and the same number of blog posts. Of course I'm mad, I want to be accountable, but I'm finding one good stumbling block after another. It tells me a few things: one, I'm not quite there yet in being ready to change, and two: I still want the easy route. And I'm now officially on vacation for the next week. Ah, see the excuses forming in my brain?

Six months ago nothing could keep me down. Now, not so much. It's going to be a long ride turning this around, so sit back and don't get too excited. I absolutely hate the thought that I am potentially going to be "another" one of those New Years Resolutioners- "I'll do better come the first". Egh. No way, no how.

So, we'll see what I can do over the next two weeks to get around that!

Yesterday

2008-12-16T11:05:00.002-06:00

I like to read. I do it alot. In fact, right now I like to do it more than surf the internet. :D

So that's what I did last night instead of posting, but here I am! I got a decent workout in at the gym, although I had a sinus headache the whole time (my metaphor for the -14 degree weather plus windchill: When I breathe, I get the ice cream headache without the benefit of the ice cream!).

I also decided to find a scale. It was sobering. It registered 168. Twenty pounds since May. Wow, how hard we fall. So, I'll just continue the process of picking myself back up and dusting off. I'm not setting any weightloss goals for right now, just the goal of getting in a workout nearly every day. The food will follow, and then the weight.

So, I'm back in the saddle and feeling good. I won't get in a workout tonight, but I'll be there tomorrow!

The Newest Post

2008-12-14T21:47:00.003-06:00

It's time to post again. Now that I haven't got anyone following me, right? Ah well my own fault.

I've definitely had a hard time of it the last few months on the weight maintenance front- too much wanting to eat everything in sight, too little control. I'm not really sure how bad- my fall has been hard to admit, least of all to the perfectionist side of myself. Let's just say I can't wear as many of my clothes as I'd like, but I haven't had to go out and buy new ones.

I've been taking small, tentative steps in the right direction, but I hesitate to say I'm back yet. I'm scared that if I say it, I'll find a million reasons to fail.

Here though, are a bunch of reasons why I really want to be back to "normal" (at least, what "normal" was back in May, before the move):
--I miss my biceps. Yes, there's no longer any muscle definition there, and it saddens me. I want them back. Lots of push-ups are in order. (Forget biceps curls, they don't use enough muscles to burn calories.)
--I miss wearing all my clothes. I'm sick of being scared I won't be able to wear the next item I put on.
--My self-esteem has taken a dive, I'm more scared to go after life again. Ugh.
--Anyone who's ever been overweight knows how hard it is to move. It's easy to ignore when you're big, and it's easy to forget once you're no longer big, but when the weight comes back on and you notice it, OMG. Forget that! I am ready to move easily again!
--If I can't lift a canoe come May, I'm screwed. Period. I can't work for a canoe camp and not be able to solo-lift a canoe. Ain't gonna happen. I know it was getting tough in September, which means that I was heading downhill back then.
--I'm getting varicose veins! They're ugly! They're only going to be worse if I've got extra fat hanging around.

So, here's to the makeover. I'm going to makeover this blog, and myself, and start from scratch. I'm calling this:

The Afterburn Effect: Part Two
Back to the Burn

I don't plan on it being easy. It's going to take a lot of stuff on my part. It might take awhile, too. But I'll be back. And I'm posting. Even if it's a sentence, I'm going back to posting daily. I've got to keep myself accountable!

How did that happen?

2008-10-28T22:02:00.002-05:00

One of the things that has always bugged me about getting "fit" was the intense focus that the fitness community tends to have toward running. Mostly, it bugged me because I couldn't do it. Anyone who's read my blog for a while knows it tends to tweak my hip and cause issues. So, even though I didn't mind doing it, the pain afterward (or during) was too much to handle.

All right, so what happened? Most of my cardio lately has been running. Without ANY issues (well, sort of). At least, none from aforementioned hip.

Strange. My body did a lot of strange things this last summer, like stopped hurting almost entirely- I haven't (knocking on wood) been to a chiropractor since May. It stopped hurting almost the instant I got up to the Northwoods to start my new job. It was really odd. But I'm thankful for it!

So here's to a thankful post, because I did a run today. Fun, all-out intervals. Yep, intervals were fun. *grin*

My sanity may have gone with the pain when it took off... LOL.

The Snow Fell. And so did I.

2008-10-27T22:00:00.002-05:00

We got snow here yesterday, and my co-workers up in the Northwoods say they woke up to snow on the ground this morning. Oy, winter always comes too fast!

I got a great workout in today. I changed a heckuva lot of my mindset this past Friday, and all I needed to do was one thing - get outta my own damn head. I'd been having trouble getting to my workouts for this excuse or another, the biggest one being that my work schedule depends on three things: my daughter's patience, the amount of work I have on my desk that can be done at home, and traffic. Traffic's the big one I think ;). So here I was, giving excuses for not stopping at the gym on my way home because I usually have my daughter with me, and not even giving her the option of hanging out at the Kid's Club provided by the gym. HELLO. I signed up there because they had childcare and a better price/more locations than most of the gyms around here. So Friday, all I needed to do was decide that I'd go for her benefit, because she'd love to hang out and play there. Naturally, they don't have kids club on Fridays. So, I went on Saturday.

And she loved it.

One small change in my thinking, and whallah- there's nothing standing in my way of a good workout anymore.

Sheesh. I'm thinking it's time we got out of our heads more often!

Back to the Blogging Board

2008-10-25T16:17:00.002-05:00

I realize my blogs have been pretty nonexistent lately. It's how a lot of my life has felt, as I've been working hard to adjust to the new city, new job, living with my husband full-time, etc. It's not something that comes up often in social weight-loss circles, but it needs to be dealt with:

CHANGE.

It happens. Whether it's a new job, the loss of a current one, the birth of a child, or whatever. People talk about change all the time - about how we want it, because we're sick of where we're at currently - but when it actually happens, we kick and scream like a toddler denied her favorite treat.

It's one of my theories as to why so few people actually succeed at beginning weight loss. To be unhappy with where you're at is one thing; to change enough of the habits that got you to where you're at is another. Kick and scream all the way to the fast-food joint.

However, when in the weight-loss portion or even while maintaining, change can really screw with the results of that too. When we experience change, we may want to go back to something familiar and comfortable. For me, that something comfortable was just to spend as much time with my family as possible (and of course, eating with them- and my husband eats a lot, something I hadn't needed to deal with when we were living apart during the week).

Part of that means I've been lucky to get in two workouts a week. My eating also had a pretty big downhill slide for a while, but it's been getting back under control. I think it's because I'm starting to get used to the changes that happened. I don't need as much of the comfort as I needed before, and I can "strike out" on my own again. So I am starting to feel more like "my old self" or at least, the self I was prior to the big move.

It could also be that my husband went on a business trip this week, so it really does feel like it did before.

However, my point is that when change happens, you've got to do what works until you get used to your new life. Maintain what you can. But also, accept the change as positive and good, because something amazing will come of it. And then see how you can move forward with it.

I'm finally back to the point where I can move forward again, and boy am I glad of that. I didn't like going backward.

Complaining Done. On to Postive me again.

2008-09-30T21:35:00.002-05:00

Alright, I realize the last two posts of mine absolutely sucked the life out of anyone reading them. So, I'm not going to complain anymore. Yay!

I got to the gym two times last week. So far, I've gotten to the gym two times this week. I plan on hitting it again tomorrow, so I'm on a roll :) The workouts are helping me feel better, and I'm liking having a focused place to go to and work out in again. I need to convince the Bally's to open up some space tho- so much taken up by machines, and none for free bell work. Hmm.

So I mentioned a couple of weeks ago how I wasn't liking my first e-book too much, which is silly of me. It's time to fix the problem and love it up. I had my husband go through it with a fine-toothed comb, and he found what was bugging me so bad about it. Now just to implement the changes. The funny thing is, right after he read it, he wanted to go work out :D So it's doing something right!

Bally's: Great Marketing, Blah Facilities

2008-09-26T20:08:00.003-05:00

Last week Thursday, I walked into a Bally's facility and walked out with a membership. Soul-selling aside, I wasn't terribly impressed. I got the membership because they have two facilities that are close to where I live, which is better than anything else I'd have to drive out of the way for. I keep kicking myself now. The Gold's Gym that seemed too far away feels like such a better option. It was so much more open, prettier, had a much better kid's club, and isn't really out of the way on the route I'm taking to work now (it was before I knew about this route, which is why I didn't sign up then). The Bally's facilities are nothing like their marketing. It's a study in having great marketing people and bad interior designers. The interiors are closed-feeling and covered in dark paint, the kid's club requires a 24-hour advance sign-up and only has one supervisor (who appears to always be sitting at her desk), and the equipment is oldish and packed in too tightly. Not to mention that there isn't much choice in what kind of machine you use. I can handle that in a dinky gym like my last one, but even my gym prior to that had an arc trainer, stair mill, treadmills, steps, etc.

So, I've got the option of dropping that membership in two months. I may do so, but until then, I'm going to plug away at the place. I went to a TurboKick class this last week, which is a bit like kickboxing. I'll try the Kwando Strike class next week.

I should really stop complaining and just work out. I'm not back into my size 8 jeans yet after this summer, and while my endurance seems to be at an awesome level, my muscular strength is about zero (I haven't gotten to any weight training yet, just cardio- I'm easing back into things). I'm ready to whip myself back into shape!

Still Finding my Feel

2008-09-17T21:31:00.002-05:00

I can tell I'm still trying to adjust to my new "town" and job. I have settled into some weird semblance of a routine, but I don't really like it. Having to make 40 hours in a week is draining. I can't believe ppl do 50 or even 80.

Part of the drain is the time in the car- I'm now spending anywhere between 25 minutes to 1.5 hours in the car both morning and evening. No, that's not a partial drain, that's a full drain. I get home after that 1 to 1.5 hour hurry up and wait drive and am so keyed up I can barely think straight. A couple of times now, my husband has strapped workout clothes on me and pushed me out the door.

I love my job, but those drives make even that get nearly outweighed.

This city is just absolutely amazing- there is no subway system, no through-way system, no way to alleviate the traffic. And people LOVE living here? They must live close enough to work to use the skyway system (a system of indoor walking paths that actually exist in place of a coherent mass transit system, and only exists downtown).

Taking a deep breath. Wow.

At any rate, I'm going to have to investigate doing more work from home, and driving during the traffic off-hours. And getting a regular workout.

They've been very sporadic lately. However, I told the guy at Bally's (who called me tonight) that I'd show up tomorrow sometime between 3 and 6 pm. So I will now have a place to go, get focused, and get in the groove. Whew. I may get more done if I do that!

Supposed to be a Quick One

2008-09-14T22:09:00.003-05:00

Well, my idea of loving myself seems to be coming to fruition. I'm not only feeling better about myself, but I'm eating what I want and my clothes are fitting great. It's kinda weird.

I don't know that I've described it too much, but I brought it up in my blog earlier this week- how, truthfully, most people who are overweight hate themselves in some capacity or another. Ripx said in the comments that "hate" is a pretty powerful word. It is, and that's why I use it. If you really look at why human beings have fat stores, it's because our bodies are just trying to be good to us- to save up for that famine. So you can't hate your body for doing what it's supposed to be doing. Except we do. We hate that "weak" part of ourselves that let us "get fat" in the first place. We dislike how society has created this net around us of fast food and overbooked schedules. We hate that society expects us to be thin but constantly wants us to buy. We don't like how, if we lose weight, we still feel fat compared to the "beautiful people" or the people with abs. We hate how disgust overwhelms us when we look at ourselves in the mirror, or see an obese person on the street.

There's no love there. I think it's time to change.

It's time to start loving ourselves. For who we are RIGHT NOW. It's time to give appreciation to our bodies for being so wonderful to us- for allowing us to move, to think, to interact with others. It's time to ask your body for forgiveness for all the negative feelings you've had toward it. It's time to apologize.

So what have I been doing?

Since prior to reading "Zero Limits" by Dr. Joe Vitale, I've been saying four simple sentences- to God, to myself, and now, to my body. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I Love You." I've been peeling my own onion, so to speak, taking off the layers and the years of negative thoughts surrounding fat and food, the guilt and the shame. It's taking time. I'm not doing it overnight; there's a lot of layers there. A lot of predjudice and stereotypes. However, when I find myself feeling disgust for my body or seeing someone on the street, I immediately start playing the four sentences in my brain. Over and over. Because there's something I don't want to be, and that's the contributor to all the shame, guilt, and hate that surrounds obesity. But because I notice it, then I am somehow a contributor. It is now my problem, so I take responsibility. It's not the other person's fault that I feel disgust, it's mine. It's not my body's fault, it's mine. It's time to start loving. So that's what I'm doing.

I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.

Ahhh...owch!

2008-09-10T22:01:00.002-05:00

Got my first concentrated workout in yesterday for the first time in a long while. It felt so good. I also convinced myself that I definitely am not out of shape! My muscles are pretty surprised though, they are sore today.

I went somewhat easy on the workout, but I didn't wimp out. I did 10 minutes of warm-up (bodyweight squats, full-body push-ups, the hamstring exercise I can't remember the name to, but pretty much involves laying on the floor, lifting your butt, and sticking out one leg- it really puts a nice charlie horse in the ham!). After that, I did 5 minutes of kettlebell swings with a 25 lb bell, then did 20 minutes on the treadmill with 1 minute running and 2 minutes walking. Running wasn't too hard, I could tell that my exercise this summer focused more on endurance and less on sprint-type exercises. That would have been the long trail walks, up and down hills and around rocks, and the long paddles in the canoe. And to think, I hadn't even been focusing on the endurance thing.

I also keep thinking about the whole maintenance issue, and wonder about it. I maintained my weight this summer, despite eating a heckuva lot of food (it was in constant abundance, and I'll talk about some of my emotional issues with it later). However, at one point during the summer, I became irrationally scared that I had gained 10 pounds, and my body responded by looking like it had. I got home, worked through a couple of things, and my body went back to pre-summer (in less than a week).

So, here's what I'm thinking: I think there's a huge, underlying issue that virtually gets ignored by anyone who is trying to lose weight. And most of it has to do with how we feel about ourselves in THIS MOMENT. Generally, if we're losing weight (or trying to lose weight), it's because we hate ourselves on some level. And if we're scared of gaining weight back, it's because we hate ourselves on some level. And if we've come to a standstill in the whole weight-loss process, then it's because we hate ourselves on some level. Actually, I think that one means we hate ourselves on a lot of levels. And if you hate me for saying this, then look into yourself. Ask yourself honestly.

Honestly, I'm still working through it myself, so we'll see where it goes. Like I said, I read "Zero Limits" and "The Key" this summer. The book I'm writing in spurts forced me to go back to childhood and high school memories that I had buried pretty deep, and made me a bit sick to think about and sift through. These were memories that I had used, on some level, to keep me going during the hard times of weight loss. However, they were also the ones that were keeping me from finding peace with myself, and caused me to irrationally fear that I had gained 10 pounds (and my body reacted to that fear by presenting it in a physical manner). Once I worked through some of that, my body shed those 10 pounds pretty much overnight. There's alot to this mind-body stuff, and I'm still learning and figuring it out. I'll likely be writing more about it as I work through it.

As it is, I've come to one conclusion: food is a matter of thought. It is what you think of it, and your body will react in the way you truly believe it will (under the surface. You know, that gut feeling you get). Society has programmed many things into us, and I'm starting to believe there's an underlying structure to humankind in and of itself, that isn't based just on this generation of society, but all of history. It gets pretty thick.

Anyway, that's enough philosophy for me!

We downloaded Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl from RiffTrax (think Mystery Science Theater 3000 without the robots), and I've been trying to watch that and write at the same time. I don't think it's working- till later!

Jumping Back In

2008-09-07T14:45:00.003-05:00

Well, I'm back in civilization, as we all call it. It was an amazing summer for me, but also one that has left me with more questions than answers.

Since my internet access was either slow or nonexistent for most of the summer, I realize that I've got a lot of updating to do! First things first:

*We ended up in St. Paul, MN. Cute little neighborhood, right smack in the middle of the city/suburbs.
*My job is absolutely wonderful. Lots of logistics, customer relations, communication, with the added benefit of spending entire summers in the Northwoods of MN. Strangely enough, it does have a lot to do with fitness, but I'm in the admin part, so I am currently not training anyone.
*Moving to the city means finding a new gym. I've currently got a trial membership at Gold's Gym, but it's 15 minutes in the wrong direction, so I'm looking at a Bally's that's on the way to work. There's a huge part of me that wants to stay as far away from the chains as possible, but another that wants the classes aspect, such as cardio karate and Zumba. The only other gym I've found on the way to work that isn't a chain, and appeals to me, is a regular gym without all the frills. There is an amazing shortage of gyms in the St. Paul area. So for anyone who wants to start a gym, it's an open market! On the gym note, I also found a kettlebell class. $15 per class or $120 per month. I may have to go with the $15/class option.
*During the summer, I read "Zero Limits" and "The Key", both by Joe Vitale. I highly highly recommend both. The Law of Attraction on crack, and it works- if nothing else, I feel better about myself! I will be talking about both more later.
*The comfort I had found with my current weight and body shape last spring, fairly solidified over the summer. I think I've gained some weight, and I know I've lost muscle because I haven't been lifting heavy (although canoes do count...), but so far it's not a bad weight. I just want to get back to working out in a gym regularly because I love working out.
*I'm also working on an idea, based on the "Zero Limits" book, about clearing the obesity epidemic. There's not much behind the idea yet, but I'm working on it.
*I'm also writing another book, geared towards teenage girls. So far I'm liking it 20x better than my first book, which probably says something about my first book.

So the questions that remain are, do I want to continue training people? I go back and forth on it. I think the experience is good, and I enjoyed doing it. However, I do have a full-time job and a family, and I'm no longer in school- I sort of want to enjoy the extra time I've got on my hands. So that's what I'm left with.

I've got some catching up on other blogs to do!

Very Quick

2008-06-10T16:20:00.002-05:00

It's been nearly a month since my last post! Hi! How are all of you??

Well, here's my crazy life lately:
I moved up to northern MN for the summer, and am living in great primitive backwoods style. While my new job involves working on the computer nearly every day, I have so much work to do that I'm lucky to come up for air at lunch. I'm loving it.

My workouts have not been so hot lately, mostly because I haven't made the time for them. However, last week we went on a 4.5 day canoe trip, which involved a lot of hard portaging (carrying canoes and big-ol' packs from lake to lake through woods, over boulders and through streams). It was a lot of fun, and it thoroughly tested my endurance (which definitely needs work!). I believe I will be getting into more of a daily workout pretty soon.

I'm hoping I'll get more time to post, but I'm not making any promises. Haven't checked anyone's blogs yet either, so I hope everyone's doing okay!

A Running Leap

2008-05-13T21:05:00.002-05:00

After last week's apathy, I'm thinking I feel better today. I had a nice interval workout on the treadmill, keeping more of an eye on my running form than attempting to run fast or hard. I clocked 2.41 miles in 34 minutes. Not bad, considering that I wasn't even sure if my body (hip and foot) would allow me to run at all. It was the first run I've had in about 2 months, and it didn't hurt much at all. I'm debating between swinging my kettlebell around or packing for the rest of this evening.

The nicest part about this workout was that it was something that was just for fun- no pressure, no berating myself for missing the last week of workouts, no extreme muscular exhaustion from a workout that was too hard yesterday. It put the activity back into physical activity. It also made me realize how hard I have been pushing myself lately, and it's no wonder I was fatigued and apathetic.

Leaving the nutrition alone has worked well too. Yes, I'm having regular servings of ice cream, but I'm also eating 2-4 servings of veggies in one meal alone.

On the moving front, I'm up and leaving on next week Wednesday. I'll probably be awol for awhile, we'll see what internet connection is like. I'll go crazy if I have to go without internet too long. My job is an office job, so I should have some access. Even if I am living in a very primitive environment (outhouses, baby!). I'm excited, I love the Boundary Waters Canoe Area.

Well, I think packing is going to win out. My bookshelves have got to get done.

What am I thinking?

2008-05-07T22:55:00.002-05:00

Right now, the pressure is off. I have realized that I've been putting way too much stress on myself what with orals, the move, a rummage sale, the weather, lingering injuries, etc, AND added diet and exercise on top of that. So, earlier this week, I did some thinking, and part of that thinking led me to believe that I need to let go of some things. The biggest one being that I think I have to be perfect with my diet.

Let's face it. The more "perfect" I try to get with my diet, the more I start to sabotage in some way, shape or form. If I start playing with ratios, grams, attempting to increase protein, I find that I'm more likely to charge into the junk food, or I hit a "weekend" mentality thing. So I'm giving that up. I know how to eat healthy. I do it without thinking about it. I should, since I've been practicing it for years. So, I know that I need to just let it go, and allow my "habits" to take over these next few weeks. I am aware that I do not eat well enough to get to the bikini body. However, considering how hard my body has been fighting me to get there in the first place, I may just have to sit back and do a re-estimation (is that a word?). I look good in clothes. My hubby can't keep his hands off me (TMI?). My family is jealous. I can wear a size 8 jean. The only thing I don't have going for me is that I don't have that svelte, lean, bikini body I really want. That's it. Uno problemo.

So the question after that becomes, how do I want to approach that? Do I just want to say, "hack it- I'm settling into maintenance mode for the first time intentionally", or do I say, "wait until things settle down," or do I say "keep pushing through this"? I haven't decided that one yet. I do know that I've been passing up workout times to do other things. I haven't even been blogging regularly. My to-do list is longer than my arm. So, we'll see where this goes.

Not a good post for the others. I realize the FAT coalition is struggling right now, and I'm being just one more blog that isn't "hacking it". I'm just thinking that I really do need to take a break. I promised myself that one back in January, and it didn't happen. I've only stagnated since then, so I think that it may be what I need. I'll keep posting as long as I have internet access, so don't worry, I won't go nowhere!

Where's Carrie?

2008-05-05T22:28:00.003-05:00

I'm here, I'm alive, although I'm not sure I'm too healthy right now. I've been working on a whole slew of things, and the crunch time is happening a lot quicker than I'd like. So, even though graduation was this weekend, I'm not done yet. I have an exam tomorrow night, and Orals (defense) are scheduled for May 16, which is also the day I should have most of my house packed up. I'm finishing up my job, and clients. I'm working on my book in little bitty pieces so I can have a re-release and cancel my subscription for Fitness Generator, which is a good little animated exercise generator, but not worth $37/month.

I've been fighting something off for the last couple of days, so no workout today. Decently healthy food today, although I'm trying to restrict cals a little more than usual because I really feel like I ate too much this last weekend- too much partying. A lot of it was junk food too, which my body really is not used to anymore.

If there's anything else it's going to have to wait until tomorrow. I'm going to bed.

Wednesday

2008-04-30T23:07:00.002-05:00

Food:
B-3 pancakes, 1/2 cup blueberries
S1-granola bar
L-hamburger in veggie tomato sauce
Supper-3 cups PB Cap'n Crunch w/ milk

Workout:
None

Today was whack. Lunch was late, so afternoon snack skipped. Somehow went haywire at supper time and ended up eating my weight in cereal. No workout, not even really time for one. Bit busy right now, setting up a big shin-dig at our place on Sat, training clients, finishing up school, and finding out that my graduate school is stupid when it comes to graduation ceremonies. Long story short- I'm not walking across the stage. Grr.

I'm still sore from Monday's workout. Time to go ice and fall asleep.

Twitter-cise

2008-04-29T21:43:00.002-05:00

Scott Tousignant set up a wonderful new site yesterday called "Twittercise- Workouts as Short as Your Tweets." Now, if you haven't had the pleasure of trying Twitter yet, it's time to get on. It's fun, cute, and you get to learn all those little details of people's lives that they decide to post. Great way of bringing "gurus" back down off those pillars we tend to put them on.

With Twitter, you get short little messages all day long from the people you're following (not in your email inbox, thank goodness, but on the site itself). You can write short little messages too, all based off the question, "What are you doing?" Plus you can "tweet" back and forth with people, too.

So back to Twitter-cise: literally, Scott's developing workouts that are short and sweet, and it's based around a community of people. Pretty cool. Click on the links above to see what I mean.

Food today:
B- 1 cup Curves cereal (expensive bran flakes), 2 eggs
S1-granola bar
L-Jimmy John's Slim 5 (1/2 a sub)
S2-JJ Slim 5 (1/2 a sub)
Supper-1 hamburger w/ bun and ketchup, 1/2 slice watermelon, 3 prunes
S3-apple, 2 slices cheese

Workout: 30 min. elliptical, 20 min HIIT 1 min on/2 min off (Level 10 resistance/Level 3 resistance)

For a Laugh

2008-04-28T22:32:00.002-05:00

Workout today: K1, Taebo cardio (new and cool)
Food:
B-4 pancakes w/ blueberries
L-Hamburger with tomato sauce and veggies (onion, cauliflower, peppers, carrots)
S-Apple and Cheese
Supper-2 pancakes w/ blueberries, 2 eggs, 1/2 slice watermelon
S-bowl of Curves cereal, milk

Back on track. Feeling good, although the foot is easily aggravated. Got two new workout vids on Sunday and tried one out tonight. Likey.

I've been Twittering too much. Can only think in short sentences.

Wishing it were Spring

2008-04-25T21:14:00.002-05:00

One to two feet.

Of SNOW.

In SD.

Last reports said it was April 25.

------------------------------------

Honestly, it's insane. We have now had 3 snow days in the past month and a half, which is 3 more than we had the entire winter. So you may now guess what my workout was today.

It started by raining much of the day yesterday, which didn't make me happy because I was supposed to have a garage sale this Saturday and I was scared it would make our driveway unpass-able. Hee, hee, should have been the least of my worries, as it started sleeting this morning, and snowing in earnest by 10 am. By 3 pm, which is when we ventured outside, it was up to the top of my boots in some places, and up to the knees in others. I do believe it's still going at it outside. Wow.

Pannekoekens Anyone?

2008-04-23T15:38:00.004-05:00

Alright, so I hope no one tried the pancake recipe I posted the other day, because it was wrong! I made them again this morning and noticed that I should have consulted the book when I typed it out. So, here it is:

(First off, I spelled/said it wrong- Pannekoeken- pann-a-kuk-en)

Recipe (serves 3-6):
6 eggs, beaten
2 cups milk
1/2 tsp. salt (EDIT: I accidentally put flour here, it's supposed to be salt)
1/2 cup flour

Add milk and salt to eggs. Using fast whisk, slowly add in flour. Grill on hot grill (I used a small skillet) using butter (I used cooking spray, just make sure it has a high smoke point). I also added some sugar to sweeten them up a bit. 1-2 tbsp does the trick. Halving the recipe, or doubling it, works very well.

As for this week, it has been utterly crazy. My great-grandmother passed away, and while it was time for her to go and it hasn't been too emotional for me, it still has left a crazy schedule in its wake, with traveling and family obligations. I don't feel like I've gotten back on track yet.

I've been avoiding workouts this week, as my left foot is being a complete pain in the- well, you get the point. I've been trying to stay off it. Fifteen minutes on the elliptical yesterday was about enough to put me in tears. It's progressively been getting worse. Even the massage this morning on it didn't seem to do much. True to reflexology point of view, it's also doing a good job of messing up other things in my body. Not cool. So, interesting week so far.

I'm hoping to get a bike ride in later, if the wind doesn't push me over when I get out there. Man, I'm wishing I'd had time to get out this morning, it was beautiful then.

Culinary Experiences

2008-04-20T20:13:00.003-05:00

Well, today was a day of new culinary experiences for me, and boy were they good! For breakfast, I made a traditional Dutch pancake (Pannoekens) for the first time- the first half of the batch didn't look so hot, but by the end I had it down to a fine science. Top it with fresh fruit/jelly and/or maple syrup, and it is absolutely delicious. Powdered sugar would probably be good too, but I didn't try it. Recipe below. For supper, we had Dak Galbi, a Korean dish that was good and spicy. The spice reminded me of curry, but it definitely wasn't. I'm not even sure I want to try on the recipe, since a friend made it and I was just in charge of the vegetables. We also tried roasted garlic for the first time, and there's an addiction waiting to happen!

Here's the Pannoeken recipe (think Crepes, but with a higher egg content): EDIT: SEE ABOVE POST FOR CORRECT RECIPE, THIS ONE IS INCORRECT
1/2 cup flour
6 eggs
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup sugar

Beat eggs, then beat in milk and sugar. Slowly, but with a fast whisk, add the flour. Heat a pan to medium high heat (small skillets are good, because this stuff spreads), although a grill works. Using butter or cooking spray with a high smoke point, ready the pan, then place 1/4-1/2 cup in the skillet (you want a very thin covering, not more than 3/8 inch thick). Cook until top is no longer spreading, then flip.

Ways to further the enjoyment: add vanilla flavoring. Add cinnamon. Top with fruit syrup/compote. Use a berry jelly or maple syrup. Walnuts or almonds would be good on top. Etc. Note the high protein to carb content, which is much better than regular pancakes, but it takes a bit to get the hang of how thick to make the Pannoeken. There's a wonderful buttermilk taste to them, even though there is no buttermilk in them.

Saturday Morning

2008-04-19T09:05:00.003-05:00

Thursday's log:
B- 2 eggs, over easy, w/ bit of butter; 2/3 cup FiberOne cereal w/ 1/2 cup milk
S1-Strawberry protein shake w/ whey protein, milk, and strawberries
L-rest of Asian stir fry, 1 slice choc cake (fought hard to not eat a second one, but I did it)
Fast, beginning @ noon
Workout: KBW, HIIT 20 min elliptical

Friday's log:
Fast until noon
L-PBJ sandwich, apple, 8 oz milk, 1 slice choc cake
S2-1 oz cheese, palmful pumpkin seeds
Supper-Jimmy Johns Slim 5 sandwich, 1/4 sm. bag BBQ chips, 20 oz diet coke
S3-1 slice choc cake, banana, 4 prunes
Workout: packing for rummage sale, swordplay

So that chocolate cake was my bane this week. I should have tossed it out, but instead I tossed it down my gullet this week. Lesson learned. No more baked goodies!

I went swimsuit shopping yesterday and walked out disgusted with myself. More because I'm not where I want to be, and I've just been fighting myself and letting me win more often than not lately, than because I didn't find a suit I liked. The suit choices around here are insanely small. I'm gonna have to get down to SF to find one and have any choices. At any rate, I won't allow myself to go shopping again until May 15 or so.

I also need to stop fighting with myself. Just make the meal plan, follow it like a zombie, and throw out any food that might tempt me. I liked the week of tough workouts. Felt a bit worn down, so I know that I won't be able to do it too much longer, but I believe I will definitely keep it up this coming week.

As for right now, I'm on a weekend. Don't allow my hubby to talk me into bad eating choices. More packing, getting ready for a rummage sale, etc. Here I go!

What I tell clients...

2008-04-17T10:08:00.003-05:00

What I tell clients if this occurs:
-scale stays the same or within 5 pounds of normal
-clothes fit fine
-no difference can really be seen in the body
BUT
-measurements go up one inch in most places

I'd tell them that they worked out really hard the day before and are most likely retaining water in their muscles.

Do I believe that when I tell MYSELF that, after it occurs?

I'm trying, I really really am.

The fact is, though, that I'm ticked. I go to measure myself today for the first time since mid-February (first mistake), and all the measurements at waist and below are up by .5-1". I even re-measured, just to make sure I wasn't hitting the wrong spots. So, second mistake: measuring myself the day after a hard-core workout. Third mistake: I definitely have not been strict enough with my eating. I do great for a few days or a few meals, then I either overeat or make a bad food choice. I haven't been getting in post-workout shakes (mistake #4). I've been doing more shoddy with the eating-6-times-per-day thing, and I haven't made a meal plan in about two weeks. Man, off to a great start, aren't I?

It's only 10 pounds, but apparently I want it to be the easy ten pounds, because that's how I've been treating it. And it's not. It's the toughest, most hard-ass ten pounds I've ever seen, and it's hard for me to lose weight in the first place! I've been attempting to out-train a crappy diet again, which kinda makes me laugh because a "bad day" in my norm is having one thing out of the ordinary. I'm posting meals again. If I get off it, tell me to post again, and that you forgive me for having a "bad eating day."

Oy. All right. Rant over.

So, yesterday:
Food:
B-2 over-easy eggs w/ bit of butter; 2 WW flaxseed waffles w/ strawberries & syrup
S1-apple and peanut butter
L-Large lettuce salad w/ 1 tbsp cheese & 1 tbsp ranch dressing; 1 breadstick; 1 slice pepperoni pizza; 1 slice dessert pizza
S2-piece chocolate cake
Supper-Asian stir-fry with more vegges
S3-piece chocolate cake

Workout:
K1 workout, normal weights
HIIT, 1 min on/2 min off- .5 mile on the treadmill (w/ 2 intervals), 20 min bike (6 intervals, I believe)
Steady State- bike, level 6, speed 14-16 mph, 20 min
30-min circuit, lightened weights
1/2 hour stretching
(yes, it literally was 2 hours in the gym, started at 4:15 and left at 6:20)

Today's plan:
B- 2 eggs, over easy, w/ bit of butter; 2/3 cup FiberOne cereal w/ 1/2 cup milk
S1-Strawberry protein shake w/ whey protein, milk, and strawberries
L-rest of Asian stir fry
Fast, beginning @ noon
Workout: KBW, HIIT 20 min elliptical

Tomorrow's plan:
Fast until noon
L-Tuna on Ry Krisp, steamed veggies (1 cup)
S2-steamed veggies (1 cup), 2 hardboiled eggs
Supper-chicken parmesan w/ marinara sauce, veggies, potatoes
S3-whey protein pudding, butterscotch
Workout: K2, KBW

If you aren't asleep yet, at least I've got it written down for my benefit. And it's posted so I'll stay accountable. Now, to go get my morning snack.

Doh!

2008-04-15T21:31:00.003-05:00

You know things are a bit crazy when you wonder if the last time you posted was a week ago. Oy. (I posted yesterday for those who didn't notice)

I got in two great workouts yesterday- my K1 workout (the one I designed myself and still have yet to post here, sorry! it's a good one, too) and the 30-minute circuit. During the circuit, I have explosive pause squats on there, and if you're lucky, you get to have them be first. If you're not so lucky, they're last. (Explosive pause squats are those where you squat down, hold it for ~3 sec, then come up fast enough to get a bit of air time, then go straight back into the squat position- you're cheating if you lock out your knees to land.) They were last for me- and this was, of course, about 2 hours post K1, which includes a nice line-up of squats, bulgarian split squats, and reverse lunges. On the second set, I got to rep 12 and got stuck half-way up. It was kinda funny, actually- there's no way to get out of that except to drop back down. At any rate, I do believe I pooped myself out. No HIIT workout, didn't get around to it. All that was done 4-6 hours post fast-start.

I ended the fast this morning at ~10 a.m. because I didn't know when I would get lunch. So, I'm averaging 20-22 hours for fasts, except for last week when I only made 12 hours. Those last few hours are definitely the hardest- constant growly stomach, hiccups, headache. I find that very interesting. I also realized that fasting again tomorrow might be a bad thing, as it doesn't give me a day where I'm eating six solid meals, and I want to keep up on that too. So I'm changing that to Thursday mid-morning. It seems to be going okay. A little bit of food fascination coming along with it, so I'll have to be careful not to head down a slippery slope. I'm also refusing to weigh-in until Monday again, because I have a feeling that the low weigh-in encourages me to overeat on the weekends, and I definitely don't need that.

No workout so far today, I'll have to swing the kettlebell a bit before heading to bed. And that will be soon, because I'm exhausted.

On a greater note, the voting is open for the Turbulence Training Transformation Contest! Can you believe it's been 12 weeks already since it started? I know I can't. The contestants look great, and it's hard deciding who should win. However, you have a say in the matter! Just click here and enter your vote. While you're at it, if you haven't gotten TT yet, let the contestants be a great source of inspiration to you, and take the plunge. It's only $40 for the basic system, and believe me, it's very much well-worth the money. Honestly. Just because I had to tweak 2k4 into a different workout doesn't mean the TT hasn't taught me a ton about how effective workouts are designed. I absolutely loved Intermediate and the Original TT workouts. So, at any rate, go vote here for your favorite Transformation contestant or the contestant you believe has made the best changes.

This Week's Plan

2008-04-14T10:05:00.002-05:00

I have a plan for this week, and I'm going to write it down real quick before I get too busy. Here it is:

--Workouts every day this week. I'm mad that I missed Friday last week, because I was working so hard on my paper and we had a snow day, so no gym for me (quiet, Ripx, I've gotten quite good at ignoring those kettlebells next to the desk ;) So, workout plan: K1, HIIT, and 30-min circuit today, KBW and HIIT tomorrow, K2, HIIT, and 30-min circuit Wed., 20-min HIIT and 45-min SS on Thur, and K2 with KBW on Friday. I'm kicking those workouts out this week.

--Since the IF went so well for me last week, I'm going to do it again this week. I'll be fasting noon to noon today through tomorrow and repeating it again Wed evening through Thurs evening. The rest of the plan entails eating as healthy as possible on what we have.

On that note, I've also been looking at my cupboards, fridge, and freezer. We have exactly one month to clean them out (and I mean literally, get rid of EVERYTHING) before the move. We will be putting everything into storage for three months (June, July and most of August) while I'm up at the camp, so any food stuff we have will either have to be eaten, given away, or tossed. That will definitely make the eating plan very interesting over the next month. We will be making sure that we're buying only what's essential in the food dept. and can be finished quickly. Lots of planning will have to be involved, I think. This week's goal is to take an inventory of what we have, post it on the fridge, and make menus from it.

I'll also clean the cupboards while I'm at it. Believe it or not, it took cleaning the bathroom this weekend to make me realize that perhaps I should start the deep cleaning on the house now, so that all I'll have to do when we move out is the cursory once-over. LOL. I can be so thick sometimes :)

Another 24 hours

2008-04-13T12:11:00.002-05:00

So here it is Sunday and I haven't posted in, what, 4 days again? I believe Beck is now ahead of me in the Girl Power Challenge regarding posts... :)

I did another 24 hour fast on Thursday, starting Wed evening and ending Thurs with supper. It went okay- I chewed gum, drank water, and kept myself busy all day. I also kept my 145 weigh-in, although I didn't get to weigh-in on Friday. I believe that Skwigg was right when she said that intermittent fasting may be the easiest way for someone who is close to goal weight to get off those final pounds, because usually if you're close to goal, you've got to do some major tweaking and carb cycling in order to see any results- and even then they happen slowly at best. With intermittent fasting, I dropped 2 pounds in one week and (combined with the massage) helped the constant bloat go away that I've been experiencing lately (more on that when I can approach the subject without grossing someone out).

So, about Friday: we had- you guessed it- another snow day. In April. Man, it's a weird spring so far. I worked on the final dregs of my thesis (it's done!), baked a cake, and did a bit of laundry. So it was a good cake, very chocolate-y, and of course I've had some. I'll have to see about freezing the rest of it so I don't try and "finish" it this week.

Back Down

2008-04-09T23:30:00.002-05:00

Well, apparently something's working this week. I weighed in at 145.0 today. This despite the cup of ice cream I had yesterday evening.

Got a 2 hour massage tonight; it felt sooo good. My body truly doesn't like me sometimes, and boy did that massage bring some things out. Ahhh.

I got in 2 workouts today, which was pretty cool. First one was weights and HIIT on the elliptical, second was my 30-min circuit. I just used fairly light weights for the circuit, and didn't really break a sweat until the end. I also managed to pick up the house, vacuum, and do the dishes. I also worked on my thesis a bit, and trained a couple of clients. I do believe this was a fairly productive day! Back to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow. :) I'll be doing an intermittent fasting again, from 8:00 a.m. to as late as I can swing it (preferably Friday morning).

The New TT Forums

2008-04-08T23:09:00.002-05:00

I did a bit of looking at the new Turbulence Training forums this evening, something I haven't done before (I usually go after the new workouts with a voracious appetite, a bit like tunnel-vision, and forget about the forums). They're actually really neat, with discussions about nutrition, muscle building, fat loss, and the Oh-So-Famous Transformation Contest. That contest is starting to wrap up, and people are seeing some great results from it. That's pretty awesome, in my opinion. I can't even remember what the grand prize is, but hey, even those who don't get the grand prize are still winners- they're likely to be able to wear their bikini's this summer, or take off their shirts, without embarrassment. Kinda like the FAT Coalition forum, the TT forum is not quite as big as some of those weight-loss forums out there, so you're likely to be making new friends and building a great personal support system. You also get personal answers from the guru himself, Craig Ballantyne (who was on-line at the same time I was) and plenty from "old-timers"- those who have been at the forums for awhile.

It sounds like Craig is gearing up for a great big Turbulence Training birthday celebration come the beginning of May, but by then it's almost swimsuit season. I'm thinking that if you're having a hard time sticking to your exercise program, or aren't seeing any results from your current program, then it's time to try something new- and in my opinion, Turbulence Training is it. I love Craig's style of workouts and have been using them almost exclusively with myself and clients (with some exceptions for different goals of course) with great results. Turbulence Training works. It's quick, simple, and only takes 45 minutes per workout. Check it out, you've got nothing to lose (except the excess- ah, I won't go there)!

*Plug paid for by the Friends of Those Who Need to Make Money, LLC. ;)
**Nah, I actually just really like the program. And the forums really are neat. Did I mention that you get three months free when you purchase Turbulence Training through that nifty little link right there? ;)

Mixed

2008-04-08T09:29:00.002-05:00

I had mixed results yesterday. I did the fasting for about 12 hours before I couldn't stand it anymore, as I was a bit light-headed and my stomach was about ready to chew a hole through me so it could get food itself. For about an hour, I walked into and out of the kitchen before I just figured that 12 hours was enough.

The funny thing is, I broke my fast with a piece of pizza (homemade, thank you). Definitely still not there. However, it's better than the Cap'n Crack Berries that were calling my name. I do believe I need to get those out of my house. My workout yesterday: I did half of my strength workout, felt great the whole time, then started chatting with someone and didn't stop. Oops.

So I'm back on track today. I'll do my workout this afternoon (the new bodyweight one I made last week- I also did it last week and liked it very much-along with extra HIIT training). Bowl of oatmeal with 2 tbsp flaxseed, 1 tsp brown sugar, and 1 tsp raisins for breakfast. We're out of eggs and out of money right now ($6 for a gallon of milk and a pound of bananas? You've got to be kidding me). These next few weeks should be interesting on the money front. I'm working on a new e-book idea, except this one's geared toward teens. I'll let you know more when I know more.

I got my thesis back from my advisor yesterday- he LIKED it, he really really LIKED it! *squealing like a schoolgirl* LOL. Seriously though, all he wants is a few changes here and there, some grammatical errors, and he caught my use of a textbook in a couple of places. Darn. If I used a textbook, it's because I either a) couldn't get ahold of the original study or b) wanted a nice summary and the textbook provided it. That makes things interesting! So, spruce that up this week, get it back to him, and voila- semester's done (essentially. I still have a defense, one easy paper to write and a take-home test in early May).

Well, I've got two workouts to write up!

On or Off

2008-04-06T17:58:00.002-05:00

Wow, I can't believe I haven't posted since Wednesday. I do believe I've set myself back some paces, not only in the blogging but in other areas as well. My life is completely crazy right now. That's no excuse, just a fact. Here's the stuff, not necessarily in order, of what's going on:

1. I wore my bikini this weekend at a hotel pool. My hubby would not allow me to buy a tankini, because he believes I look "good enough" to wear it. I still am not sure I agree with that, but I'm not a complete embarrassment in it- not slim like I'd prefer, but not 50 pounds overweight either. I still have issues with seeing myself that way.

2. We will officially be moving this spring! The job offer came through. It will be a very big change; we'll be going from small town South Dakota to Minneapolis MN. Price difference for everything is at least $100-300 higher than we've ever paid, which scares us, especially since the job is an opportunity, not a high-pay corporate thing. Meaning I may have to take on a second job. Anyway, here are some details: I'll be working for a camp, helping it to re-build after it was hit by a forest fire last summer, doing scheduling, administrative work, etc. During the summers I will be up at the camp, and during the school year I'll be in Minneapolis. Seem like this is coming out of nowhere? Well, I've always had an interest in camps, especially since I was a counselor in 2000 and loved it. I went back to graduate school to get a Master's degree so I could qualify for higher-up jobs in the camp industry, but the degree is in Sports Science because I want to work especially with kids who are overweight, and there weren't any weight-loss-specific programs in the area. So I've been learning what I can through my program, attaining my personal training certification in the process, and doing a lot of self-learning on the side. The thesis was especially helpful in that regard. It was a good project that allowed me to really learn how the lives of children are affected by obesity, and also what programs are available, which work, and why. I will tell you, the results of many of those programs are as dismal as the results for Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers. So it definitely won't be an easy area to work in, because people have free will and often make decisions which aren't good for them. We humans like to take the easy way out, and believe me, our society is built for ease and comfort.

So, that means my life will be making a drastic change come mid-May. It will be very interesting, let me tell you! However, I still want to pursue my on-line "stuff"- the blog, the website, all that, so I definitely won't be disappearing, don't worry about that. It will just be on a different scale and in a different place, with a different perspective.

3. We went to the Twin Cities this past weekend, and I've been "weak." Making choices that weren't exactly healthy or low in calories. I'll be working on that this coming week. I'm not beating myself up about it, I understand the ramifications. Sigh. I like maintenance mode too much, which is why it took me so long in the first place to lose 50 pounds. Does that mean I'll never reach my goal? Who knows. I'm stubborn enough that I likely will.

So the plan for this coming week: after breakfast tomorrow, I will pursue the Eat Stop Eat program for the next 24 hours. I will work on high protein intake on Tuesday and Wednesday, and then on Wednesday after supper I will do the 24 hour fast again. Thursday evening and Friday, I will eat higher protein, then on the weekend, I will eat as normal (without resorting to this past weekend's caloric intake, let me assure you!). The next week, I will repeat the process. I believe it's what I need, especially as I don't like to fiddle with cycling calories, dealing with high protein-low carb, etc.

4. I got the Gourmet Nutrition cookbook in the mail! I haven't made any of the recipes yet, but I think it will be good for me to follow it. At the very least, I'm going to work on following the Anytime meals more than the post-workout meals, and it'll give me some great ideas and ways to make those anytime meals.

5. I re-adjusted my workout, performed it, and like it quite a bit. I'm ready to get lifting again! I'll have to get it posted soon. Workouts are going to include 45-minute Steady State sessions at least once per week, three times if I can swing it. This is on top of the HIIT training. One of the workouts is a bodyweight workout, which will feel great.

I don't believe there's anything else- this is what happens when I don't blog for a few days!

April Fool's No Fool

2008-04-02T11:01:00.003-05:00

Except for the fact that the scale decided to hate me (first at the gym and then at the dr. office), yesterday was pretty smooth regarding April Fool's (no pranks anyway). Got in a quick workout before the dr. appt, appt. went okay, got on the phone and was able to discuss some things regarding the new job, didn't sleep through class (always a good thing), etc. Standard.

Food log:
B: oatmeal w/ 1 tsp brown sugar and 1 tsp raisins
Snack: 1 granola bar
L: Tuna2Go, apple
Snack: pumpkin seeds
Supper: Tacos (3), prunes (2)
Snack: skipped (not hungry)

Workout: 30 min SS on Elliptical

I'm still working on the meals portions, can you tell? In the mornings I'm not hungry, but around 3 pm I'm ready to eat a horse. If I eat more in the mornings I can stave that off, duh. The scale is also headed in the wrong direction. At the gym it was 150.0, which is the scale I normally use and so reported with, but at the dr. office, I was sadly disappointed to see the scale stop at 156.2. Ugh. I REALLY wanted to see that 147 at least at the dr.'s, I was so mad when she had to flip the dealie to 150 and then skip up the numbers. If the 24 hr fast didn't make me eat like a hungry-man for the next 3 days, I'd do it again. However, what I really need to do is just start playing with what I am eating. It's obviously not doing it for me this time. I'm also thinking I need to start spending a little more time in the gym again. As if I hadn't been, right? Well to tell the truth, if you've looked at how often I've lifted in the past 4 weeks or so, you'd be disappointed. I've been lucky to get in 2 lifting sessions a week. And this week will be the same. Part of it? I absolutely do not like 2k4. There. I've said it. It's brutal, and I don't like it, and I'm not getting anywhere with it because I haven't been keeping up with the lifting schedule. I'm also so dmed ready to get outside, and the weather around here has left a lot to be desired.

Dang, I'm in a black mood today. I'll work on that! I'll likely post again tonight so I can get caught up with the blogs. You'll find me in a better mood!

Snow Day

2008-04-01T08:13:00.003-05:00

We had a snow day yesterday (seriously), and it's amazing how little one gets done on those days. Of course, it didn't help that we had company who were stranded. Anyhow, extended weekend for me!

Yesterday's food log:
B: 1 small cinnamon roll (biscuit-sized), 2 oz orange juice
Snack: 1 slice homemade whole wheat bread, 2 tbsp PB, 1.5 cups milk
L: 4 WW flaxseed pancakes, 3 oz ham
Snack: apple and 2 slices cheese
Supper: Tomato soup, grilled cheese sandwich, 7 crackers
Snack: skipped, not hungry

Workout:
15 min walking (over snow, against wind, lots of fun)
30 min snow shoveling (wet and heavy stuff)
20 min snowball fight, walking

I feel like I took it easy in the workout dept yesterday, but it was fun having a snowball fight. The snow was perfect for that- sticky and heavy- not so great for easy shoveling. After that, my daughter and I wandered around the place, "exploring". Very sweet. She had fun outside yesterday.